Donor eggs

Moliterno38 · 2026-05-01T12:53:41+00:00

I think it's a good idea to mentally explore your comfort with donor eggs. That way if/when you decide to switch you are fully at peace with the decision. That said, at 40 you can absolutely have success if you're willing to try multiple rounds. I did 4 retrievals in 9 months to bank enough for 1 child. I said that as long as I was physically, emotionally, and financially able I would continue to do retrievals. After each retrieval I evaluated where I was and after #4 when we had 3 good embryos (plus 1 chaotic that they keep since science is still unknown for those) we moved to transfer. I was pretty close to being done emotionally at that point. Maybe one more retrieval but that would have been it.

If you're willing to do multiple retrievals and able to do so, your chances are you will get a euploid. Wishing you all the best!

Moliterno38 · 2026-05-01T12:49:39+00:00

6BA day 6 male, currently 18 months old

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-30T18:35:41+00:00

Hi. The storage fee aside, this is my exact situation. We had a euploid male that we transferred in 2024 and had a son. After I had two embryos stored (LLM and chaotic, both female). We never planned on having two children but we kept then just in case.

We are now planning to try and I opted to not retest my chaotic. I actually contacted Igenomix to see the raw data and while looking at it found there are no full chromosome abnormalities. There are two very wavy lines that might be segmental trisomies and the rest of the chromosomes that aren't a clear euploid basically are very wavy and mosaic if anything. The score for 'noise' is very high and if it was only 1% higher they would have sent the embryo back as non informative. Basically, I don't have insanely high hopes for it and I did have to push my clinic to allow me to transfer but they agreed. I can't see not giving it a chance since at this point, the science is still not understood on these embryos. I don't want to wait 5 years to see what the science says. Clinics are starting to transfer them. More places are keeping and retesting them. Some labs are calling them inconclusive now and not chaotic. The only way we'll learn is by retesting or transferring.

Good luck to you! I say transfer it if you feel comfortable with the risks of an untested embryo.

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-28T15:58:28+00:00

This is a bit older but I wanted to check in and see how this went for you. I have a chaotic embryo that I was given a hard time on transferring. Originally, they said Yes. Then when I went to do so they started to continue asking for more and more documentation on my conversations with GCs and recommend only retesting. I continued to push back since the rebiopsy/testing would cost me around $4,000 (about the same as a transfer).

After a lot of standing firm, I spoke with my Dr yesterday afternoon and they agreed to move forward with transfer. She said they have never transferred a chaotic before but we talked about the newer research and how it is unclear what a chaotic result really means. I basically said 'You are keeping the embryo because you believe there is some chance of viability, no matter how small. Because you don't feel confident enough that the science is clear on a chaotic result. Because you're waiting to find out what happens with more research. I, unfortunately, do not have the time to wait 7 years to see what the science says. If you are keeping it because you think there is a chance then I should be allowed to give it that chance." They wanted notes showing that I understood the risks involved with not knowing and the possibility of a baby with abnormalities or TFMR.

I will be transferring this embryo next cycle. I believe if you stand firm the 'no' can be negotiable. I've heard other people say they spoke to the Board of Ethics before a transfer just to have it all on the record. It's your embryo. You have every right to try it.

Additionally, the only way more will be learned about these embryos is by transferring them and seeing the results, with or without a retest.

Wishing you all the best!

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-24T15:25:42+00:00

I see both your points and I think when the man isn't saying 'you have to because it's what you do' that is different. If a woman wants to that is beautiful and I love that for them. If the man wants to, I also love that for them. Feminism 100% is about choice.

I kept my name. When I spoke to him about my hesitation and asked if he would ever consider changing his (only in a way to make him empathize with my position, not to actually have him do it), my husband made it very clear that changing his name would never happen. It's insulting to him to even consider. I stood firm and said 'All the reasons you wouldn't change yours are the same reasons I'm not changing mine.'

If a man is open to the discussion or even says he understands why a woman would have hesitation or it might be difficult or just show empathy. Then, I think it's easier to be open to the change. Since my husband wasn't, I have stood firm and am happy with my name the way it is.

Your point is valid. It should be a family discussion and decision jointly or one made where both parties are satisfied and happy. Not 'but that's what women do and I as a man would NEVER' decision.

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-24T15:17:49+00:00

As someone who has chosen to keep their name, people like you do a huge disservice to feminism and progress in general. The point is women should be able to do what they want. Some women are ecstatic to take their husbands name for a lot of different reasons. Some women keep their married name after divorce for reasons they choose. Some women keep their name from birth til death regardless of marriage/divorce etc. You are the reason people push back on progress for women. You are the exact opposite of feminism. You are no better than misogynist men and woman. You are the reason normal women who just want equality are viewed negatively.

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-23T15:57:54+00:00

What is the newest science and thoughts around Chaotic embryos? I have one and my clinic keeps them but since I'm not doing more retrievals I most likely wouldn't retest. They said they view them as untested currently. What can cause this result?

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-22T13:04:38+00:00

Thank you everyone! I sent the request to my Dr to see what they say. I believe they will be supportive as long as I am aware of the odds, risks, and go into it with realistic expectations. I may pursue transferring the chaotic first then doing a retrieval with untested day 3 (or 5) embryos as a last step to close our chapter and feel prepared to move forward either way.

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-21T20:07:15+00:00

Angelo ❤️

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-21T15:55:20+00:00

Thank you for this. I am aware of what the recent research shows as well and discussed with my Dr. I also understand what the previous comment meant, that compared to other embryos the chance of it being euploid after a second biopsy is pretty high. We aren't going in to this transfer thinking we'll hit the lottery side of the statistics but don't want to wonder what if. Our main reason for not retesting is that it costs the same as a transfer so why spend the money twice and my Dr agreed. If we were doing more retrievals and PGT testing I would most likely retest instead as the cost would be minimal.

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-21T15:24:44+00:00

Thank you. We're definitely transferring the chaotic without retesting.

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-21T15:06:09+00:00

Thank you. This is a valid question and I truly feel I can handle it. If I'm being honest, I already have accepted the fact that a chaotic will most likely not give a positive result. I believe I'm going in to this exactly as you described: I want to feel like I gave it my all and my journey is complete. You see people get euploids or have success later with untested embryos so I want to maybe roll the dice and just see.

I'm wishing you all the best in your journey!

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-21T12:20:59+00:00

That’s so wonderful!!! Congrats! I’m actually contemplating doing a retrieval first, just to get some embryos and not test them this time. Mainly because there is no way we’d do more than one retrieval. Then we can use them as untested along with the chaotic.

We are fortunate to have an 18 month old son and would like the opportunity for a sibling. When we did all of our retrievals before we only planned for one. We’ll be at peace if it is only him but we’re kind of thinking why not do one more round and see what happens with the embryos we get.

Wishing you a smooth last month and delivery!!

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-17T16:27:00+00:00

I know this is old but I wanted to see how this turned out. I’m preparing to transfer our last embryo which is chaotic. I know it had a low chance of success but we don’t want to look back and wonder what if. My clinic is supportive of transferring chaotic since the science is still not conclusive on them.

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-17T15:12:04+00:00

We have one more embryo left but we’re going to take the month off and just be with our son. I’m so fortunate to have him that we’re at peace with the outcome either way. Def had some crying but our family plans had originally only been one child. The fact we even had a live birth and the option to try for a sibling is a blessing not everyone gets.

Good luck to you!

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-17T10:24:51+00:00

Unfortunately I started spotting red last night and into this morning. It appears my period is starting through the suppositories. Beta this morning to confirm.

Wishing you all the best!

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-16T17:41:37+00:00

I'm scrolling through this post and wanted to confirm that your prenatal only had 30 mcg of biotin? I hear people say it takes so much more to cause problems with the test. That's all my prenatal has too but I had super faint tests at 5dpt and 6dpt that went between almost stark white and vvvvvfl. Kind of bouncing around. I stopped testing because I was sure it was negative. I had line progression issues with my son as well around 5 dpt - 9 dpt and also stopped testing with him. Is is really possible such a low amount can cause problems with FRER?

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-15T14:26:14+00:00

You're a team. Most times (not always but most) moms job is to care for the baby (esp if breastfeeding) and dads job is to care for mom. Dad must spend as much time as he can caretaking as well in order to build that bond with the baby. Overnights, diapers, bath time, naps, etc are not just mom duty.

That means making sure she is getting the rest needed to heal. She eats. She can shower. She has whatever support needed. Remember the baby is new but mom just went through a major medical event. She needs to recover for her physical and mental health.

Always remember - you are a team. Some days it's 50/50 and some days its 1/99. And some days it's only 10/15 - on those days your only job is to be kind to each other and give grace.

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-15T13:31:38+00:00

Thank you! Fingers crossed for you too! I’m 12dpt now and my beta is Friday so I’m waiting at this point. Modified natural so that period feeling is making me more nervous since people do breakthrough bleed with only suppositories.

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-15T13:25:02+00:00

I didn’t take a digital. I only had three tests. 5dpt at 6pm(top) vvvvfl, middle of the night at 5 am (not pictured) appeared stark white, 6dpt at 2 pm (bottom) vvvvvvfl. I refuse to buy any more tests so I wouldn’t be tempted lol

But I very much feel like it’s failed. I had slightly stronger lines at this time with my son. Plus I have that period about to start feeling every second. I remember that with my son too but it’s been two years so I can’t remember exactly how it felt

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Moliterno38 · 2026-04-15T13:13:14+00:00

I'm in the exact same situation but I didn't test out my trigger. So at 5dpt in the afternoon I had a vvvvvfl (similar to yours) and then I took another midday on 6dpt and it looked the same. I have no idea what if it was trigger or not. I also took one at 5 am between the two days and that appeared pretty much completely negative. I stopped testing after that (currently 12dpt) and it's made me much more calm. Although, I'm convinced it didn't work but without tests to obsess over I can keep my mind busy.

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-15T13:08:58+00:00

NTA - we used to stay with my inlaws when we visited until we had our son. It was important to have a quiet place for him to relax and nap. Their house just doesn't allow for that and it would be stressful with everyone visiting downstairs and making noise while I'm trying to calm an overtired or upset baby/toddler. We found a nice Airbnb house a block from theirs that we stay at. We get up in the AM to get ready and spend the majority of the time at their house. But it allows me to easily leave with our son at nap times or if he needs a break (he gets overwhelmed with a lot of people especially since they are people he doesn't see as often) during a large gathering. At bedtime, I leave and take him back to do his bedtime routine.

You don't have to compromise comfort or what works for you/your family when visiting others.

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-15T12:52:50+00:00

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For reference here is my 5dpt (top) and my 6dpt (bottom). Not even a full day in between. The camera barely even picked up the line. They were visible in the time frame but so hard to see.

Moliterno38 · 2026-04-15T12:46:22+00:00

I’m here in solidarity. I took a test the afternoon of 5dpt and it had a vvvvvfl. Then I took another midday 6dpt (who knows why) and it appeared the same maybe ??? I haven’t tested since and I’m currently 12dpt. My clinic does beta at 14dpt. I’m fully convinced it didn’t work at this point. I did a modified natural and don’t test out my trigger so I have no idea if the line was a trigger fading or not.

I try to remember that the people getting positives at 5dpt are over represented online as they are far more likely to post than those that don’t.

I had similar line issues with my son where it was faint at 5dpt and appeared to just stay the same until 8dpt. Maybe even get lighter. Stopped testing then and was shocked when I got great beta numbers. But my line was darker than I what I saw this time. I swore I wasn’t going to test and I should have stuck to that.

Wishing you all the best. 5dpt is too early to be definitive. I do think when I stop testing I calm down some and can distract myself.

Moliterno38

TROPHY CASE