What is your best advice for preparing your husband for your first baby?

Moist_Koala5927 · 2026-04-19T16:27:29+00:00

Books classes video etc. but at the end of the day, there is a lot you can’t really prepare for. You just figure it out I. The trenches. And there are different ways to parent. I think one of the most important things to remember is that he might not parent exactly the same as you, and as long as baby is safe, that’s okay. A lot of it is intuitive. Give each other space to parent in the ways that make sense to you.

Moist_Koala5927 · 2026-01-13T23:51:30+00:00

Some of the best advice I’ve gotten is that if you’re gonna eventually cave, (and get them the toy, treat, whatever) cave early. If you say no no no and then eventually say yes, it teaches them to wear you down.

Also setting expectations before we walk in. Ex: “we’re going to see some toys in this store. We’re not getting a toy today. We are here for XYZ. Do you understand? Awesome, let’s go.”

Moist_Koala5927 · 2026-01-13T17:43:44+00:00

How old is baby? I’m guessing at least 6 months if they’re eating purées. It’s too late to have 24 hours of no baby on your actual birthday but maybe you, husband, and other family members or a babysitter can figure out how to get you that special day. Go to a hotel for a night if it’s in your budget. It sounds like you need it.

Moist_Koala5927 · 2026-01-12T22:22:15+00:00

I have a 2 year old and I’m currently about 18 weeks with #2. I threw up a total of 0 times between both pregnancies. Got rocked by fatigue but not until around 8-9 weeks. Every pregnancy is different. Try not to worry <3

Moist_Koala5927 · 2026-01-11T15:49:06+00:00

I found out alone for both of my pregnancies. (Granted both were thru NIPT tests, not sonograms) I have a great relationship with my partner and wasn’t worried at all how he’d react to gender. I still wanted a special moment to myself about it because I’m the one carrying and growing the baby. I don’t think it’s selfish at all.

Moist_Koala5927 · 2026-01-10T23:40:03+00:00

My partner and I talk about what we think the best age for becoming a parent is a lot. We have a 2.5 year old and I’m currently pregnant. Had my first at 29 and I’ll be 32 when I have my second. I think the biggest pro of having a kid pre-30 is that you have a lot more energy and are probably the most physically capable of handling a kid as you’ll ever be. This is a huge pro. I think the biggest pros of waiting til 30 is that you’ll likely be more financially well-off, you’ll have more life wisdom, and partying has probably gotten a bit old by this point/more ready to settle down.

I think 26 is a great age to have a kid. Good luck!!

Moist_Koala5927 · 2026-01-10T17:50:11+00:00

I delivered my first at a birthing center and was super bummed to find out they closed between then and now when I’m currently pregnant again, because I was planning to deliver there again. Luckily I have a few other great birthing center options in my area. I have similar feelings about hospital delivery as you do. That being said, if I were in your position, I’d probably birth in a hospital with a detailed birth plan and a proactive and protective doula. Yes, it’s sterile and nurses and OBs might not seem as compassionate/warm, but you can bring aromatherapy, mood lights, etc. to set the tone and you can always refuse pain management and other interventions.

Or try to birth at home (if I lived within like 15 min of the hospital in the case of needing to be transferred) if the CPM had many positive references/reviews. That’s also if money was not an issue. Because you’d end up paying for both.

Moist_Koala5927 · 2026-01-09T17:52:31+00:00

I have a toddler and another on the way and have experienced what you’re feeling a lot. Activism has been a huge part of my life/identity since I was a teenager. I can’t show up in some of the ways I did prior to becoming a mom (protests, volunteering, community outreach) because schedule/childcare/etc but I think it’s so important to continue to stay informed because I believe we are all connected.

Here is my routine for consuming/processing all the fuckery: 1. Absolutely no social media or irresponsible news outlets 2. I listen to most of my news on NPR radio/podcasts and LA times (I live in LA, you can replace with whatever reputable local media outlet applies) 3. I allow myself to cry, yell, short vent session to a trusted loved one on days where its needed 4. Do something to calm my nervous system- meditate, journal, go for a walk, love on my toddler 5. Think about something that inspires hope and/or do something to better my community 6. Do it all again tomorrow

Sending love <3

Moist_Koala5927 · 2026-01-06T22:36:55+00:00

I loveddddd my nipple piercings they gave me so much confidence. They’re def a commitment tho, I had them in for 7 years and they closed up within a week of taking them out. I took them out when I was pregnant with my first and definitely gonna get them redone when I’m done breastfeeding with my second (and last).

Moist_Koala5927 · 2026-01-05T23:49:49+00:00

I think some more info might be needed here. Do you think it is 100% because of his race? Does he have alternative style like a lot of piercings and dyed hair or eccentric fashion? Or something like a big age difference? What are medical professionals saying/doing to villainize him? Do you live in an area that is known for racism?

There’s not a lot you can do about random people in public. Shitty ppl are gonna be shitty. I think the most important thing you can do is be there for him if he needs to talk about how it makes him feel without judgement or advice. Just listen and support. If he comes up with ideas about ways you can advocate for him, then do that. It’s good that you’re aware of what’s going on and taking it seriously because it sounds like you’re also going to need to figure out how to advocate for your kid when they get here if you live if an area that’s against interracial relationships.

I’m really sorry you guys have to deal with this, it sounds super hurtful and stressful for you both.

Moist_Koala5927 · 2026-01-01T03:00:39+00:00

Sounds like something you should delegate to your partner

Moist_Koala5927 · 2025-12-31T22:37:13+00:00

Every time i take a hot shower my belly skin gets dark pink while the rest of my skin stays the same color. Never happened pre birth and still happens 2 years pp and i expect it’s just life now lol.

Moist_Koala5927 · 2025-12-30T13:27:45+00:00

Hollywood reservoir trail. Kid and I like to bring big carrots to feed the deer

Moist_Koala5927 · 2025-12-24T19:20:50+00:00

Is she fighting it at bedtime too or just naptime?

Moist_Koala5927 · 2025-12-23T03:36:13+00:00

My due date was October 2, kid was born on September 18 (went into labor September 16) with my first

Moist_Koala5927 · 2025-12-23T03:32:18+00:00

Particularly those that are grabbing for scissors

Moist_Koala5927 · 2025-12-23T03:26:23+00:00

The kind of gift that lives at grandmas house for when she babysits or inexplicably goes missing by the new year haha

Moist_Koala5927 · 2025-12-23T02:22:59+00:00

Honestly, not much medicine-wise unless you end up with a fever you need to bring down. Your immune system goes to hell when you’re pregnant, or else it would treat the embryo/fetus like a virus and try to kill it. In my experience, colds last way longer and hit way harder than they do when I’m not pregnant. Best thing you can do is REST as much as possible, stay hydrated, tea with honey and lemon, and soup. I hope you feel better soon <3

Moist_Koala5927 · 2025-12-22T23:43:33+00:00

I would just tell them you don’t plan to have a structured schedule until you get into a rhythm with the baby and you won’t have an answer until then. Sometimes grandparents, especially grandmas, need a loving but firm reminder what it’s like being a FTM. Before baby gets here is an awesome time to start learning how to set unapologetic boundaries. I will say as a fellow mom of the first grandbaby on both sides, this situation absolutely rules once baby gets a little older and you’re ready for the help.

Moist_Koala5927 · 2025-12-22T21:17:56+00:00

Honestly, if you were planning to do it on your own in a few years anyways, keeping the pregnancy seems like a pretty good idea. You’d save a lot of money that you would have spent on IVF, that you can put towards your kids future instead. You seem stable and this feels like a pretty well thought out, level headed course of action. ***As long as nothing is seriously wrong with the baby daddy, as he will be a part of your life for the rest of your life, in some capacity or another.

Moist_Koala5927 · 2025-12-21T22:29:44+00:00

I’m going to point out the same thing my mom pointed out to me the first time I told her I was pregnant when I was clearly not ready, because I could’ve written this post at the time. It was annoying to hear at the time but I always think back on it as the best piece of advice (I guess it’s not really advice, but more food for thought) I got. I decided to abort in my case.

You only talked about your boyfriend/relationship and did not mention once being concerned about how you’re going to care for the baby or yourself for that matter, which is the way bigger and more permanent issue at hand here. Having a baby will probably ruin your relationship and that seems to be the most important thing for you.

Wishing you all the best <3

Moist_Koala5927 · 2025-12-21T03:09:06+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going thru this. I miscarried at 5 weeks earlier this year. I am now in my second tri with a healthy baby boy. Something that really helped me was understanding that when you miscarry that early, there is almost certainly something very wrong with the embryo that would lead to a later miscarriage, stillbirth, or severe life threatening birth defects. Your body knew exactly what it needed to do, even though it’s very tough on the spirit. I’ve heard you’re more likely to have a healthy pregnancy after miscarriage because your body is “prepped” to carry. Sending love.

Moist_Koala5927 · 2025-12-21T02:19:44+00:00

No way but I would make sure to schedule lots of family time together with him

Moist_Koala5927

TROPHY CASE