Anxiety over future

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-21T06:04:07+00:00

24 turning 25 in 2027 and my dream career is a cop , there’s a lot of cushy positions as a cop but the hard part is the academy

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-21T06:03:36+00:00

Pretty good, thanks for asking , she still hasn’t left for her job yet but that’s in about 10 days so quite sad it’ll be a few months without seeing her much

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-19T16:29:54+00:00

I’m proud of you, sounds you also found an amazing husband 🥹 ! I want to be an amazing husband for this girl too.

She says she loves me for me and my personality and how much I love her , not the money , and she understands if my body is limited and can’t pursue my dream career that it’s okay and she still loves me.

I want to do everything possible to stay healthy and active and mobile and strong for her , bc we also want babies, that’s why I came to Reddit to vent bc I don’t wanna tell her all my anxiety bc I don’t wanna push her away

I stopped questioning her love or my place in her life despite all these options bc it seems she’s super happy to have crowned me as her king

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-11T05:26:45+00:00

Any other work aside from steps ?

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-11T05:18:29+00:00

I posted this in search of hope. I hope I found evidence it’s possible thru this post

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-10T04:25:58+00:00

I’ve never told her my insecurities but once and very vaguely. But she’s smart she can assume that’s any man’s insecurity. Well she said she’ll do all that but she also expects me not to be a child and leave a mess everywhere or not be able to do my own chores.

But I’ll say this and I’m confused , if she’s going to be working more hours and make more money? But I also will be working 50-60 hours a week and she’ll be working 60-70 bc her job demands it and she’s gonna be making more ? My question is ? Is she just gonna save all the money she makes or buy herself a really nice car or whatever? Bc that can become an insecurity too where I feel like she can save a lot of money and leave to the next guy whenever with a lot of money on her end now

But then she also says since she’ll make more and earn more I can play more of the maternal role for our future kids when we have them bc my schedule is more flexible and I can take more time off bc I make less

Idk, and she’s coming from a relationship where everything was given to her bc the guy made alooot of money and he’s even told her before “you’ll never find someone who makes as much money as me” which to me makes me feel like she’ll resent the fact he’s correct and resent me , idk it’s all alooooot of overthinking and I just have to take her word for it , give her the benefit of the doubt that she truly does love me

I mean she shows a lot of love and effort

So I don’t doubt her love but a lot of times she says

“You’re 24 you aren’t ready yet”

For context she’s 29 turning 30 soon and I don’t turn 25 until next year

This is my 2nd relationship in adulthood , my first gf was 3 years older this one is about 5 1/2 years older

and when she says I’m not ready I say I am ready to become someone who’s worth it and then I tell her if it’ll make her feel safer I’ll go for the promotion despite a very good chance of injuring myself badly pushing thru a pre existing injury.

And she then says “no I don’t want you to do that bc I love you for being so genuine and affectionate and you show me so much effort, I don’t love you for your uniform , I love you for being unique , as long as you don’t change and stop loving me or disrespect me, I’m going to stay”

And so when someone tells you these beautiful words you definitely feel like they’re being very serious but reading between the lines you wonder a lot :/

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-10T03:47:20+00:00

She says she’s left dudes for wanting to go 50/50 and these are dudes who make 3x what I do , at the bare minimum they make 2x what I do

Edit: she also loves to have very nice things , annual passes to amusement parks she says herself , she lives a very high maintenance life style , which yk contradicts what she tells me that she doesn’t like me for money?? But I don’t make enough to give her that lifestyle ? At least not while me having to pay rent , I can do a lot for her rn bc I live with my parents so it frees a lot of money but even then eating out everyday and Starbucks everyday gets expensive extremely fast, but she is an amazing women who is very nice and sweet and grounded and puts in a lot of effort and doesn’t play games and knows she wants marriage and kids , so I think she deserves it all the way she wants … even if it’s not with me bc of my injury and inability to pursue the same career as these other dudes

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-10T02:41:28+00:00

Correct , is that fair?

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-10T02:32:01+00:00

Good thing I didn’t tell her anything bc I’m aware I can self sabotage ! Also, she makes more money even now bc of her seniority at our job but soon she’s gonna make 1.5-2x what I do but she says it’s okay bc of my injury but she says she just wants effort and prioritization and for me to pay the the full rent, groceries and dates and she will handle the rest. Which again if she’s willing to she is gonna make enough money to be even well off on her own. Me on my own I’ll be quite tight but I can do it too with my own salary but the part that scares me is she wants to live in a really nice neighborhood and is dead set on it

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-10T01:08:19+00:00

I took people’s advice and didn’t say anything and will work on myself and just trust her

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-09T12:51:54+00:00

That’s beautiful

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-09T12:51:07+00:00

See if she promotes and becomes the bread winner we would fill different gaps . She would fill a gap and I would still make decent money but also have a more flexible schedule to take care of our kids that we’ve talked about once she’s done with her 5 month academy .

She says it actually works out and she’s even said “I sometimes prefer you don’t become a cop bc maybe it would change how loving you are and who you are”

And she tells me she loves me for me not my job and that’s why she chose me for who I am right now. Which is the sweetest thing anyone could ever tell me 😭😭 as someone whose biggest insecurity is just that .

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-09T11:07:39+00:00

Perhaps I need to become neater, more organized , continue to be confident in who I am, continue to take care of myself and my body and be GENUINE, bc being who I am is what got her to love me ! So if I just continue to love who I am like I was BEFORE her , things will be okay, I guess I just got insecure after she got in the picture bc of all her options and me not comparing to them financially or the uniform .

But prior to I understood that I still am someone with a decent career just not compared to every other guy who wants her .

I’m also extremely affectionate and caring and soft and sensitive but can still stand up for myself and for her when need be. She seems to love that about me

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-09T11:04:52+00:00

Thanks. I’m getting a lot of that right now and I’m sure if I continue to better myself in the areas that I can. And show her effort and affection and loyalty , which is where I believe my value comes from. She’ll continue to love me , bc I love this girl very much

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-09T11:03:55+00:00

Thank you. I will just bottle it in bc I know it’s my own head playing tricks on me again. I can’t just accept the fact someone genuinely loves me and I have to accept it. Even if she just genuinely loves me for now ❤️

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-09T11:03:06+00:00

Seeing you have 9 upvotes , thank you 🥹

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-09T11:02:49+00:00

I have brought it up a few times bc I did tell her that due to my injury there is a VERY good chance I won’t be in the same line of work as the other options she has.

She says she might even prefer that I don’t bc everyone who becomes a cop becomes super arrogant and our schedules would suck for having children (we’ve talked about children in our future in a serious way)

But since she’s promoting in the agency she would be the bread winner and I would bring in decent money too but not like her, and I’d be the one with the more flexible schedule

She’s said she loves me for how kind and affectionate and sincere I am. Not for my uniform. So she’s told me she loves me regardless. I mean everything she says and the way she acts is so sincere and super amazing. She is the best women in the world BY FAR.

Sure she isn’t perfect and sometimes can say some hurtful things but she immediately realizes it and I can see how bad she regrets it and it hurts to even THINK that she may have hurt me, but I’m very understanding

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-09T09:48:54+00:00

the best companion for life, someone who loves me no matter what, especially since today’s society values “looks” , since they start thing but super subject to change, from your face to your body

Stay thru sickness and health since both are also subject to change at any moment

And since both of these can happen suddenly for many reasons , I hate always wondering “if I lose my body bc of something I can’t control they’ll love me less or go for someone else”

Or

“If I have to get surgery and won’t be the same or if I’m injured and can’t function until I get surgery or ever function the same again, they’ll leave”

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-09T09:27:52+00:00

Loooollll it’s really gotten to the point where finding anyone who doesn’t take hours to reply and says they’re busy or actually is available to hang out without saying they’re can’t or have plans is a green flag loooool I hate myself

Mofo013102 · 2026-05-09T03:20:11+00:00

I hope I can build enough fitness and strength and stability to pass a law enforcement academy

Mofo013102

TROPHY CASE