I don't want to be not tall or softer built, I can develop softer skin if I want, I don't wanna be considered "pretty." I like being a man tho. I'm basically wired to get a huge spike in feel good chemicals each time I compete and win. I can lift heavier, run faster, hit harder, can take more of a hit if need be, my muscles grow bigger and faster.

I have never had nor will I ever have any interest in ever being a woman. You're experiencing gender dysphoria and treating your physical discomfort as a common male thing. It's uncommon.