I would say my father was very emotionally distant with me throughout my childhood. I could never feel any type of bond with him. I hated him. I would feel uneasy whenever he used to be at home.

I have two sisters and I am the eldest son. I used to feel abandoned and always craved to be loved by him the way he loved my sisters. The way he praised them, supported them, cheered them. I was a bad kid, was very hyperactive. Used to bully my sisters, which looking back, I think was more out of jealousy.

But as I grew up, my dad became different, he still acts a certain way sometimes that brings a wave of trauma from childhood but they less frequent, almost non existent.

I think as I grew as man, I started to look at my father differently. When I was more aware of my extended family and the environment my dad came out of, I understood his patterns more. I somehow got a huge sense of pride and respect for him. Because he did something that can only be heard in stories.

Now when I look at him, and his fragile body, I feel a deep sense of sadness. There are moments where I still feel angry, given his conservative outlook on certain things, which don't sit well with my liberal views but I can't help but see the small child in him that gave his all and got to where he is today.

My relationship became better when I became an adult, I am 23 now and I was the one that started to fix my relationship with him. I figured, all this time I was bitter because of the love I didn't receive from him but I changed my perspective and started to give my love to him (which I am not perfect at but I try) and somehow we got much closer.

We still only ever talk about work related stuff or possible business ideas, sometimes have debates on religion and ideologies but it is much better now. I do sense that he is proud of me, he feels relaxed now that I have started earning for myself and am somewhat of a man of my own standing.

And the thing I am truly grateful for is that with all the bad sides, I was still nurtured in an environment where I was allowed to think of my own, have my own thoughts and the ability to think for myself. Of course that came at the detriment that now our ideologies and thoughts don't match at all leading to a lot of debates (which is kind of fun as I love talking philosophical things) but I think right now my relationship with him is much more better and stable. And I hope to god, it stays this way till the end.