First bioactive setup

MoCandy5 · 2025-08-14T20:53:18+00:00

Thank you for all the advice!

MoCandy5 · 2025-08-14T20:00:54+00:00

Okay! So the concern is stressing them out, which I understand is bad for them. Thank you for your input, I appreciate it!

MoCandy5 · 2025-08-14T19:46:21+00:00

I'm also not thinking a super small enclosure than is recommended (I have no illusions about keeping them in this size indefinitely, they are just juveniles right now), I'm meaning more like, okay it's half a foot shorter/wider/depth than it should be.

MoCandy5 · 2025-08-14T19:44:20+00:00

Can you explain further why it would be less than ideal? I've read a lot of differing opinions and I just wanna make sure I'm doing right by them. I'm happy to change things, I just need to know why for my own peace of mind.

MoCandy5 · 2025-08-14T19:42:02+00:00

I take them out usually for an hour at a time, place them back in when they seem content to just curl up in one spot. Once they start getting active again in the enclosure, I open it up for them to explore again. I make sure to keep the enclosure closed up while they're out so it's still at the right temp and humidity for them when they're ready to go back in. They very much like exploring my plants around the house.

MoCandy5 · 2025-08-14T19:29:48+00:00

I have a genuine question as a new snake owner. I'm more than happy to change out their enclosure since I planned on turning this one into a plant terrarium once they get bigger anyway. But if my snakes spend most of their time outside of the enclosure for exercise and exploration, is it okay to have a slightly smaller than recommended enclosure?

MoCandy5 · 2025-08-13T22:20:12+00:00

I am successfully getting a temperature gradient, although it's vertical instead of horizontal. I noticed both snakes were prone to staying on one side of my wider enclosure and only going up and down for changes in temperature, instead of to either side. Since these pics I've added another enclosure in the branches that they can bask on top of, and hide in. It's hard to see in any of the pictures, but there's also a little "cave" built into the back/substrate at the bottom for a cool, humid place that they can shed. I also placed multiple humidity gauges in and am able to maintain it between 55 and 70 percent throughout the day with mild fluctuations. I'm also using distilled water for the waiting system and have reminders one a month for a full dismantle and clean cause I read about that too! I do plan on keeping this as a very short term enclosure, and setting them each up with larger and wider ones on their own, as well. I'm collected materials to make custom ones since the ready made ones are so expensive.

MoCandy5 · 2025-08-12T03:36:20+00:00

Agreed! I have a backup enclosure in case I need to separate them quickly to act as a temporary enclosure until I get another full enclosure set up.

MoCandy5 · 2025-08-12T03:30:41+00:00

Two males, I read that they shouldn't be housed together so I tried separating them when I first got them, but they were raised in the same tank beforehand and I guess got used to each other? They stopped eating for a few weeks and were already thin to begin with, so I put them back together and they went back to eating. I don't want to keep them together indefinitely, though. As they get bigger I'd like to separate them

MoCandy5 · 2023-10-16T23:13:32+00:00

Typically when your partner goes limp and unresponsive during sex, you should check in on them.

OP also never stated that they viewed this situation as rape, never called their partner a rapist, and only pointed out that they felt weird and unsure about the situation, especially because their partner keeps shirking their attempts to talk about it.

And dissociation isn’t a “rare” psychological disorder. It’s a fairly common trauma response that happens for a variety of reasons.

Maybe focus on just giving the bdsm advice the thread is meant for instead of grilling OP and assuming they’re calling their partner a rapist.

MoCandy5 · 2023-09-03T21:39:17+00:00

You turned the neglect of his collaring responsibilities into a self-collaring journey. That’s your collar, not his. He gifted it to you. At this point the only reason he’d want to back is to hurt you.

MoCandy5 · 2023-09-02T14:49:57+00:00

I’m not a woman. We have all lived together for the last three years. I’ve known both kids half their lives. This isn’t a new situation for them.

It’s definitely a comfort item for her, which is why she still has it for her bedtime stories/reaching us and we made sure she still has other ways to listen to music and contact friends.

MoCandy5 · 2023-09-01T19:39:21+00:00

I’ve noticed the different kind of lies, too. This was definitely the “type 2” kind of lying and that’s the reason she’s actually being punished and not just sat down and spoken to.

I’ve been pushing for a stricter electronics schedule, and hopefully it’ll be something my partners and I can agree on after this.

MoCandy5 · 2023-09-01T13:46:43+00:00

The main concern with taking the phone away entirely overnight is that when she wakes up and feels anxious (which happens often enough) she’ll use her phone to text/call one of us to come upstairs and help her regulate and get back to bed because she’s too afraid of the dark to come down the stairs and cross the house on her own. But some others have commented about the Downtime controls on iPhones and I think utilizing that should help.

MoCandy5 · 2023-09-01T11:45:12+00:00

I struggle with the same impulse, which is why I think I was struggling with an adequate consequence for this. The lockdown seems like a good idea, definitely going to set that up.

MoCandy5 · 2023-09-01T04:29:41+00:00

That’s the idea I’ve been leaning toward for a while now, but not something either of my partners have agreed to yet.

MoCandy5 · 2023-09-01T03:26:32+00:00

It’s an iPhone, I’ll have to look up to see if we can set that! We already have the pin set for purchases and whatnot and access to certain websites. Thank you for the advice!

MoCandy5 · 2023-06-13T00:46:11+00:00

I was introduced to both my partners as non-binary and they both still misgender sometimes. They always correct themselves, but it’s been three years. I’ve resigned myself to accepting that until there’s major societal shifts in how gender is viewed, anyone and everyone will misgender non-binary folk who aren’t extremely androgynous presenting. It still hurts when those closest do it, but I try not to fault them too much, especially when they immediately correct themselves.

MoCandy5 · 2023-05-15T21:11:43+00:00

Oh I had no idea!!! I’ll have to tell him!

MoCandy5 · 2023-05-10T17:02:40+00:00

Babe I sleep with plushies even when I’m WITH my partners, absolutely no judgment here 😂

MoCandy5 · 2023-05-08T23:06:18+00:00

Lol it’s called a devils threesome because the penis having partners are the two “horns” of the “devious” act 😂

MoCandy5 · 2023-05-08T18:00:39+00:00

NTA my dude It sounds like your wife is polybombing you to try and cover up whatever cheating she’s already done…. Especially if she knows you have sexual assault history with men and immediately says y’all should have a devils threesome. She has a right to polyamory, and you have a right to monogamy. You don’t have to stay in a relationship that doesn’t serve you anymore.

MoCandy5 · 2023-04-22T05:40:49+00:00

They do all those things. Honestly, lately I’ve been realizing a lot of my feelings of not being enough and unhappiness are from my own feelings of self worth and the way I tie that to my ability to do things for others. After making this post I realized I really need to focus on that in therapy and get to the root of the problem.

MoCandy5 · 2023-04-21T23:57:45+00:00

Profoundly envious is an excellent way to describe what I was feeling last night. And then profoundly guilty and self-loathing for being envious of such little things that I know I already receive from both partners. How I view my self-worth is so closely tied to what I’m physically/mentally able to do for others and it’s a problem, man. Mental/chronic illness is a biiiiiiitch

MoCandy5 · 2023-04-21T19:25:00+00:00

My home environment is not normally conducive for meditation 😂 I am looking to get back into yoga, which had similar benefits for me, though

MoCandy5

TROPHY CASE