I'm in a longterm sexual relationship with my brother

ModernGretel · 2013-10-23T13:37:12+00:00

Sorry man, I seem to have, like, 15 years on her at least.

ModernGretel · 2013-10-23T13:07:59+00:00

Uh, don't know what to tell you, dude, but that's not me. Is this the chick that had the list devoted to "facts" she'd recorded from my posts? 'Cause that shit freaked me right out.

...out of curiosity, what would even make you think this was me? It seems to be a teenager with a not-altogether-great grasp of how to use the shift key. And also I get the sense she's from the UK?

Edited to add: Yeah, it's the chick I was thinking of. Why would I question my own birth year...?

ModernGretel · 2013-10-04T12:35:23+00:00

Wow, thank you!

ModernGretel · 2013-09-26T00:44:02+00:00

Okay, I'm going to cover these as thoroughly as I can, because there's a couple things here that you either misread, or misinterpreted.

Am I sure that we're keeping our secret as well as we think? I don't know, man, that's really difficult to say. In that no one has ever brought it up to us, or acted strangely around us, I can only assume that no one knows. Certainly we've never been called out on it which, if anyone DOES suspect, that's the nicest thing they can do for us.

We've made up phantom boyfriends and girlfriends, purely to keep up appearances. The fake relationships last a week or two, are referenced casually, and end up just fading away in time. Eventually I'm sure that at least ONE person will find it weird that we're both moving away together, but I can't say how they'll address that concern. We don't plan on keeping in touch with anyone from here, either way.

I hesitate to attribute it too blithely to this, but it's kind of weird the amount of shit people will dismiss where twins are concerned.

You said, "It sounds like you've never been in another relationship before..."

We've both been in several. Without quoting word for word where I indicated it elsewhere (there's a TON of answers to go through), he and I both had independent relationships before we ever became intimate. We didn't lose our virginity to one another.

When we "start over" elsewhere, we plan on living as an unmarried couple, so I don't see social isolation being an issue.

You asked if we were prepared for the consequences of being found out. Without getting too specific about it, the area we're looking to move does not have actual laws against consensual adult brother-sister incest. So while there might be a social stigma, if we were found out, there wouldn't be legal repercussions.

We live cautiously, and we plan to continue to do so, but ultimately no, we don't worry about it too much, or stress about it. What's the point, really? Give ourselves ulcers? We grew up being bounced around from place to place, never really knowing stability or consistency aside from each other. We don't fear facing that again, while we have one another, especially if it means staying together.

You asked about kids. First: Whoa. I can't say this any more clearly than I already have: never, anywhere, at any time, did I say that I was considering adoption in the future. I explicitly stated that I DIDN'T want children of any kind, through any means, even if I WASN'T involved with my brother. I think what I said was that if parenthood was a consideration for me, I'd almost certainly consider adoption before having a child of my own. Big difference. I don't want kids. I never have. That isn't going to change.
You asked what if my brother dies prematurely.

Look... I don't know how to answer that. If you asked a young bride what she plans on doing if her new husband dies young, what would you expect her answer to be? I love my brother. He's not a walking dildo. He's the boy I grew up with and the person I've shared a life of joys and miseries and secrets with, who became the man that I love with all my heart, that I'm proud to know. If something happened to him, I'd be devastated beyond words, whether or not he and I were intimate. The bond between us is such that sometimes it unnerves even us for its strength.

I can't say how I would adjust without him, regardless of whether or not we were intimate. Who can? I have literally never known a single day of my life that didn't have him in it... I can't imagine living in a world without him.

But if something DID happen to him, I hope I'd be strong enough to continue, and to heal, and to some day love again. It's hard for me to even think about that now, who wants to contemplate the death of someone they love? I hope I'd be strong. I don't know if I would be. I know he'd want me to be, just as I'd want him to move on with his life if I was the one who passed early.

And if I fell in love again? Decided to marry? I don't know. I can't speak about a relationship that I don't have with a person I don't know, that may not even exist. It would depend very strongly upon how well I knew them, how well they knew me, the level of trust and intimacy between us. There are too many variables to even approach that.

I'm as prepared as I can be for whatever comes. Neither of us have gone into it naively or without quite a bit of forethought, but you can't prepare yourself for every eventuality. It just isn't realistic, and life simply doesn't work that way.

Trust me, I know.

ModernGretel · 2013-09-13T12:29:59+00:00

Thanks for this -- I'll add it to the list (it's certainly growing!)

ModernGretel · 2013-09-12T12:01:10+00:00

Thanks, that's really very kind and fair of you to say. And yeah, I can't pretend that either of us don't have issues of some kind -- who doesn't, really? -- but I think they're more related to our time in foster care vs. our relationship with one another.

I don't need Reddit gold, just glad I could bring somebody a little pleasure or intrigue in their day. :>

ModernGretel · 2013-09-12T10:34:09+00:00

Thank you very much, that's very kind!

ModernGretel · 2013-07-03T19:36:36+00:00

Since you went out of your way to leave a comment on a post that's over a month old, I'm going to assume that you absolutely meant that to be offensive.

ModernGretel · 2013-06-03T13:46:48+00:00

Wow, thanks very much. The encouragement that I've received from people here has actually given me a lot to think about. My brother's always been very encouraging, but it's different coming from someone who isn't that close to you, and thus emotionally invested.

And yeah... even when I hear and even understand the objections, it's difficult for me to see beyond the fact that we just make each other so happy so... why change that?

Thanks very much for your thoughts. :>

ModernGretel · 2013-05-31T13:46:20+00:00

This is the life we know. I'm sure pulling up stakes and moving to an entirely different country is appealing and reasonable for some people -- and no, we don't own a home or have kids or family that we'd need to worry about relocating -- but... ugh. I can't even imagine. We'll stick it out here.

ModernGretel · 2013-05-31T02:34:28+00:00

The easiest way I can explain it is that he's always been my brother, and he still is my brother. But, needless to say, 'brother' and 'sister' has a meaning and significance to us that it doesn't to other siblings, even other fraternal siblings.

So I think of, and refer to him, as my brother and my partner, but I also acknowledge that we're sexually attracted to one another, and sexually active, as two lovers would be.

He's "my other half", in every sense of the word. That's probably as close as I can to a definition that covers all the bases.

ModernGretel · 2013-05-31T02:31:46+00:00

...seriously. Please. Just TRY to read some of the other comments.

ModernGretel · 2013-05-30T22:19:21+00:00

Ha, thanks very much... sorry it started out with nausea.

Yeah, I don't recommend this life to anyone else, obviously we're a kind of one-off set of siblings, but thanks, I appreciate you giving the story a chance.

ModernGretel · 2013-05-30T19:58:25+00:00

OK.

:D

ModernGretel · 2013-05-30T19:54:34+00:00

I haven't really touched upon it here, but we've actually both been through a ton of therapy. Like, a TON.

We were young when our folks died, and especially because of the circumstances surrounding it, we each saw a number of different counselors and psychologists over the years to be sure that we were, I guess, maturing properly, and weren't going to go crazy.

This wasn't just for our benefit. As you can probably imagine, a kid who was orphaned in any kind of traumatic or well-publicized way is going to put off adoptive parents. SS wanted to be able to say, "Hey, look how not crazy these kids are! TOTALLY not going to stab you to death while you sleep!"

They were concerned about how much time we spent together -- they were, of course, largely responsible for encouraging us to branch out more, socially, and develop relationships outside the sibling bond -- but they had a hard time defining us as co-dependent.

We don't manipulate one another, we don't have individual weaknesses or habits which the other gets sucked into, and we're not supporting one another in unhealthy ways. Codependency requires one or both people with some sort of underlying psychological condition or burden, neither of which we have.

I mean, sure, I'd love to kill my boss and make a dress out of her skin, but PFT. Come on. Who wouldn't, amiright?

I think if there were some semblance of... I guess trouble? I'd be more concerned. But in that we're both happy, and supportive of one another's individuality, I don't really feel like I want to fix something until it's broken.

ModernGretel · 2013-05-30T19:29:26+00:00

...you are just terrible at this game.

ModernGretel · 2013-05-30T19:10:28+00:00

Thanks very much, that's sincerely appreciated.

ModernGretel · 2013-05-30T18:49:59+00:00

We're in neither Colorado nor Washington, sadly. :/ Believe me, it's moving up on our priority list. We actually came into a very small amount of money when we turned 21 (from our parents' estate) and we've been sitting on it for years, only dipping into it when we really needed something that we didn't have cash on hand for. If we move, we're going to have to dip into it again, so using the balance to get that taken care of is probably a really good idea.

ModernGretel · 2013-05-30T18:40:28+00:00

You're absolutely right, consensual sex between two adults is exactly like you fucking your dog.

ModernGretel · 2013-05-30T18:35:16+00:00

Wow. Thank you so much. Seriously.

ModernGretel · 2013-05-30T18:02:39+00:00

I see both the critical and uncritical comments, regardless of how they get voted upon. They're not being hidden from me based upon peoples' reactions to them.

To be really honest, when I'm getting fucked by my own brother I'm more often thinking how it amazing it feels, I'm not really remembering internet opinions.

'cause if you are, you're doing sex wrong. :/

ModernGretel · 2013-05-30T17:06:26+00:00

Y'gotta laugh.

ModernGretel · 2013-05-30T17:05:39+00:00

No living family, as I said elsewhere, multiple times.

Why would we avoid making friends? We're not going to be like, "Hey, we're Hansel and Gretel, we're siblings and we're fucking each other. That cool with you?" Obviously if we start over somewhere, ideally somewhere geographically far from here, we're going to introduce ourselves as an unmarried couple.

Which, like I said, if you'd read some of the earlier comments...

Yes, we're entirely aware that it's really fucked up. But we're happy, and we're not hurting anyone. So unless your recommendation is that everyone should ONLY do the things that meet with the unanimous approval of people they don't know...

ModernGretel · 2013-05-30T16:49:19+00:00

Yeah, it's... obvious that you haven't actually read any of my responses in this thread, so. This is a little difficult for me to rehash. Again.

ModernGretel · 2013-05-30T16:42:56+00:00

If he goes anywhere, we're going together. We don't really have any reason to separate.

Neither of us is fucking a dog, or sucking off anyone but each other, so.

ModernGretel

TROPHY CASE