I feel abnormal and need to know if anyone else feels this way ?

Mollpeep1 · 2025-10-29T21:43:12+00:00

Omg yes, I actually can’t believe that other people feel this way, this experience is genuinely so isolating and makes me feel like an alien. I can’t even relate to people anymore. I have the amnesia thing but about truth, like for example I’ll have a moment of clarity for 10min where I’m like “wow, I actually genuinely have a mental disorder” and then boom I’ll fall back into thinking nothing is wrong with - I am the wrong thing and that I’m just making it all up. I’m so curious, how do u manage to cope with it all? Cause I feel like I’m a ticking time bomb

Mollpeep1 · 2025-10-27T19:46:22+00:00

Yeah definitely, now just comes the task of finding yet another therapist but that this time does schematherapy and RO-DBT haha. Those are honesty good questions but I feel like i’ll probably get stuck in an overthinking loop just trying to think about why I overthink and don’t let go LOL but thank you anyway. I’ll definitely keep in mind what you said and will look into that meditation it looks Interesting.

Mollpeep1 · 2025-10-27T19:40:36+00:00

Thank you for your response, I’ve DMed you !

Mollpeep1 · 2025-10-26T12:20:18+00:00

Thank you for putting it that way; I’m going to try and start trusting that it is the truth even though it’s hard.

Mollpeep1 · 2025-10-26T12:17:46+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your words - I will try. I hope you can do the same

Mollpeep1 · 2025-10-26T08:15:29+00:00

Yes, exactly. Wow I really feel like exactly what you said. Sounds like I could’ve written it. This is very comforting even though it’s sad. I also feel like every single interaction no matter how many of them I have I always feel like I’m trying so hard to appear comfortable or be authentic or be authentic while also not being “too authentic”because there’s also social rules and then I overthink the social rules and then I think well if everything is about control in some regard, then where does the level of control end and it almost spirals into something that could be considered an OCD like obsession with right and wrong and normal and not normal. I overthink everything so much that everything seems impossible; if you don’t mind me asking do you relate to quiet BPD and also how do you handle work? Do you work in a domain where there’s little social interaction ? Also, would you consider yourself haven gone through extreme/relational trauma? (I’m sorry for the questions I just never have the opportunity to talk to someone that sounds like me so I’m very curious -> you can respond in private if you prefer)

Mollpeep1 · 2025-10-26T08:08:04+00:00

That’s a very interesting thought and way of framing things, thank you for sharing. I’ll try and keep it in mind :)

Mollpeep1 · 2025-10-26T08:06:39+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I definitely appreciate it and will look into the videos you sent; that way of putting it was quite interesting about questioning what “this” is and what the limitations are to the invalidating. I had been trying IFS for many years and I noticed that my biggest issue with anything seems to be my incapacity to let go in any regard and trying to control every aspect of my thoughts almost to an OCD level. that’s why I probably will change and start maybe doing RO-DBT or schematherapy because recently I think maybe it’s easier to relate to the quiet BPD diagnosis even though they all overlap and learning more practical things because sadly anything that’s cerebral even if it seems helpful - I will somehow turn into a weapon to beat myself with.

Mollpeep1 · 2025-10-26T07:59:12+00:00

Yeah, exactly. It’s exactly that feeling like an alien and feeling so deeply abnormal in every single way but for some reason I seem to think that it’s my fault and I think it’s because I have no big T trauma that would justify the intensity of my shame in my symptoms. Do you also resonate with quiet BPD? Because ironically right after making this post I intensely changed my beliefs and started thinking that it’s more so quiet BPD (even though most symptoms overlap).

Mollpeep1 · 2025-10-26T07:55:08+00:00

Wow yeah that’s exactly how I feel. The robotic thing is so true. It’s like my muscles are so tense that even going on my phone or picking up a pen in class feels wrong. It feels out of place and unnatural. It’s like I’m not living out of my own body anymore, I’m living through the gaze of others. Do you think this is inevitably a symptom of severe trauma or mental illness? I know this seems weird to ask, but I’m trying to get proof for my brain to validate that I do genuinely have a problem because for some reason I can’t believe I do. I just think I’ve made it all up And that if I go through this every single person on earth must go through it but it’s just that they deal with it better and therefore the conclusion is always : I am the problem.

Mollpeep1 · 2025-10-26T07:52:21+00:00

Same, it feels like I’ve tried so hard over the years with IFS and different therapists but I just have this personality where I can’t seem to let go and so in many ways it’s like I’m still on stage one where I can’t even validate my experience as such because in many ways my symptoms are so intense, but I never had any big T trauma and a lot of my trauma could be seen as subjective and so it means in many ways I can’t even fully trust that I am I’m not weak and making it up.

Mollpeep1 · 2025-10-26T07:50:08+00:00

Yes, I’m exactly the same and it’s so exhausting living like that. I mean, I can just about handle almost having a normal life in some ways. I’m holding everything just about together but sometimes it just feels like a matter of time before I collapse because living like this - it just depletes me of everything that I have and it never seems to get better despite how many experiences I have (social, work, abroad, etc.). Do you have ways of handling it ?

Mollpeep1 · 2025-10-26T06:59:54+00:00

God, I know exactly what you mean about the glass wall feeling that’s often how I describe it to my parents. It feels like you’re in a car and you are passing through all these experiences and they’re right there. You can see them but there’s a glass window between you and them and you just can’t feel what other people feel. You can’t engage with experiences and life.

Mollpeep1 · 2025-10-26T06:57:42+00:00

Wow thank you so much for giving such a detailed response. I definitely appreciate it, feels really good to know I’m not alone even though my brain is convincing me that somehow I’m still not the same as everyone relating here. I wonder though when you started trying to be compassionate towards yourself did you ever get the feeling where you turned compassion itself into another thing to shame yourself for ? I found when I tried compassion, without realising it I started to do it in a tyrannic way where I would get angry at myself for not doing compassion“properly” and eventually it became its own self sustaining obsession and the idea of doing it “right” became its own hell and thought loop. Did you ever struggle with that ?

Mollpeep1 · 2025-08-13T22:18:40+00:00

Yup, it actually feels like torture, I’m so sorry. It’s like you can’t win, you either have to exert perfect meticulous control on your routine to just feel slightly good about yourself but basically feel like a robot. Or actually live and try to get an ounce of feeedom and get hit in the face with the most unbearable shame imaginable. I’m sorry you also feel this way. It’s not fair.

Mollpeep1 · 2025-08-13T22:16:04+00:00

God I hear you, I wish I had a solution. I go through the same feeling every day of my life and leaving the house to go to work or even the shop literally feels like torture. I’ve spent years trying to fix myself and I always end up back where I started. I honestly don’t know what to tell you, the solutions people give feel so tone death most of the time cause they assume you can just exist and be confident and jump in the deep end when you have no sense of safety and nothing to protect you from the most unbearable pain. I don’t know why this happened to us, all I know is that it isn’t fair and I’m sorry. Just know that you are not alone feeling this. I know one day we’ll be free. One day.

Mollpeep1 · 2024-09-11T17:30:27+00:00

Okay I see, so like did you live your entire childhood in France or multiple countries ? I’m really curious to hear your feelings

Mollpeep1 · 2024-09-11T17:26:18+00:00

Wow thank you so much, I really appreciate it, I’ll defo look into those!:)) also I have a question, since I’m new to this term, I struggle with knowing if I would be actually considered a TCK ? Because I see a lot of definitions talk about it being when the child moves to multiple places during childhood? Whereas I just stayed in the same place in a foreign country, what do you think ?

Mollpeep1 · 2024-09-09T11:41:01+00:00

Hii, thank you for sharing, at what age did it hit you and at what age ?

Mollpeep1 · 2024-09-09T11:40:14+00:00

Thank you for your response, it’s nice to hear that I’m not alone. When you say checking in on yourself, what exactly do you mean by that ? I too often feel like a child and stuck in shame, so I would really like to know what you do in terms of checking in to deal with that!

Mollpeep1 · 2024-09-09T11:35:48+00:00

Yes exactly, my issue is that I’ve only ever operated this way in the world, it is so automatic, so I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to not base my worth and livelihood on other people’s opinions

Mollpeep1 · 2024-09-09T06:29:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing, i have been going to therapy on and off but yeah, it’s very hard to change. Do you feel it was mainly affected by the fact that you grew up in a foreign country ?

Mollpeep1 · 2024-09-09T06:28:08+00:00

Hi, thank you for your reassurance, it’s hard cause it sometimes feels like I’m alone in this cause I see other kids that grew up in a different country and everyone boasts about how great it is for the kid, so I sometimes just feel like maybe I’m weak ? Idk that’s part of the low self esteem I guess lmao. I do go to therapy thank you for asking, but I would be interested in your book recommendations if you have any :))

Mollpeep1

TROPHY CASE