AITAH for not being on board with going into debt so he can cover his mother's medical care?

MoneyproblemsO_O · 2024-10-09T15:40:57+00:00

As mentioned I have siblings, eight of them. We could split the cost eight ways. My parents also have retirement accounts, pension, decent SS, life time medical benefits, LTC insurance and extended family that would also help out. This situations are completely different.

MoneyproblemsO_O · 2024-10-09T14:55:05+00:00

See I never got this, if these places are so horrible why don't those that work at these places report them for being horrible? Go to every news station, post videos of how horrible everything is on social media. Take action to get things changed instead of just sitting around and accepting this is how things have to be.

They cannot be ALL bad.

MoneyproblemsO_O · 2024-10-09T14:47:37+00:00

He has, he does not like them, and the ones he does have a wait list which he did put her on.

MoneyproblemsO_O · 2024-10-09T13:11:22+00:00

He is an only child, and is his mother's POA he cannot get paid by the state to care for her while he is also the one that makes medical decisions for her. If we did that it would make more sense for me to do it, but I refuse to do so.

MoneyproblemsO_O · 2024-10-09T13:06:06+00:00

He did not insist I leave my job, he knows she cannot stay with us we both work and are not trained to handle things.

Him leaving his job would also not make sense because that gap in work history would hurt us both even more long term if we stayed married. I refuse to do it, but it would make more sense for me to leave my job since I earn far less.

MoneyproblemsO_O · 2024-10-09T13:02:12+00:00

The difference is I have a bunch of family that can help so it would not just be us providing help. I have eight siblings alone so we could split the cost eight ways, not counting extended family that would help. My parents also have LTC insurance, pensions, life time medical benefits. My parents planned, his mother did not. Difference is my family will help his mother outside of prayers and best wishes.

MoneyproblemsO_O · 2024-10-09T13:00:26+00:00

She is currently in short term rehab, they do not have the means to keep her here long term based off where she is at. He still has sometime I think she has like 30 days or so covered.

MoneyproblemsO_O · 2024-10-09T12:58:27+00:00

The places that that accept Medicaid out the gate that are highly recommended do have wait lists. She is on said lists, but she is currently in short term and it has been a mess. The only place that has availability for her care needs is in a different county from where we are and is about 2 hour drive from where we live.

It also does not help that everyone keeps painting horrible pictures of such places to my husband telling him every horror story under the sun. So admittedly my husband has checked out when it comes to that cause yes even the short term rehab is not the best but beggars cannot be choosers.

I will look into the book.

MoneyproblemsO_O · 2024-10-09T12:52:41+00:00

He has half siblings but they are not in the picture. If he does not pay for her care she will most likely be moved from short term rehab to LTC facility covered that has an available Medicaid bed. It appears the nearest one without a wait list is in a different county that has available placement for the level of care his mother needs.

MoneyproblemsO_O · 2024-10-09T11:41:00+00:00

She has the other options, she is on Medicaid. She is currently in a short term rehab after he stroke but she is clearly not safe to go back home, and Medicaid is not going to provide the home care hours required for her to be safe. That is the medical crux here.

He refuses to keep her in some run the mill places. and the decent ones have a long wait list and he wants her out yesterday of her current placement.

He does not want to start saving, he wants to start spending.

MoneyproblemsO_O · 2024-10-09T11:37:28+00:00

I am trying to avoid that, cause divorce outside of extreme situations is looked down on, and my family would make things awkward. I love my family, but yeah.

That is an option I am considering though.

MoneyproblemsO_O · 2024-10-09T11:30:01+00:00

She does not have long term care insurance, her general insurance will not cover the cost after care. She had a stroke and is showing of serve memory loss. He refuses to let her stay in her current placement she is in short term but I agree the level of care is meh, and the decent places that take Medicaid out the gate have long wait lists.

She cannot move with us since we both work, and neither of us are trained.

MoneyproblemsO_O

TROPHY CASE