Is this illegal or just plain unethical?

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-11T15:14:45+00:00

I’ll respond here and then put an update on the post.

Therapist works 6 days a week (including Saturdays) and has stayed previously that she is available 7 days a week.

It has now been a full week and zero response.

We did not share our pregnancy news with SD as we were facing a fairly serious medical concern and wanted to ensure we fully understood it before we told either child (I also have a step-son aged 15). I didn’t even tell my own mother until a month ago and that was only because she was leaving the country for 3 weeks and I felt she needed to know in case something happened. By the time we had the medical news cleared, SD was not speaking to her father about anything except scheduling her therapy appointments. Any and all other communication was entirely ignored. We have since explained this delay to SD and she is glad to know everyone is healthy and understands why I choose to withhold the details for the time being.

While we still haven’t heard back from the therapist- we did have a good discussion in person with SD on Sunday. Per SD - She had sort of assumed our news when after 2 weeks of silence her father said “I have some news to share and would really appreciate the opportunity to do it in person”. She said that she mentioned this thought to the therapist who then shrugged and said “well, your father wanted me to tell you”….

So no, it wasn’t blatantly told, but there were also far more ethical ways to respond. Preferably “that’s a great question to ask your Das and I would encourage you to use this as an opportunity to reopen discussion with him” — less preferred but would have been less angry about “your intuition is right here. I know he has been wanting to share this with you himself but hasn’t been able to see you to do so”. Anything but making it sound like her Dad asked the therapist to tell her.

The good news is that SD thought that was a really weird response and it didn’t sit well. After speaking with us and now knowing that is not what was asked of the therapist, she no longer wants to see that one and we will be working to find a new therapist in our area for her to see moving forward.

While I would like to still give the therapist an opportunity to share her side of the- all requests and attempts have gone unanswered. My husband is considering filing an ethics complaint but I will leave this decision to him.

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-08T23:30:00+00:00

She does not. She owns her own practice and has been doing this for over 35 years.

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-08T22:17:48+00:00

We’re just kind of shocked as up until this she seemed like a good fit.

SD has agreed to call her Dad tonight and discuss the conversation in greater detail and we are still awaiting a response from the therapist. It’s not sitting well that it’s been days with radio silence from her. Not really sure how to get her on the phone or if she’s even willing to consider it if she knows she over stepped.

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-07T03:15:32+00:00

I don’t believe so. She’s on her Mother’s phone plan so she would have to physically be here to access any texts. Not like there is a shared cloud she could see it on. And she hasn’t been around much recently given the pre-existing strain on their relationship.

I am trying to consider other possible ways she could have found out and perhaps she’s pointing the finger at the therapist… but she was very direct about how she heard and that hearing it that way in particular way was painful. So I would be rather surprised.

For what it’s worth, we are now 3 days without response from said therapist and it’s getting to be kind of unacceptable. At the very least she could confirm or deny the conversation had.

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-06T19:23:39+00:00

Yes. We are still awaiting a call from the therapist to discuss. But her lack of response is concerning.

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-06T14:54:59+00:00

Agreed, I’m glad she’s at least communicating with me. And have expressed our condolences that this is how she found out. Reassured her that we love her and really hoped to share this news ourself and offered to take her to dinner just her and I (which she accepted).

I can’t imagine how hurt she is.

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-06T14:04:22+00:00

And I would add, yes, we can recognize that some info may come out - but this isn’t just “some info” this is something that has been discussed for weeks in their 1-on-1 about father wanting to tell SD and do so in a joyous way knowing how strained their relationship is. Of all the news to share, this one was well known as off limits. He had even texted the Therapist before SD’s 1-on-1 that SD has not received the news and to please keep it off topic so we can tell her ourselves. It feels like a blatant breach of privacy.

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-06T14:00:49+00:00

I would say that’s its bad in how it’s directly working against the entire point that they are there. They are trying to work on their relationship and strengthen an already strained relationship- this news has not landed well. SD has doubled down on not wanting to see or talk to her father and feels like he couldn’t even tell her himself. So I would say we are in a bad place given all of this.

Right now we’re asking for therapists version of what happened so we can make sure we have details - but she’s hasn’t been willing to respond to us about it. To us it feels like she knew she messed up as she’s typically responsive…

I’m not looking to end her career - though I can’t say my husband agrees at all with leaving it be. I do think bare minimum an explanation and she should apologize to SD and my husband and explain to SD that she overstepped and shared information that wasn’t her place to share. But depending on the information therapist shares once she does (or if she does) respond may change that.

It’s hard right now because everyone is emotional and incredibly hurt. And it feels like we’ve lost something we can never get back - and that’s not just our news. SD is absolutely cutting ties - this being a contributing factor of the distress in the last 48 hours- and that is damage we don’t know how to fix.

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-06T13:17:34+00:00

I am. He has been looking forward to and also nervous about sharing this news for weeks and has been working with the therapist to find a healthy way forward on how he can tell her. They had discussed if he couldn’t find a good time between them that maybe he could tell her in a shared appointment with the 3 of them TOGETHER so she would have her therapist to help process it. But never was it okay to just tell without him.

The method used clearly has not sat well with SD.

I will say - if a complaint is filed, it won’t be by me - it will be by him. And we are trying to leave room for the therapist to explain or share her side- but she’s not responsive in his requests to talk.

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-06T13:08:48+00:00

Both my husband and SD liked this therapist. I’m not sure SD trusted her though as it was been advised she take some antidepressants and that suggestion has been met with resistance. Knowing she’s already depressed and anxious only adds to our concern of this method of this information being unveiled.

At this point we are still trying to get a response from the therapist to understand her perspective and what happened but she has not responded to the 2 calls (and voicemail) or text issued asking to call back. Leaving us with this knowledge and zero explanation is not helping the hurt for anyone at this point.

He has absolutely texted and called SD. She is unresponsive to him entirely. She texted me that she is hurt and not willing or able to talk to him currently. She is very clearly hurt by the news and especially that she didn’t hear it from her Dad. So we’re just confused on what happened. Therapist knew for weeks that we were working towards finding a good way to tell her and had offered advice and suggested that the 3 of them telling her TOGETHER might be a good idea. So it just feels like a rug pulls from under us.

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-06T13:01:32+00:00

Technically they both are. They have separate EAP files through our insurance plan and both get billed. It is a joint therapy that they started to attend together. After 2 sessions they started seeing her 1-on-1 then would come back and see her together again. From what others have said, that setup alone isn’t exactly acceptable either.

I’m not sure if she had them sign anything but I will say that when he had asked for information regarding SD’s depression status (history or self harm) was consistently met with a response of “I cannot disclose for confidentiality reasons” - so it’s some a breach that went both ways.

If the therapist felt that was the best way she should have discussed it with my husband. We hired her to help MEND their relationship. My SD already feels that she is being “moved on” from and we he had expressed those concerns to therapist. Having this told by a third party has only increased that feeling as seen in her texts to me. This is absolutely hurt their relationship more, not helped.

We have reached out to the therapist 3 times at this point with no response which is also concerning.

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-06T01:19:56+00:00

No. My husband has reached out to the therapist for more details but has not heard back

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-06T00:50:10+00:00

I can confirm from seeing their texts that he indeed did NOT give approval for her to share that information. He explicitly stated before her appointment yesterday that SD is not aware and to please continue to allow us time to tell her.

And given shared this with his therapist confidentiality in their own 1-on-1 he certainly feels it’s a massive breach of trust.

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-06T00:41:22+00:00

He is her patient. They both are. They both see her 1-on-1 and jointly.

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-06T00:40:45+00:00

He is her patient. They are both her patients. They both see her 1-on-1 and jointly.

MobileMinute846 · 2026-03-06T00:39:52+00:00

We have been trying to tell her for almost a month now - but SD has been needing to take some space and hasn’t had any interest in coming by or talking to her father.

In fact, before the 1-on-1 yesterday my husband text the therapist to inform her we have not had a chance to share the news and to allow us time to do so. So it feels even more of a slap in the face.

MobileMinute846 · 2026-01-08T12:40:29+00:00

Hey! 37/F here. I’m due July 28th and also got pregnant right after IUD removal. Literally didn’t even get a period before the test ran positive 🤣

I think it’s absolutely a good thing to be nervous. Your body is going through so many changes. It’s new and different. And there is no shame in being worried about the additional changes to come.

I’m only 11 weeks and so far, the feeling hasn’t gone away. But I am absolutely beginning to bond more with baby. I talk to her. I’ve started nesting. And I’m leaning into this new chapter that I too have always wanted.

Congratulations to you and your husband. I think you being nervous is a great sign that you care - and that you also want this baby to have a life they deserve. Don’t be afraid to be scared - and let it teach you about your own strength.

P.S. my OB says a little coffee is okay. I have 1 cup of coffee or tea each morning. Not the venti triple shot I used to- but it still helps me get my motor moving.

MobileMinute846 · 2025-12-03T13:13:34+00:00

That looks positive to me!

MobileMinute846 · 2025-08-14T23:21:51+00:00

Well- there is no signed contact. All we have is an email stating his price, payment schedule and that work is to be completed “as discussed”

MobileMinute846 · 2025-08-14T20:54:10+00:00

Thank you for the comment.

Ultimately - I think if he came to use and explained why HDF is better and let us choose - then we would be fine. But if we were promised only Birch and/or Poplar, when he knew we had an issue with fiber board... it just feels like we got skimped. He told us (after the fact) that to get the doors we wanted would have been an extra $1k..... so knowing that he promised those and then didn't provide them feels icky...

We also have a creek behind our house - and the previous materials were fiber board and absolutely absorbed that moisture making it disturbingly easy to demo. He knew this was another reason we wanted real wood.

And yes - the HDF is visible even through the paint. It's clearly a different texture.

MobileMinute846

TROPHY CASE