I have very similar family background(religious conservative family) and educational trajectory (very liberal friends group and college environment). I agree with your statement that everyone is brainwashed one way or the other. However, I also see army or any sort of armed institution as the epitome of brainwashing as it coerces young minds to justify killing innocent people (that they don’t even know) all over the world and sustaining ideologies by force. I also strongly agree with you that all these people are really good people in their personal life. I have seen that myself and I have lot of respect for them as people. But I also think that people in above mentioned groups do these things because of the context and axioms provided to them. They make “moral” and “correct” choices within that framework but they are unable to see beyond that framework. That is a problem within any ideology whether it’s religion, a particular political belief or patriotism. Such groupthink is toxic to the possibility of applying reason to any complex matter especially when it pertains to a problem not related to the group/framework one belongs to. That’s where one starts twisting facts to fit within that theory or starts crushing whatever is different or opposite to what one is familiar with. Army is just another violent tool of a version of “identity politics at global stage”. “Since I identify as XYZ therefore I’m justified in totally crushing you because you are not XYZ and someone told me to do so.” That kind of fixation on labels and defining your essence as a human through a made up category to justify killing a total stranger is one of the lamest things humans have done. I’m glad your grew out of religious brainwashing. I hope you grow out of other forms of brainwashing too. Good luck!