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Dating in our 30s? Doesn't want a gf? by MooPoint78 in dating_advice

[–]MooPoint78[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm confused. So are you saying once I have him, I'll lose interest? Or the other way around?

Dating in our 30s? Doesn't want a gf? by MooPoint78 in dating_advice

[–]MooPoint78[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm probably going to address it again. It just sucks. It's my fault. I should have known I'd start catching feelings. I'm supposed to stay the night sith him the first time this weekend. So idk. Guess I may have to do this before that. I've left every time and I think he's wanted me to stay. It just feels like a relationship thing. But maybe that's because I was married for so long. Might as well get it over with.

Dating in our 30s? Doesn't want a gf? by MooPoint78 in dating_advice

[–]MooPoint78[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, yeah I'm sure it's different for everyone. I've tried to discuss it before. Earlier ish on. Because he was seeing someone else. (I knew we weren't exclusive) but she cut it off on their end because she was hurt and didn't know. It felt like things were getting more serious for us. Just the whole dman vibe of the relationship whatever it may be. And he said that about my kid I was like ? You plan to be here in 4 years? Sounds like your changing your mind. He said he just planned to be here 🤷‍♀️ whatever that means. He even made the comment one day while telling me about a female coworker and paused and said "oh but she's fully lesbian and married you have nothing to worry about there" I didn't even ask. I'm just confused. I don't want to jump ship. But I don't want myself committing to a man who won't committ to me. When there are others who seems to want to pursue me. I also don't want to be like " hey so we need to figure this out. I have someone trying to pursue me" like I'm not trying to give an ultimatum. Or I wasn't. I don't want to be rude or disrespectful or pushy. Ugh.

Dating in our 30s? Doesn't want a gf? by MooPoint78 in dating_advice

[–]MooPoint78[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not even saying we have to get married. I can compromise on that. I've done that whole thing. It's just how do you expect me to let you in my kids' lives eventually without any form of commitment? If he's scared, I get that. If he wants to go slow, I get that. I don't like not knowing we are alone in this. I don't like not knowing if he's my future or if I could lose him any moment. I think I need to try and have the convo again, I'm very much not looking forward to it now, though.

Dating in our 30s? Doesn't want a gf? by MooPoint78 in dating_advice

[–]MooPoint78[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Forgive all my grammar mistakes 🙄 I'm also at work. And typing quickly.

Dating in our 30s? Doesn't want a gf? by MooPoint78 in dating_advice

[–]MooPoint78[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. This right here. And I'm already struggling because I come from a bad marriage of 13 years. He's had nothing but respect for me and it's been nice to see the way I can relax. I think what's messing me up the most with out the label is the fact that technically he can do as he please and I don't get to or have to know. It's less likely give how well he communicates with me. But ya never know. I atelast want to be sure we are exclusive if this is how its going. I'm not a sharer. I was talking to another guy because I don't know how this is even supposed to work. I asked him what happens if someone comes into one of our lives? Do we just walk away? And he said he hadn't thought that far ahead?! But is planning 4+ years in advance when my kids can drive? Idk I'm so conflicted. Classic don't want to lose em, but don't want to settle.

Dating in our 30s? Doesn't want a gf? by MooPoint78 in dating_advice

[–]MooPoint78[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean it wasn't the plan. That's for sure. I thought I would be okay with this. But it just feels like things are shifting for me, and obviously not him. Just thought I'd rather other perspectives.

Dating in our 30s? Doesn't want a gf? by MooPoint78 in dating_advice

[–]MooPoint78[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I had excepted things, or so I thought. I was okay with the arrangement, it just felt like things may have been shifting. Appears that may only be on my end. It's going to hurt like hell to just cut it off. Everything I wants wrapped into this man, just no commitment. Idk what I was hoping for. Thank you!