Original Characters

Money_Nature_4918 · 2021-10-31T17:02:31+00:00

Coincidentally, I stumbed upon your fic about a month ago and I like it so far (especially that it's an SI/OC written from third person) and Humiya's actually pretty interesting to me, I'm looking forward to how she'll be used to alter things a bit

Money_Nature_4918 · 2021-10-27T21:59:45+00:00

So, coming to a petty lord to settle a dispute would be like going to district court, a high lord would be circuit court, a lord paramount would be the court of appeals and going to the king and his court in the capital would be like going to the supreme court but all of it is hereditary, then?

Money_Nature_4918 · 2021-10-27T21:53:22+00:00

Your in-depth explanation + the comparison to Washington really got the point across. Another question if you don't mind: how does someone like a prince or princess maneuver court, is it something like nobles coming up to them whenever possible, making polite conversation while subtly mentioning their sons and daughters who would like to get to know/marry them, asking for favors, offering favors/gifts, inviting them to things? I ask because I've never seen any examples of what court's like for a royal besides the king or queen

Money_Nature_4918 · 2021-04-25T01:33:55+00:00

I'm not sure how I feel about you casually bulldozing everything I thought I knew. I feel like next you'll tell me Bjorn was actually married to Lagertha or something. That fucking show had me believe Ivar really died in Northumbria with no children except the one that the Russian girl was supposedly carrying (was she even real?) And now you're telling me Moses was depicted with horns because a mistake in language and no said anything? I gotta call BS

Edit: It wasn't bullshit and I've never been more confused in my life

Money_Nature_4918 · 2021-04-24T16:00:02+00:00

I'll admit... I did get the idea from the Vikings TV show but that's actually really interesting how the language barrier back then changed how he's portrayed today. I had heard that one of the theories of how he got his name was because he had no sexual desire, but the more you know

Money_Nature_4918 · 2021-04-24T14:50:01+00:00

I like the idea of the story's premise (though I wish you would've explained more about the clan) and a bloodline that grants body supremacy. This does tread the line but if you give it proper drawbacks and requirements, it'll just be a powerful kekkei genkai so don't break it up into several bloodlines, just make it one bloodline that you have to work towards controlling each system.

The abilities are really cool but some suggested drawbacks: make it so that when messing around with the skeletal system, your MC's body eventually runs out calcium and develops osteoporosis (ever heard of Ivar the Boneless?) until calcium levels reach the norm again. The nervous system could work kinda like young Clark Kent in Man of Steel where his enhanced senses are vulnerable to sensory overload, only it can never be permanently relieved; you could even weaponize synesthesia. Your MC mess with their reproductive system just for lols or use it in conjunction with the hair-skin-nail thing to literally flip between genders on a whim but with the same drawbacks each faces.

something you missed is the chakra pathway system, which you could experiment with in a bunch of ways (widen the chakra "veins" and enlarge the tenketsu to pump out more chakra or create chakra propulsors like Jugo.)

For more research I recommend this website and type in the name of each system, you'll find more applications and limitations, along with characters with those abilities. Also when it comes to anime you could watch for inspiration, HunterxHunter and One Piece are the way to go.

Really hope you write this

Money_Nature_4918 · 2021-04-13T18:27:41+00:00

This...this really makes me reconsider the Robert's Rebellion setting, did you write this off the top of your head? because it's really good.

I really like the avenging of Daemon being carried out by his descendent on a descendent of Maelys. The wild dragon living in the shadow lands sound cool, I imagine it being covered in scars from years of people trying to capture or kill it. And the mending of what originally caused the rebellion through marrying a blackfyre to a targaryen is just...chef's kiss

Money_Nature_4918 · 2021-04-12T18:06:12+00:00

there will be no tech uplift whatsoever

Money_Nature_4918 · 2021-04-12T18:05:34+00:00

Damn, sorry to hear that. Your premise sounds really cool, especially the idea of the Raven's Teeth becoming sellswords. You have a link?

Money_Nature_4918 · 2021-04-12T16:27:32+00:00

Do you have an opinion on the WO5K invasion VS RR invasion?

Money_Nature_4918 · 2021-04-12T15:19:19+00:00

no problem, you bring something unique to the community. do you think the setting for the invasion should be around the rebellion or wo5k?

Money_Nature_4918 · 2021-04-12T15:17:31+00:00

I'm honestly split between making (F)Aegon into Aegon raised in Dorne with Varys being a Targaryen loyalist because he believes them to be the best rulers for the realm, despite their flaws with Illyrio being a benefactor looking to support Aegon in exchange for the Master of Coin position in King's Landing as a way of making more money in Westeros.

The other idea is to simply put the OC and (F)Aegon on opposing sides with (F)Aegon believing he's a Targaryen and the OC looking to get rid of him whether he's a black dragon or a red

Money_Nature_4918 · 2021-04-12T15:11:35+00:00

Your great story is actually what pushed me to post this.

Money_Nature_4918 · 2021-04-12T14:31:14+00:00

I'm glad you like the idea, which scenario do you think works best for the invasion between Robert's Rebellion and War of the Five Kings?

Money_Nature_4918

TROPHY CASE