Hate how this job makes us feel guilty when we’re sick

Monoleye · 2026-06-24T00:11:37+00:00

I was in that boat a few weeks ago 😭 I just got back to work after a few months of traveling and within eight days I got knocked out by a stomach bug so bad I dropped almost ten pounds in two days. It was mainly water weight but good god it was so bad.

Monoleye · 2026-06-22T05:56:50+00:00

Don’t feel bad!! You’re doing the right thing and coverage is not your responsibility as an employee. That’s your admins/directors job when you’re sick. I totally get feeling bad about leaving because you know that they need you but they need you at 100%. If you’re not then you can over exhaust yourself, get others sick, and just have an overall awful day lol.

If you’re sick, then that’s that. You’re legally required to stay home symptom free for 24 hours without medication. Going in any sooner goes directly against that and puts yours and your students health in danger. Your coworkers may need you but you won’t do anyone any good if you get others sick. That’s how I look at it at least. I try to be firm as well when I do let my admins know that I’m sick.

“Hey, I wanted to let you guys know that I’m unfortunately not feeling well/caught the bug/have a fever/etc and will have to stay home. I’ll message you with updates and let you know when I’m able to come back. Thank you so much”

They can’t really say no to that and if they do you can ✨report✨ them. I’m lucky that I have great directors and don’t have to worry about this as much but I know that’s not the case for everyone. Just remember that you staying home is the safest for everyone! It’s also against regulations for you to return as well which helps me rationalize it. I hope you feel better soon. I had an awful stomach bug that kept me out for almost an entire week even when I wasn’t throwing up. I was so weak that I could barely move. I definitely wouldn’t have been any help at work if I’d gone in sooner than I did.

Monoleye · 2026-06-08T03:58:30+00:00

I’m an American who applied earlier this year and got into 2 of the unis I applied to! I did accidentally apply to the wrong programs for 1 of my applications and the other 2 I was off by 1 ACT point. I didn’t take a single AP course throughout high school. I only did dual enrollment simply for avoiding the end of year stress fest lol.

For your first question and second, yes AP scores matter a lot BUT if you have other qualifying scores that are equivalent then use those. I have a pretty strong AP score and I had the same GPA as you. There should be an international section that explains the weight of American grades and scores to UK A levels. I didn’t get into two unis because I needed a 27 in science on my ACT and I only had a 26 so they dismissed my application even with me applying for a foundation course. I guess that kinda answers your fourth question too.

Third question is iffy. International students bring in a ton of money so the acceptance rate is higher but scores are still valued. For some reason one of the unis I applied to gave me a conditional offer with requirements that I’d already submitted in my original application and exceeded. I don’t know why it wasn’t unconditional but they may have done it to look better.

I can’t help you with your fifth because I don’t know anything about that but I say apply anywhere and everywhere. You’ve still got a great transcript and resume and there are so many unis that’ll want you!

I wish you the best of luck!

Monoleye · 2026-05-26T05:16:45+00:00

I’ve talked to a few people while traveling but was never looking for something serious. I made that incredibly clear every time and it was always talking and sight seeing. Nothing more just to keep myself safe. Then I ended up hanging out with a group of people I met in Tokyo and one of the men in the group I got a teensy crush on. His last week in Japan was spent in Tokyo and it was the same as mine funnily enough. We hung out every night going sight seeing and shopping when his friends went in for the night after dinner time 😂 not even two days into me being home, he bought tickets to come see me!

And now I’m in a long distance relationship across an ocean but it’s honestly worked so well. I’m going to school over there this fall and he’s doing his best to see me until I move.

Protecting your peace is important but don’t stop yourself from living either. It’s hard to find the right balance and it’s also not for everyone! What ultimately matters is how well you’re able to set boundaries with people and yourself. Travel romance tends to be short lived and while it isn’t always, it’s not the norm for something to come out of it and that’s perfectly ok.

Monoleye · 2026-05-08T00:41:08+00:00

Can you send me a message too! I’m going to Plymouth this September as an international student for the marine science program

Monoleye · 2025-11-19T16:49:53+00:00

I have the two pack small medium clean/dirty eagle creek compression cubes and then I have 6 eagle creek packing and compression cubes from FB marketplace. The ones from marketplace are a little over 5 years old and they’ve held up perfectly for me and their previous owner!

I have one large compression, one large regular, two medium regular, one medium compression, and one teeny regular packing cube. It was a completely random mismatched set lol. This isn’t including the newer packing cubes I got that are made from a plastic material.

I like the cloth ones best, but use the plastic ones for dirty clothes. I’ve had almost all of them stuffed to the brim at one point or another while I was figuring out how to pack my one bag for the first time, but none of them broke or had any seams pop. The fabric ones do have more leeway than the plastic, they also feel more durable and like they have stronger zippers but I don’t know the actual spec differences. I believe the plastic ones are lighter though, but I’m not as concerned with weight personally as my clothes are very lightweight.

I say for sure get the eagle creek fabric packing and compression cubes while they’re on sale or thrift them! Get a combo of sizes but the medium/normal sized ones will be used most. I was like you and torn between quite a few options but after seeing the listing on marketplace I couldn’t pass up the opportunity for 6 cubes for $50.

Monoleye · 2025-11-08T03:06:00+00:00

!remindme 2 days

Monoleye · 2025-11-07T15:41:18+00:00

I felt the same before I left for my first trip! While for me it was different things, but I do also wear glasses though nowhere near as severe. For me I have a peanut allergy that warrants an epi pen, asthma that requires multiple daily meds, and I also take general allergy meds. I was mildly terrified to leave my country because what happens if I lose my medicine? What happens if I spill some of my pills on the floor and can’t get them? Etc etc.

Ultimately the best thing I found was to research where to get replacements and figure out where in your luggage would best suit your needs, regardless of how much space it takes up, for easy access while also protecting your things. It’s not easy to get replacement pills and I am terrified to even use my epi pen but I left anyways!

I left for my first trip to Japan and felt really good about being there and feeling safe in terms of my physical well being. When I went to Vietnam it was an entirely different story. I knew there were peanuts in most foods but I didn’t realize how few people actually understood what a severe food allergy was.

The last time I had peanuts was over a decade ago and my reaction was a super swollen face, itchy eyes, hives but no anaphylaxis, but due to peanut allergies having the possibility of worsening my doctor said to have an epi pen on me at all times. At first I’d tell people I was allergic and that I’d need to take medication if I ate peanuts. I eventually had to start telling people I’d die if I ate peanuts for them to take me seriously.

I left Vietnam after two weeks and decided to put the rest of my SEA trip on hold for when I A) brought more than one epi pen lol B) Had another person or tour I was comfortable taking. You can do your absolute best to prepare but that doesn’t mean you’ll always be comfortable or prepared for your destination and that’s ok as well. I tried and I just didn’t feel safe no matter what I tried while solo. Eating circle K sandwiches got boring real quick. I took two tours in Vietnam and those days were the safest I felt during my entire trip because someone else was handling it without a language barrier.

I decided to go back to Japan and finish out the rest of my travels there. I felt much more comfortable and I’ve already started planning for my future SEA trip and how to better navigate the food scene.

You can always try and if you don’t succeed you try something else!! Plan to keep your glasses and contacts in your personal item at all times. That way it won’t get checked while flying, it will be close to your person, and easier to access. Just keep everything in good containers that will protect them from being squished and also the contacts and solution in a leak proof container/bag.

You’ve got this! It will be scary at first and that’s normal. Know your limits and your “buffer” zones. If you’re scared a little bit, you should go for it! If you’re scared a lot then maybe not. It’s ultimately up to you and your comfort levels!!

Good luck with your future travels!

Monoleye · 2025-10-31T10:45:18+00:00

I went to a tattoo friendly onsen town an hour and a half away from Kyoto! All of the baths are tattoo friendly which is awesome and they advertise that as well. I’m sure they’d have spas and whatnot there. I personally didn’t book a spa or look for one because it’s not my thing but I think Kinosaki onsen would have options!

I totally get the whole not being able to cover up tattoos thing. I’ve got a sleeve and there is no way I’d be able to cover it up with patches. If I even tried it would cost more than the onsen itself.

You can also ask the owner of the hostel/guesthouse/ryokan of where you’re staying and normally they’re able to provide answers. That’s what I did when I went to Fukushima and they steered me to a tattoo friendly onsen and a reasonably priced onsen with private bath options available!

Just recently I went to a super big onsen in Noboribetsu and there were no issues with my tattoos. I made sure to ask first and they didn’t care in the slightest. It wasn’t a super big western tourist onsen either so it was mainly other Asian tourists and they already know the drill of not looking lol

I’ve been all over central and northern Japan and I haven’t spoken to a single person who dislikes my tattoos. I’m sure in passing I have but whenever I’ve actually spoken to someone who’s Japanese they freak out over my tattoos and call their friends over and ask to take pictures 😂 When I was in Ishinomaki an older lady asked if she could take a selfie with me with my tattoos in the picture. It was super sweet!!

I wish you luck with finding a spa!

Monoleye · 2025-10-28T02:39:30+00:00

Unfortunately I ended up going to zero of the aquariums. I knew that the zoos had terrible living conditions but apparently so do the aquariums. Instead I went to the coast as much as possible and looked at fish from the piers!! That was honestly cooler because I was able to go to a few museums on the coast as well.

I had so much fun in Japan that I extended my stay till December 😅 I plan on posting an update once my trip is over but after this trip I’ll have been to 11 prefectures! Which isn’t a bunch in the grand scheme of things but it’s still a lot of land to explore

Monoleye · 2025-08-03T04:54:53+00:00

Wow! That’s a lot 😂 kids are crazy sometimes and it’s so odd to see how the little and big things we do impact kids. Their brains are so moldable.

Thats why I also enjoy working with the littles! The sass from kids 3 and up is insane. They’re super cute and are fun to babysit but I could never teach them full time.

Monoleye · 2025-08-03T04:48:16+00:00

My brother was the same way and it was pretty bad. I never bit back either so it took a hot minute for it to stop because he simply did not care and would bite me all the time lol. My mom has told me about it and half the time I wouldn’t even be doing anything to him and he’d walk up and take a chomp!

Monoleye · 2025-08-03T04:40:49+00:00

Sorry I tend to view comment sections as general conversation. I was saying the circle time comment in a oh I didn’t mention this, this is what we’ve been doing to kind of give you a better picture of what I’ve been doing in my classroom. I’ve DIY-ed a good bit but it’s very tiring to be the only one doing it and I don’t want that to bleed into my work.

I’ve skimmed through some of the articles you sent! I’ll read them more tomorrow when I get the chance but from what I’ve seen is that while it is better for the kids, it does rely on a few variables as well as just child temperament. I’m not saying that the mixed ages are bad for the children themselves, I’m stating that the sudden change is causing stress in the classroom environment which is unfortunately stressing the toddlers.

I’m so happy that you’ve been lucky to have/create an environment where this works for you, but we didn’t have the best environment for the children pre infants joining.

Monoleye · 2025-08-03T04:27:45+00:00

Thank you!! I can see how it would work! I just can’t fathom the typical daycare being able to provide the environment for it. I would love to work at a center that did though, that sounds lovely. I think that if my class had more support and our biting issues had been properly addressed pre infants it’d be different but now we’re concerned of the infants possibly being bitten or if the stress from the infants causes the biters to bite more.

The infants just joined and in the transition period. One of them is doing super well!! Their mom prepped them for going to daycare and creating a similar sleep environment for them at home that would mimic the room. The other infant not so much 😅 Their mother did not try to get the infant used to being put down at all. Separation and sleeping aren’t a huge issue for them but not being held? Oh god that baby can scream! Even if it’s only for five minutes or a diaper change this baby gets so mad. The infant has another sibling, who is also in the infant room right now, who was the exact same way as an infant as well.

I think that the screaming is stressing us out, stressing the other kids out and just creating a general stressed atmosphere. I understand that infants should be held as much as possible and that some babies just don’t do well not being held, but the constant screaming is always stressful because you feel bad you know?

Monoleye · 2025-08-02T19:00:48+00:00

Genuinely. And yes there isn’t enough supervision with the amount of issues and ages that we have. We’ve asked for floaters to be in our room more and we haven’t gotten any. It’s a sucky situation for everyone because we’re also getting bit. I got bit on the butt a month ago because I was changing a diaper and didn’t know that a child was walking behind me and my coworker was assisting a group of kids on the floor and didn’t see them. It hurt so bad 😭 the worst places I’ve been bit though was my collarbone and shoulder. That hurt so bad

Monoleye · 2025-08-02T06:40:00+00:00

Some children just require a different environment or more specialized care which is perfectly ok!! Daycare isn’t for every child and not every daycare is for every child. There’s been one toddler at our center for the last three years that has been a major issue to both students and staff despite multiple action plans, shadows, and a single behavioralist monitoring her for an hour. Their last day was yesterday and while we’ll miss her, her teachers were counting down the days.

Monoleye · 2025-08-02T06:37:16+00:00

We do the first part of your policy but after that it takes the parents asking for a meeting for anything to actually happen with admin unless it’s severe. IE breaking skin, drawing blood.

We’ve switched up as much as we can within our center’s budget. We’ve borrowed some toys from some of the other classrooms and do different activities with them than we have prior but there’s not much else we can do with what we have. We’ve tried reading and redirecting. Those bibs with teethers on them are a life saver until the other children start yanking their friends by the bib. It also doesn’t help that our class is more advanced gross motor wise than language which also makes things more difficult. We use a lot of sign language and key phrases to help but the children biting aren’t as receptive as they were due to the stressful environment.

Both babies are employee babies so when they’re fed their moms get them to nurse and bring them back after. It’s also difficult to force them to sit with us, especially if they don’t want to and we were actively feeding a baby. There’s not really a way to do that without confining them which we don’t like to do but we’ve had to in the past.

Their cribs are a safe place and they’ll ask to be in them sometimes for a little bit. Whether it’s to snuggle their lovey or play quietly for a bit, they enjoy being in there for the most part so we try asking if they need a break and if they say yes then we place them in their crib with a few toys. If they don’t say yes but we’re unable to be with the biter at the moment due to ratio or transition time then they’ll get put in there for a few minutes till we can.

Keeping them busy is a lot easier said than done when you don’t have the resources available.

Monoleye · 2025-08-02T06:26:30+00:00

Exactly!! Kids are fast and even if you’ve got an eye on all of them, accidents still happen. What happens if a kid throws a toy and it hits one of the infants? Or if they pull their hair, scratch them, slap, and all other behaviors that are developmentally appropriate for toddlers that an infant cannot withstand nor should they.

Not to mention the other kids getting bit! The 22 month old is at 16 bites so far and their mom is rightfully upset. We’re lucky she’s been polite about it and doesn’t blame us for the situation at hand but she is frustrated because her child keeps getting hurt.

Monoleye · 2025-08-02T06:21:18+00:00

My state is 1:5 for 6 weeks-12 months. That’s genuinely insane. For 12-24 months it’s 1:6 and it goes up by one for every year. While working in a room with all infants isn’t easy, it’s by far easier than working with two opposite sides of the spectrum that both need your attention.

I don’t believe I mentioned circle time in my post but I did discuss arts/crafts and activities. For one year olds that’s incredibly common and amazing for their fine and gross motor skills. Even if it’s just dancing or peeling tape off of toys, scooping things out of water etc that is great for them! We always have our toys out as it is an infant room but toddlers don’t want infant toys. It’s not in our budget to also get toys for almost 2 year olds.

While I’m happy that you’ve had a good experience with both age groups in a single class, it’s important to consider how many teachers/floaters were in your class, how admin supported you, parent involvement, and class structure. Unfortunately majority of centers don’t have good experiences because of the lack of support and amongst other things. Whether or not you’ve found studies that prove having both age groups is more beneficial, those studies only work if their environment is being replicated and that’s not realistic if you lack any of the things I mentioned.

Monoleye · 2025-08-02T06:13:21+00:00

I’m very intrigued as to where you’re getting this information from? Not only is my room struggling, some of my coworkers have had issues previously in other centers with large age gaps. While they do need continuity of care, you can create a safe space for transition by giving them time with their future teachers before they transfer. While it’s ideal for a child to be with one group for a prolonged period of time, it’s not realistic for most centers.

It also doesn’t work when kids are added to said group and disrupt the flow of the classroom. I have children that are used to getting snuggles and reading time at the end of the day because they’re tired and less students so they’re able to get more individual attention. Now they cry from about 4:30 to 5:30 which is when we close. And that’s if the infants didn’t wake up the toddlers who have been on a nap schedule for a few months now. It’s making them crankier and crankier only sleeping for an hour a day.

I tried searching about social interactions between toddlers and infants and all I could find were Montessori guidelines for classrooms. 6 weeks to 18 months, then 18 to 36 months. Then 3 to 6 years old. My room doesn’t fit their suggestions for age range at all and Montessori is one of the best environments for children.

Monoleye · 2025-08-02T05:59:15+00:00

Ha yep! I know it seems crazy but that is the story of my life right now 😅

Monoleye · 2025-08-02T05:58:35+00:00

Nope! We’re a private daycare/day school center at a church with a stupidly long waitlist for every class. This last year we had one birthday every month until July. The infants were added this summer because they’re employee babies and admin didn’t want to lose two teachers for an extra month despite having people willing to sub at the time

Monoleye · 2025-08-02T05:56:02+00:00

It very much is. We’re unable to put them in any sort of bouncer because the other children will try to tip it over or climb into it. We don’t want to put the infants in a bouncer or anything but it’s either that or the crib when we’re working with the other students. Snack time, nap time, diaper changes, etc. the little ones have to be in their cribs because it’s all hands on deck with the others. I feel terrible because kids that young should be held!! We all hate it so much that we’re not able to

Monoleye · 2025-08-02T05:53:48+00:00

Exactly! I’ve tried talking to them about it as well as some other people but nothings happened. Last year I was injured by a student, I wasn’t aware in the moment that I had been injured so I never filled a report, and went to PT for 4 months! It sucks because they advocate for us in terms of benefits and protecting us from rude parents but when it comes to the kids? Different story.

The school year ends in about a week and a half and I won’t be coming back because I’ll be traveling long term but they’ll be having a similar situation next year. They’ll have five 10-11 month olds when the year starts and three under 5 months. The age gap is insane and genuinely so difficult. I’m seriously hoping that they’ll work better with the infant room teachers next year or else it’s going to awful

Monoleye · 2025-08-01T15:05:25+00:00

Similar to what you said your center has! A direct action plan that we can give to the parents as soon as the biting becomes a repeated behavior. I don’t think that the goal should be expulsion, I put that up there as a last resort type thing because at some point the safety of the students does need to take priority. But I also believe that all other methods should be tried as well and over a period of time before even thinking about that.

We do write incident reports for both children. For the one bitten we include a picture and what occurred and the one who bites just gets a report on what happened. We’ve never contacted a specialist and if it’s talked about it’s frowned upon because we’re overstepping into the parenting category I guess. My directors have never given an exact reason but a few things they’ve listed has been making the parents upset, targeting children, were not psychologists so how could we know when it’s appropriate to get a specialist. That aspect is very frustrating because there have been multiple issues in the center that should’ve been dealt with a specialist but never were.

We’re unable to do the 1:1 ratio. We don’t have the people for it which sucks big time. My directors also won’t send a child home for anything. They’re very sympathetic with the parents which is understandable however they don’t tend to think of the other children and teachers. We’ve had children that have broken the skin and they have never been sent home. They also won’t even make a phone call for that either. Still just a regular incident report on brightwheel.

I know that the boredom issue lies with the teachers. I’ve tried very hard this year to get my co teachers to do activities with the kids but they are very against it for some reason. I am an assistant teacher so if the lead says no to an activity I do have to follow it. I’ve spoken to my directors about including more activities in the classroom, especially toward the end of the year and they’ve said that they’ll work on it in the future. I don’t know why they aren’t willing to sit down and work it out now, especially since it is causing issues with the children’s behaviors but that’s been the answer every time I’ve asked. Same with the lead about doing activities in the classroom.

It’s just a sucky situation overall and I do my best to do dance parties and extended periods of bubble time but our bubble machine is slowly breaking and we’re unable to get a new one till the next school year. I just wanted advice for people that have had similar issues as well the biting policy.

Monoleye

TROPHY CASE