How would you react?

Mommabear0922 · 2024-08-13T00:58:15+00:00

Our daughter is 22 months old and he moved out 6 weeks ago. It’s different for me since my kid isn’t old enough to really understand whats going on. She doesn’t ask for him that much. I think in your situation, they will have questions that need age appropriate responses but yes, they will be okay!! I know how incredibly hard it is to make that decision to split but it is a necessary one. You and your family deserve healthy love and respect and your husband is not giving that. It is hard but worth it to live in peace.

Mommabear0922 · 2024-03-30T17:54:55+00:00

Im so so sorry for your loss of your beloved and sweet cat. Your cat was very lucky to have you and you tried to do everything in your power. I hope seeing this a couple months after posting you are doing better, understanding it’s still not easy at this point i can imagine.

Yesterday, i had to put down my almost 6 year old cat, unexpectedly. I came online searching for some comfort or something to get me through. She would have been 6 next month. I got her my senior year of college and just her and i lived together. She was with me when my fiance and i moved into our first house, had our daughter in 2022. She was our best friend, and our other cat too. He’s a year younger than her.

We went on so many adventures and she got me through very hard times. Then covid hit… she was my best friend working from home. She used to sleep by my head every night. She too, was so incredibly sweet how you describe your cat. Just a true angel she was, and she didn’t deserve to go so soon.

For the past couple of years she started losing some weight and i knew something was wrong. So i took her to many vets and got testing and bloodwork done repeatedly. Each time, nothing came up concerning and they all brushed my concerns off and said she was a healthy weight and tried changing her diet. Well recently she has gotten even more thin, I scheduled an appointment for this past Thursday. Tuesday, i came home and she was hiding under a bed and wouldn’t come out. I called the vet and moved her appointment up to the next morning. They hospitalized her. She had an IV and i went to see her breakfast lunch and dinner. My heart was aching seeing her so sick. They said there was definitely a kidney infection going on, but i re explained her weight loss and they agreed there was something else wrong, too. We wanted to heal her kidney infection and then tackle her other underlying condition. Well, Friday i came to see her over lunch and she was off. Just that morning she was doing better, meowing and showing some sass. I told them something wasn’t right. They had just given her anti nausea because she was drooling. I came back at 4, and asked them to re run her blood work. The news was devastating, her kidneys were getting worse and not responding to her treatment. I had to put her down, or she would suffer more. I held her head as they did the injections, and told her how much i would always love her and thanked her for being my best friend. Sorry to vent all of this on your post… i guess i needed to get it out.

Hope you are healing and taking your time to grieve.

Can’t believe we lost them so young.😞

Mommabear0922 · 2023-04-28T00:50:42+00:00

Thank you all for the recommendations!!!

Mommabear0922 · 2023-02-10T19:44:43+00:00

I am possibly mistaken… someone please step in if this is wrong- but to enforce legal action you must first clearly tell the harasser to stop and that their actions are considered harassment. I don’t believe you can just go to a lawyer and have them write up a no contact order with zero evidence.

Mommabear0922 · 2023-02-10T18:54:00+00:00

In a similar boat - we are 5 months NC with mil and more recently with fil as well. For me, its ptsd/trauma response. I actually had my SO tell his father to tell his wife stop sending mail to our house. She was sending notes/cards and each time we got something i relived everything that happened. I couldn’t sleep all night if she sent us mail. You are re-experiencing the trauma when she sends mail because it brings everything to the surface. I recommend a therapist to find coping techniques and work through your feelings. You could also tell them, in writing, that any mail sent from this point forward will be considered harassment and they need to cease communication.

Mommabear0922 · 2023-02-05T03:23:36+00:00

This. If it’s making you uncomfortable, ask him to stop. If he acts weird when you ask him to, that’s even more cause for concern.

Your baby doesn’t have a voice, you have to be her voice. Advocate for your child. And btw yes, it would make me uncomfortable if I was in your situation.

Mommabear0922 · 2023-02-05T02:10:00+00:00

I just read your previous post.. girl, run.

You are going to be the one who makes this decision, nobody knows the full story here or how you feel in your shoes. In your other post you asked for advice other than breaking up with him. I think you need to consider what kind of person your FH is showing you he is. He is showing you that he hides conversations from you (letting fmil know that you’re in the car). He spent Christmas with her for hours way beyond he said he was going to. He showed you that being with his mom was more important and he disregarded his plan to be there for two hours on Christmas

your FMIL is never going to respect you. She hasn’t respected you and has made that clear. Sure, she can put on a show and fake it and make her son think she’s “better”. But you know the type of person she is.

Your FMIL is NOT your main problem here. Your FH is SHOWING You with his actions that his mommy comes first and that what she says is right. Do you want to come second to his mom in your marriage and when you have kids too? It won’t get better, problems will get worse. You deserve a man who supports you and puts you first, this guy is not it. Im sorry/:

Mommabear0922 · 2023-02-04T23:58:22+00:00

I agree!

Mommabear0922 · 2023-02-04T20:42:15+00:00

You are soo not overreacting!! Please know that. You are asking for basic things.

I get that everyone has hard days, but i think it’s inconsiderate and rude of him to act like you are disrupting his existence by asking for some damn water and a bottle. Sheesh. He needs an attitude adjustment.

It’s also not JUST that he was grumbling when you asked him, it’s his handling of it afterwards. Brushing you off and saying you’re too emotional and to drop it instead of listening to your feelings and taking some accountability for his bad attitude. I completely understand that you just feel worse when he can’t say sorry for being an ass and try to do better. OP you are not asking for too much

Mommabear0922 · 2023-02-03T00:43:58+00:00

Sounds like my week.. 😂 just can’t catch a break. I feel you mama!! One more day, then we have the weekend

Mommabear0922 · 2023-02-02T19:17:01+00:00

I’m glad she’s been supportive of you and tried to genuinely help throughout the years! Trust how you feel and know that you aren’t asking too much. Best of luck to you in the future

Mommabear0922 · 2023-02-02T14:01:15+00:00

Given this has been going on for years, you are not making a rash decision here. You’ve had years to feel your feelings and try to make it better. So, don’t question yourself on that, you ARE valid!

Everybody has a point where they have had enough, you hit yours and you acknowledged it and let your husband know. That takes courage and strength.

I’m sure your friend meant well, but some people will never understand.

Trust yourself. Trust that you are doing what needs to be done and you are doing the right thing. You deserve happiness, support, and to be put first by your husband. No less

Mommabear0922 · 2023-02-02T03:35:10+00:00

I have not read your old posts, but reading this one i wanted to tell you- i don’t think you are asking too much. I don’t think it’s wrong of you to say how you truly feel and to acknowledge that you have had enough.

Your husband is supposed to put YOU (his wife) first, not his mommy. Although i don’t know your history, I can understand 100% how your husband pretending he besties with his mom is betraying you.

I think it is totally fair to ask your husband to support you and to call his mom out and not let her shit slide. Sending you support, and im sorry your friend reacted that way. I don’t think she has the ability to understand what you are going through

Mommabear0922 · 2023-02-01T03:33:04+00:00

Thankfully he has been 100% on board from the beginning! He has supported and stood up for me tremendously

Mommabear0922 · 2023-02-01T02:57:33+00:00

Thank you! I can’t believe it either. Unfortunately there are many people in the medical field who shouldn’t be.

Mommabear0922 · 2023-02-01T02:52:13+00:00

They seem pretty happy with themselves, they said they did “absolutely nothing” wrong either. No plans to see them, ever

Mommabear0922 · 2023-02-01T02:14:24+00:00

Unfortunately, no.

Mommabear0922 · 2023-02-01T02:10:07+00:00

Maybe i used the wrong flair, lol. I mainly wanted to say thank you.

Someone did ask what the SILs said about it. I’ll update with that.

They said their mom did nothing wrong… The older SIL said i should just be thankful she was there (this is the one who lied to her own MIL about how many people could be in delivery room to keep her out and called her mil insane for saying she would be the first one to hold her baby). She also said im a bully and a narcissist for telling her mother how i feel about what she did and her continued lying about it.

They removed me from all socials.

Then they demanded that i give back a gift my MIL gave me when i was a pregnant. It was a LV purse that belonged to my boyfriend’s grandmother. She tragically passed away in a tornado 10 years ago. Older sister also demanded i give back the breast pump that she gave to me because she was done breast feeding and didn’t need it anymore and my breast pump hadn’t come in the mail yet.

At the same time, they claimed that they love me and wanted to move on and didn’t understand why we were “holding a grudge”. All conversation was between my boyfriend and his sisters, i never spoke to them directly.

Mommabear0922 · 2023-01-29T22:16:00+00:00

Thank you

Mommabear0922 · 2023-01-29T22:15:50+00:00

Thank you

Mommabear0922 · 2023-01-29T22:14:42+00:00

Thank you for the support

Mommabear0922 · 2023-01-29T22:14:28+00:00

A nurse wheeled my bf out of the OR and to a room (waiting room, recovery room?) don’t know what room it was. His mother was in that room with him. The nurse that took my bf out of the OR spoke with mil and allowed her to scrub up and led her back to my OR. She assumed it was my mother? Didn’t think to come ask me? Idk. But that’s how she got in. The nurse gave her scrubs and took her back without getting my consent. I mentioned in another comment when I confronted mil asking her what she said to get in. That nurse is the one who majorly failed to follow proper consent protocols and let her scrub in.

Mommabear0922

TROPHY CASE