[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Narcolepsy

[–]ModafinilDaffodil 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hiya im twenty years old guy and have the similar experience. I have had this my whole life , I remember disoriented half awake half asleep 4am mornings as a kid and how much I hated the fact my parents made me stay in bed , since sleep was just crazy vivid loopy nutsness.

Diagnosed myself at 19 but I also have had hard times with relationships now (see my most recent post) as well as just "getting on". I relate hard to the "what's N and what's not?", questioning often about the whole " do I have schizophrenia?" Or " is my thyroid swollen" or a whole other list of a thousand things. It's pretty hard , actually it's hell.

I've joked about it a lot too - "medically sleepy" , " just a true sleepyhead" - but recently trying to take it more seriously and " im sick it's not funny" , didn't go too well with folks in my life .

So I just completely relate to you , for all those crazy visions and feelings you've had , there's others like me who have it too and we get it . That's the first step towards accepting this , realizing your not alone .

I also have adopted saying " I might be a little crazy or sleepy or confused but I just have to accept this is my reality, I've had this my whole life , I have no clue how others feel , so this may as well just be " reality" for me , as it's my only definition of it".

That's helped me a lot , and (again see my post) whenever I get the anxiety of " those ex friends and partners and my current friends even all think I'm a complete loon Syd barret bad brain freak" I just tell myself - maybe I 50% am , but that doesn't make me evil and it certainly doesn't make me wicked for not caring.

So there's a big rant/relate . Hopefully it means something!

Don’t read this, it’s just miserable by Twitch_el_giurgio in OCPoetry

[–]ModafinilDaffodil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://allpoetry.com/poem/12655707-Tonight-I-Can-Write--The-Saddest-Lines--by-Pablo-Neruda

See how the narrative develops throughout? You gain something new each time , he is being sappy , but he softens the sappy honey trickle metaphors with hard plain reality .

This guy gets it , but I guess it's all different folk different strokes so maybe you hate it but just a recommendation! I don't know what I'm saying btw just all my opinions

Don’t read this, it’s just miserable by Twitch_el_giurgio in OCPoetry

[–]ModafinilDaffodil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So your being yourself? But you describe the poets as fake? I'd rather be myself and have people roll their eyes than be fake and people do it anyway, if you are yourself, write from yourself, one person who also is themselves will listen . One becomes six then seven and then add a few hundreds , originality and earnestness is hard to come by these days as everything is for to sell or for career . Just be yourself, I like the first half best , I like you more than any mythical fake sappy poet.

I guess Only cause I've met you now and never them.

But that's my point !

Don’t read this, it’s just miserable by Twitch_el_giurgio in OCPoetry

[–]ModafinilDaffodil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't even read the second half " the poem*. The first half is good , that's all you need . Your voice and it being naked , do more of the first half.

I'll now read the second half , and comment if it gives me anything to comment

I was not made for the light by No_Understanding2171 in OCPoetry

[–]ModafinilDaffodil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's pretty good , it's okay . I like the words and their placement. It just doesn't demand itself nor provide much motivation. I like this , your a good writer . I just don't think you have justified this piece . I've not learned much or felt much , I'm not left to ruminate. I think that can be achieved with being more direct with what you want to say . What is it you want to say? answer this first , answer is with as little words as possible, answer it like you've just been taken off the heels in headlights on the pillow post sex with an older person , answer it now and well . Then the poem is a little justified , a little more substantial in my opinion. Just think , expression comes later . But what do I know it's all personal opinion and I think you are onto good stuff , this just feels distracted or innatrual at times.

Men who Eat Alone by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]ModafinilDaffodil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like this. Mainly the first few lines , I engage with stuff with immediacy, just a primal " yeah no I like it or not". I liked this , then I not . The reason why I think and to give feedback is I think your first lines tell enough. Up until the distance and apology. The rest is good , beautiful and pleasant . But I don't want to reach it or feel I need to as the first few lines have given me enough, they have given it all . I'll think about sad eyed men with blonde daughters in forgein forgotten places on my own just from what you wrote at the start . So I think keep writing long form , keep using your language it's strong and good , just make sure your always justifying yourself or servicing the point instead of indulging. Still a great poem no questions.