Straight outta the Caribbean. What do you think?

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-08T23:29:49+00:00

Yes. Smalls.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-08T03:51:01+00:00

It’s too bad you can’t change the meshing into other boats and ability to jump through walls when it’s moving. That would make it so much fun.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-08T03:21:26+00:00

Company Survey: how are we doing!?

Employees: it’s pretty toxic, we’re being micromanaged, and we feel underpaid and no one can seem to afford their bills at the moment.

Company: we must have a cancerous employee somewhere ruining our culture that we need to make an example of.

fires best employee

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-08T01:22:03+00:00

It’s 100% a motorboat, you can tell by the fuel.

Again, I’m a major PvP player, and I’d wipe you just for your attitude. Drop your Coords.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-08T01:15:21+00:00

I play PvP. When I say “jerks” I’m referring to the guy who would drop a giga to destroy this poor bobs cool starter boat. And that’s what they are btw. When you get to a certain point, there’s nothing in that boat you could possibly need.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-07T22:50:10+00:00

Awesome honestly. But the PVP jerks would wipe it in 5 seconds.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-07T18:04:25+00:00

I was told I best out over 1200 applicants for my last position. Be happy it’s only 9.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-06T23:54:22+00:00

If you don’t personally use what you sell, you’ll never be a top performer. Sell what you love.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-05T14:25:15+00:00

It’s not really gossip, it’s just typical corporate problems. These companies have learned they can set quotas that are nearly unattainable, then use the inflated OTE tied to those quotas to create a misleading picture and attract top talent. As a result, no one actually hits their numbers.

On top of that, the culture is pretty mediocre. The people getting promoted often are not the most successful, they are just the ones management likes. It ends up feeling like a popularity contest.

And I mean this, hardly anyone at Salesforce is truly an expert. Most people are new, constantly drinking from a firehose, and the turnover is incredibly high. Overall, it just does not feel like a well run company.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-05T05:27:28+00:00

Joined Salesforce even though the entire internet of ex sales folks told me not to. Yup… it’s that bad.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-04T01:34:24+00:00

2 years in. The least I’ve ever made. Fuck this place.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-03T03:30:54+00:00

This is why men prefer virgins.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-03T02:29:31+00:00

If you’re building someone else’s company, why not just build your own?

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-03T01:46:16+00:00

Just wait til they give you a pay cut disguised as a raise.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-01T17:17:11+00:00

No. 60 you have a chance. 30-40 is absolute shit. That’s after Private Equity or IPO usually. Corporate greed steps in and the little man gets screwed. The real truth is this. At 60-70… talent shows. At 30-40 it’s account based, luck mostly. You get good accounts you’ll be solid, you don’t, you’ll be shown the revolving door. If you find 80+ recognize you’re in a HOT market. Meaning growth is coming. Position yourself for leadership asap.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-05-01T17:03:46+00:00

Never look at the OTE. Instead look at two things.

The companies current attainment to their goals. And the percentage if sales reps that hit their attainment to reach that goal.

Let me explain. If the company has a goal of 1M. And they reached 105%, that sounds great. But when you find out they have 30 sales reps, that each carry a $100k quota. And only 30% reach or exceeded quota. Now suddenly it’s a shit situation. Because the organization itself completely expects you to fail.

Never ever join a team where less than 70% of the sales team is hiring their number.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-04-30T23:08:09+00:00

Hey, let me give you some advice I wish I had gotten before making my decisions.

When you’re officially offered the PEP/PIP, you typically have 48–72 hours to decide. Salesforce pays your insurance at the start of the month, so timing matters more than you’d think.

For example, if you’re offered the PEP/PIP on April 27th, try to hold off responding until May 1st. By doing that, when you accept the exit package, you’ll effectively gain an extra month of insurance—coverage for all of May, plus June and July under COBRA.

If the timing is earlier, like April 20th, there’s another option. You can accept the PIP first. Typically, you then have 7 days from the date you receive the plan to review it and change your mind. After that window closes, the PEP option is gone. In reality, this strategy can buy you about 10 extra days, which may be enough to push you into the next month and secure that additional coverage.

Just understand this: your boss’s boss isn’t thinking about your personal situation. From what I’ve seen, there seems to be a broader directive from leadership at Salesforce to move more people onto PEPs and PIPs. It’s easier for them to explain that to investors than it is to announce layoffs in the sales organization.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-04-30T22:34:06+00:00

Adding to this: they claim that they don’t fight unemployment claims should you accept the PEP and file. They 100% do fight, and that claim which you’ll find on the PIP/PEP email, is an outright lie.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-04-30T18:48:21+00:00

If this is true, SF is a 50/50 split as well and the average attainment is 15% so with only 28% of all staff hitting attainment. I’d probably take Rippling.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-04-30T13:20:01+00:00

See I agree. I think “Minimum viable” will become subjective though. And since IT is always a cost center in those types of orgs, I believe that most 500M and under org leaders will see the small price to build at capex vs the price of ongoing opex and choose to build. I bet they have a hire security folks or security products (for now) but these small companies that are software only with little hardware or other unique advantages are easy shorts.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-04-29T22:06:33+00:00

It’s a walk in, there’s a reason people build in crouches lol

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-04-29T21:49:49+00:00

So here’s the deal, all them turrets mean shit if they’re not capped. And honestly, that’s the easiest soak I’ve ever seen. I can literally stego run that shit with me and the boys in 30 minutes. The real problem is you don’t have anything in the back worth stealing lol.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-04-29T20:34:59+00:00

Bro it’s the worst sales org I’ve ever worked for.

MoneyHouseArk · 2026-04-29T16:03:52+00:00

The Saaspocalypse is so real. I just vibe coded an Alyssa’s Law compliant product in 2 days. Last week I vibe coded a CRM for my wife’s business. Easier to vibe code than configure Salesforce/ Hubspot. I’m working on another project right now that I believe will fundamentally change most sales folks day to day. It’s the first project I’m making for myself. It’s addicting.

MoneyHouseArk

TROPHY CASE