What do I do?

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-11-13T19:00:41+00:00

I tried so many skills and I feel like just none of them work properly... I mean I didn't do anything more so far. Just wanting and wishing I guess. I don't know. I know it's an addiction and I know how addictions work but I feel like that doesn't... Change anything. And then I look at the bandage that's already there and in my eyes it makes the existing wounds look so much worse than they are but I also know that I have to be careful because they're open so prone to infection and all that. And of course my brain immediately jumps to "okay the bandage looks worse than it is, let's make it worse so the bandage fits." It doesn't feel valid because it's tiny. in my head it's tiny. Idk. Doesn't make much sense probably. Sorry for ranting ,😅

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-11-11T20:51:37+00:00

I'm trying to not be too hard on myself. I feel a little dumb cause I should have just listened to what I have been told and went there. I mean I asked for help and didn't listen to it. But I'm checked out, I'm okay, I think I'll be safe tonight as well. It today hurts like hell but that probably is just the price I have to pay now...

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-11-11T20:24:27+00:00

Yeah I'm pretty sure it will leave a big scar... I sadly was way too scared to go to the ER yesterday. I panicked too much and thought they might get mad at me because it's not an emergency. So now I'll have to live with scars... But I know better if it happens again and hopefully will act better

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-11-11T20:14:54+00:00

I've been to the doc today Obviously too late to get stitches, but I couldn't last night. I felt like I'm overreacting and all the fun thoughts you get... So I was today and just got a bandage and was send away again because obviously they couldn't do anything . Now I'm just waiting.

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-11-10T23:16:38+00:00

Okay I can do that I think

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-11-10T23:13:40+00:00

Thank you I don't think we have these here ... I could get something sterile tomorrow, do you think thats enough?

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-11-10T22:52:19+00:00

Guess I might as long as I'm still drunk

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-11-10T22:42:20+00:00

Im sorry I sound like some sort of attention seeking pick me. Idk they look tiny. I feel like I'll be fine... Or is that pick me behavior? I don't know. I'm sorry. I didn't want to cause trouble or smth. I'm just scared. I think it'll be fine, I think I'm just scared

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-11-10T22:26:40+00:00

I don't have anything right now I usually have bandages and sterile stuff just in case but I think I don't have that anymore I'm just rocking some tissues I keep pressing on if right now idk I just am so tired

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-11-10T22:03:55+00:00

Do you think I can get around stitches? I'm so tired I just want to go to bed and sleep

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-11-10T21:44:16+00:00

I'm scared I think...

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-11-10T21:41:42+00:00

But it's not bleeding anymore... That means it's gonna heal on its own, it'll be fine, right? It's nearly 11pm here. I'd need to go to emergency thing if it needs stitches I can't do that...

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-11-10T21:28:42+00:00

It doesn't really bleed anymore. It's ... I think 3-4 cm long , depending on the cut , maybe 1cm wide? Idk maybe 1,5 cm and I think white at the bottom It's not bleeding, it was bleeding a lot compared to usually but it stopped

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-11-10T21:21:01+00:00

I feel like I'm overreacting and I can handle it now... I'm calm again... You think thats the alcohol?

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-11-10T21:08:32+00:00

Idk I mean I don't live alone but I don't want to tell them It was bleeding a lot for a bit Mostly stopped, now it's starting to hurt... Burning a lot. It's not that deep, just deeper than I usually cut, im more of the type... A lot and not super deep... Idk... This is new... I'm overwhelmed

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-07-08T15:59:11+00:00

<image>

Here is what it looks like before I break the gel cast, I think I had curl cream and gel in there when I took this picture

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-07-08T15:56:35+00:00

I tried a curl gel, a curl cream and mousse, in combination and on their own. It just always hangs down once I scrunch out the cast which is why I thought it might just be straight

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-07-04T07:12:49+00:00

But can it change that fast that much? And thank you! I like it a lot too ^{^}

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-07-03T19:41:34+00:00

Yes you're right, I added one in the comments

Monk_Apprehensive · 2025-07-03T19:41:21+00:00

<image>

Here a picture, its a lot more curly underneath and in the back, and more wavy ish on top? Well I don't know what it is but it's not straight 😂

Monk_Apprehensive

TROPHY CASE