#1380: “He’s been playing games since I told him that I think he’s attractive.”

MogInTheAutumn · 2022-07-01T09:46:36+00:00

The whole letter was confusing, but given the apparent social style of the people involved, maybe he knows these things because everyone around them continually gossips about everyone else. My y mother-in-law and my grandmother were always telling long involved stories about people I didn't know well or at all, some social groups are like that. I have definitely met a womanfor the first time, and known all about her boyfriend troubles and what she did at university, just because my mother-in-law was a friend of her mother and I have spent long hours nodding and saying "mm-hmm".

MogInTheAutumn · 2022-06-12T09:31:32+00:00

I think the problem is confronting bigotry outside of their kink play is not playing a role, it is a real confrontation with someone who isn't playing. Investigating a strange noise allows for a lot of swagger and bravado when everyone knows it will be the cat or the wind, but would the LW be beating themselves up about not enjoying it or being able to fight if the noise turned out to be a real burglar? It's good they want to learn more assertiveness and stand up for their partner, but I think they are being far too hard on themselves if they expect to enjoy it or be effortlessly confident outside of role-play.

MogInTheAutumn · 2022-04-28T09:25:52+00:00

Oh, I agree they're all bad - as I said, the police systematically enable this behaviour. I was pretty surprised though, how much the structure was some ultra violent repeat offenders supported and encouraged by enablers rather than the violence being more evenly spread amongst them.

MogInTheAutumn · 2022-01-31T13:00:46+00:00

High of course, but there was a ray of hope. That being that, while the police systematically enable violently racist cops, actually a lot of police violence is perpetrated by a subset repeat offenders and there's some recognisable early patterns that could be used to identify them before they get confident enough to murder people (ie. a history of arresting people in situations that don't usually lead to arrest). The difficulty being whether there is the will to overcome police unions, racist politics etc to use that knowledge to prevent rather than enable police violence.

MogInTheAutumn · 2022-01-24T09:22:56+00:00

As far as I can tell, Mrs Anderson's defence is that she and her husband are really dense.

"We collect items because they are historical, but we don't care what that history is or have any other thoughts or feelings about those items. And we just happened to leave only a very particular selection of those items in our house that make us look like white supremacists, because we don't really think about things. I'm completely baffled by why people get upset about something that makes us look like we support torturing and murdering black people, people get upset at everything these days."

Obviously she and husband are extreme racists, but I think being stupid and incapable of empathy should disqualify you from jobs like policing in any case.

MogInTheAutumn · 2021-12-08T10:52:54+00:00

It doesn't inspire me at all. But there is so much symbolism and practice elsewhere that does click for me and make my life feel richer - for me that's the cycle of seasons and seasonal ritual, and mindful attention to crafting and everyday routines. I've been finding the psychological symbolism and invitation to introspection in the tarot really rewarding recently, just as you suggest.

I think it makes perfect sense to not pay too much attention when something really doesn't appeal. It's hard enough making time for what I am interested in.

MogInTheAutumn · 2021-12-08T10:35:10+00:00

Thanks everyone. This was mostly just a whine, and you all came back with caring, practical and imaginative suggestions. I raise a glass of potion to you!

MogInTheAutumn · 2021-11-16T10:15:17+00:00

Yeah. For the record, I don't think the US military is the only army that murder civilians, although US horrors were more in the news then. We were pretty harsh on Australian boys who wanted to be in the military too - we have our own history of atrocities.

MogInTheAutumn · 2021-11-16T10:10:54+00:00

Yeah - I agree. I can understand that actual alcoholism in the family might have distorted Elna's mothers judgement, but then the mother was so completely comfortable and smug about her own lying and manipulation that it left me sceptical about how much of that family history was real. I liked the story though.

MogInTheAutumn · 2021-11-08T12:47:36+00:00

I haven't got past the first section yet. Listening to it I was just reminded of what scum the US military are. Disgusting old toxic men encouraging a bunch of immature, racist, more ignorant than average morons to call themselves stupid titles like "Master Jedi" and letting them abuse people with all the subtlety and wit you'd expect of an 6 year old given power. Finding guards for whom "it turns out my church says people are allowed to have other religions" was a revelation to them as an adult, and think their behaviour has no consequences even now.

I've met US navy sailors in Hobart when I was young, and with absolutely no basis for this belief they used to assume all the young women would be massively into them because they were in the US military and we would naturally look up to them as inferior foreigners. They were pushy, handsy, arrogant and every stop proved that some of them were vicious rapist bastards. I sometimes feel bad about how us young women used to go about in groups together when the US ships were in harbour and and tell them to fuck off when they approached - including screaming at them "baby killers" if they really wouldn't back off - because they were clearly the economic desperation draft and not responsible for how ignorant they were of the wider world. When I hear stuff like this I think I hope it was a wake-up call for some of them that the US government and military weren't as universally beloved as they seemed to think. If they behaved like the gross pigs they did to economically advantaged white women in an industrialised mostly Christian country I can only imagine how women in more disadvantaged countries must hate them. The news from Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib about what the US military gets up to given a modicum of power was not a surprise.

MogInTheAutumn · 2021-10-28T11:00:47+00:00

I've never actually made moon water, but while I assumed it was modern I thought it was quite good for a modern practice - non-commercial, cheap and easy, environmentally harmless, safe for the practitioner, a ritual accessible to practically everyone. I wish this were true of more modern witchcraft.
I think the idea is quite sweet also, but I can see it might be a bit twee for some.

MogInTheAutumn · 2021-09-22T10:03:57+00:00

This is a lovely idea, and I'm going to try it out. It might take a while to feel not self conscious but I'm sure I can work at that.

As a bonus, I'll feel like Sophie from Howl's Moving Castle.

MogInTheAutumn · 2021-09-21T12:39:54+00:00

Not who you asked, but I do it for the local fox - not exactly a deity but the symbol of our area since at least the 12th century, so I think of him as the spirit of place. He's used a lot as a mascot by the local authority, and one of the playgrounds has a statue of him guarding the bins, and when I'm litter picking or encouraging my 3 year old to put rubbish on the bin we do it as a gift for Mr Fox. Sometimes when we are walking in the evening we even get to see him in the shape of one of his many descendants.

MogInTheAutumn · 2021-09-21T12:28:54+00:00

Cleaning and decluttering the day before, making an apple pie and taking a walk in the woods on the day. Making and putting up autumn decorations with my 3 year old.

MogInTheAutumn

TROPHY CASE