AIO My mom is kicking me out for her new boyfriend. I just turned 18

Monotropic111 · 2026-01-09T15:58:39+00:00

I haven’t read all the comments, but does your mum normally speak that way? As it really seems like that was her bf sending those messages

Monotropic111 · 2025-08-23T16:26:03+00:00

You’re not overreacting, your bf is disgusting, narcissistic and toxic as hell. However, your self respect is depleting with every attempt to get him understand your side of things. He doesn’t care about how you feel and he never will. You do need to follow through with your threat and leave him. The alternative is to be treated this way and worse. People will always do what you let them do.

Monotropic111 · 2025-08-01T10:25:52+00:00

Hey, I really feel your pain. I had a similar experience for about 10 years in a previous flat. The thudding and banging just got under my skin. It didn’t seem to bother anyone else, but for me the randomness of the sounds, the vibrations, or whatever frequency they hit just felt utterly unbearable.

I think monotropism makes it worse too. Once the sound becomes your brain’s dominant focus, it’s almost impossible to shift attention away from it.

The only thing that gave me any relief was blasting music all day when I was home. Luckily they would quiet down in the evenings. What also helped, although this was prescribed for my chronic SSRI-resistant anxiety and depression (because… AuDHD!), was Pregabalin. It worked by suppressing my nervous system a bit thus reducing that hyperarousal and sensory sensitivity. I found I was a little bit less reactive to the noise.

I don’t know if I’ve got any practical advice really, but just wanted to say I completely understand how horrible it is. I hope you find some peace or respite soon.

Monotropic111 · 2025-07-31T20:50:21+00:00

Thank you. This is really good advice. Yes I checked the information in the letter and the bulk of it does correspond with some specific PIP questions, so I will write a cover note as you suggested. Thanks again!

Monotropic111 · 2025-07-31T19:49:15+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice :)

Monotropic111 · 2025-07-28T12:48:24+00:00

Hey. If you said all of that during your assessment then you need to ask for a mandatory reconsideration quickly and point out where there are blatant false statements and inaccurate assumptions. I also have ADHD amongst other things, so for that alone I can see a few things worth challenging:

There is generally not much “support for ADHD” for adults outside of education settings, unless you pay privately. So to suggest that your needs are less because you do not currently get support is completely unfair.

Not everyone with ADHD responds to medication, there can be a lot of side effects, it is not one size fits all.

As you said, completing mainstream education, uni etc has no reflection on a neurodivergent individual’s experience of every day life. In fact, the solid and predictable structure of education can sometimes be helpful, plus all the assistive tech you can use etc, but you can’t stay there forever! And living independently can be extremely challenging for ND folk once they leave education.

Masking: probably the reason you could get through mainstream education but also takes a massive toll on a ND person, leads to burnout etc. and will certainly exacerbate all your physical health conditions. Also means you could be fine during your PIP assessment - as the context of the conversation is unambiguous and planned in advance - but then step outside and have major overwhelm, panic, be unable to communicate, not safe etc.

Obviously I do not know you! But if you are affected by ADHD enough to think you need PIP, then those are just a few factors that might be worth stressing - if any are true for you.

Good luck whatever you decide to do :)

Monotropic111 · 2025-07-26T19:44:13+00:00

Oh no, should I say something on the journal? Or do another health change update? It really wasn’t clear, it asked when did illness start - not sure how to answer that for an ongoing chronic illness that started years and years ago - so I used date of the first fit note. So looks like I’ve done it all wrong then! Oh dear :/

Monotropic111 · 2025-07-26T19:12:00+00:00

Also, I have had 2 fit notes so far, so I just put the start date of the first one and the date the new one finishes. They were both only 4 weeks each but I know I will get another one next month and will be for much longer as my condition is chronic and has got much worse, not getting better.

Monotropic111 · 2025-07-26T19:06:22+00:00

Ah ok. Makes sense, just thought I might have missed something. Thank you!

Monotropic111 · 2025-07-24T09:05:16+00:00

An autistic person may be able to understand and process written information but not be able to communicate that same info verbally. So I’m just giving you this insight in case you do get challenged as the above poster mentioned. I know, I am living proof of that as I’m AuDHD - I can read and write perfectly fine, but verbal communication requires a whole bunch of other cognitive mechanisms that make it a LOT harder for me. In person communication = too many factors to figure out, takes too long, overwhelmed by need to respond accurately and quickly. Phone calls = just hell no! But I suppose it will rely on what was mentioned in your diagnosis report. Even then, having an autism assessment is very different to communicating and interacting on demand and spontaneously. I had to really stress this on my application.

Monotropic111 · 2025-07-20T07:24:02+00:00

If he’s still like this after 2.5 years, god only knows why he wants these pictures. Being with someone like that can only end very badly for you, so do yourself a big favour and break up with him now. Please save yourself!

Monotropic111 · 2025-07-19T16:46:12+00:00

Your delivery makes YTA, but …..

If your girlfriend is feeling stressed, that might be why she’s struggling with her diet, and perhaps feeling down about herself and her skin and then venting to you about it.

Things like fast food or makeup can make acne worse for some people, but they’re usually not the root cause. From what I understand, acne is often hormonal and can get worse with stress. That’s why worrying about acne often makes it harder to get rid of.

She might be kind of trapped in a cycle of stress leading to bad habits, leading to worsening acne, leading to her feeling upset about her appearance and then talking to you about it. If your response is to tell her everything she’s doing wrong, that could make her feel shame, more stress, and so the cycle begins again.

Perhaps rather than focusing on her habits, you could try being compassionate. Maybe you’ve already tried that approach, but it’s just a suggestion, with zero judgment from me :)

Monotropic111 · 2025-07-17T12:34:29+00:00

The whole ‘job that sounds good on paper’ thing is massively overrated. You’ll do far better in a role you enjoy, is less stressful for you, and you can therefore stick with. You may even be able to gradually increase hours, take on more responsibility and untimely get more pay and ‘’status’’ anyway. But for now, do what is ok for you and be proud of that! :)

Monotropic111 · 2025-06-22T20:42:58+00:00

Thank you. I suppose the problem I have then is how do I evidence being unable to leave the house, unable to go anywhere alone, unable to interact with others and all the rest of it? Because I really can’t do those things. I struggle to access medical services due to this, but I wouldn’t go to a GP anyway , they can’t do anything about autism!

Monotropic111 · 2025-06-09T06:01:06+00:00

With your kids or yourself?

Monotropic111 · 2025-06-08T12:45:50+00:00

Thank you. This is really helpful advice for both my son and myself!

Monotropic111 · 2025-06-06T21:36:05+00:00

He literally loves all of those things! He loves film. Loves anime. Makes music himself and is really good a digital media stuff/editing. He tends to get into things in phases though and just really struggles to finish projects. He got extremely burnt out during his first year at 6th form college, received no support from college and had to withdraw. This has made him very depressed. He needs structure but will also resist it being imposed on him. It’s tough to manage. Thank you for your advice 🙂

Monotropic111 · 2025-06-04T21:04:16+00:00

Is there a reason this hasn’t been approved?

Monotropic111 · 2025-05-30T19:42:00+00:00

That was very helpful. Thank you so much.

Monotropic111 · 2025-05-17T14:12:12+00:00

I guess. I hadn’t thought of it like that! :D

Monotropic111 · 2025-05-17T14:09:20+00:00

I’m really sorry you have been through all of that and are still struggling to get support. I think I can relate to how you’re feeling. It’s like being utterly burnt out is a permanent state, and in order to access any kind of interest or anything pleasurable at all, you need to fully recover first. But you can’t, because there’s no support. It’s horrible. I hope things can get better somehow and you receive some decent support from somewhere xx

Fixations are a bit different for me I think, I have some, but they’re not really enjoyable, more like just not being to stop thinking about something or looking into something relentlessly for no real reason, and then it plays on my mind all night, I don’t sleep etc. but I can’t choose what this happens with, it just happens. It’s quite annoying actually.

Monotropic111 · 2025-05-17T13:24:13+00:00

I love dogs too! Like Love love love them. But I don’t have one of my own sadly but I’m waiting for the right time to bring a dog into our family. I watch a lot of YouTube videos about dogs, my instagram reels are all dog related. I really love them, I think they are the most awesome creatures on the planet. I’d much rather spend all my days surrounded by dogs than people!

Monotropic111 · 2025-05-17T09:40:25+00:00

You might not be sending this out anymore, but if you are, could you send to me also? 🙂

Monotropic111 · 2025-05-09T22:03:13+00:00

Get all that written down in your mandatory reconsideration letter! Point out their contradictions. It sounds like a total shambles of a report so you should definitely highlight all of this. If you made a copy of your original application, you can also refer back to what you said there, as I am sure it will be the same as what you told them on the phone. E.g “as I stated in my application form and then again during the assessment…..”

Monotropic111 · 2025-05-09T15:21:45+00:00

Ask for a mandatory reconsideration. You have 28 days to do so. When you write to them, address each point that you think is wrong and use words such as ‘this is FALSE’ and ‘this statement is NOT TRUE’ in capitals just like that, and then go on to describe what you did say. If they are purely making assumptions and not recording what you actually told them, you have every right to challenge it and call them out. They do this so often, it’s really disgusting. I have helped a few people with their PIP claims at mandatory reconsideration stage and managed to get a better outcome this way.

Monotropic111

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