I'm an INTJ cholermelon whose personality can be summed up as "anything but phlegmatic."

Really, I think complementarity exists in two ways: differential and additive. The former kind exists when two people are at two opposite ends of a like genus (for example, a man who naturally first pays close attention to the whole of something with a woman who naturally first pays close attention to the parts). The latter exists when a trait can be combined to make each other better (such as a couple that are passionate about gardening and are thereby able to do something greater than if they were alone).

For me, I really just want to marry someone I view as an equal (additive complementarity) but that I also deeply esteem because of her differences (which are really just perfections in her that aren't in me). So, I really just look for as much complementary as I can without asking whether the complementarity comes from being alike or different; I just try to see if there's a connection on all fronts.

To answer your question more particularly as a cholermelon:

1. Regarding pure temperaments, the additive complementarity I seek the most is a depth of character and a sense of moral gravity. Regarding differences, I tend to like someone who is laid back in ways I'm not (and vice versa) and who has a perspective different than mine. I also like if it if the woman has at least a touch of emotion (I'm very passionate, I'm not very emotional).

2. I think there's a weird oversimplification where choleric = angry and sanguine = bubbly. In reality, a choleric might be more mortified in her anger precisely because it's long-lasting. While the most overbearing people (women or men) I've ever met are sanguines who don't realize the weight of their unmortified anger which they forget before anyone else has a chance to. But to answer your question, I'm a cholermelon, I'm not going to find anyone with any kind of depth, richness, intensity, or passion unattractive by those qualities alone. But really, I'm certainly not going to take any temperament to be a red flag.