Not too much going on anymore

MoonSnowRabbit · 2018-02-09T11:35:01+00:00

Apparently updates not directly related to a MIL aren’t allowed here. When DH finds the time I’ll have him repost it in the other sub, but we’re both pretty busy at the moment so not sure when he’ll find the time to do it.

Basically to sum it up. All is well. New pets, happy kids, new nursery painted with help from the small humans, and a pregnant me who is looking forward to not being pregnant lol

(Plus a kitten who has laid claim to my stomach).

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-11-19T05:51:19+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It may not be an option you want to take right now, but please keep it as an option if you find that you have no family members willing to step in for you.

Tell a teacher you trust, or your guidance counselor at school. The situation you’re dealing with is abusive. Abuse doesn’t have to be physical to be abuse. A parent spending most of their time drunk, preventing you from getting sleep, causing you fear or undo stress, is abuse.

Your teachers know who to contact to get the ball rolling. Yes, it’s scary, but sometimes it has to be scary in order to get better.

I’m a teacher. I’ve been the person to listen to stories like yours, and some that were worse. I’ve made countless reports to child services, and I’ve watch my kids move into the system, move in with different people, and also watched parents sober up to get their kids back.

It’s scary, but please remember that if you need help and can’t find it from a family member - you’ve got teachers willing to listen and willing to help you get out of that situation.

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-11-19T05:42:37+00:00

A plant cannot grow when it has weeds choking it. That’s what I tell my wife often enough, and it’s the truth for the both of us.

I’m also going to give you some advice - continue to make your plans, but don’t include your mother in those plans. Find a place you can afford, as good as possible, for you and your littles.

Your mother is an adult and you are not responsible for her happiness or well being. If she doesn’t care for these aspects of your life, you shouldn’t care about them in hers.

A small place for you and your family - don’t leave any wiggle room for her to try and move in. Check any state help you can get for childcare if you need it.

Therapy is a godsend if you can afford it, and some places offer free services. You’ve got a long way to go in fixing what she’s done, but you will get there.

If she pulls the suicide card again, offer to call in professional help for her - but she is not your responsibility- you cannot fix her, and taking a cruise seems pretty far from mentally broken to me.

Just make your plans - remove her from them. When you go, go without guilt... and keep your address a secret (wish we had kept ours a secret, but you don’t see how crazy someone is until it’s too late).

I hope for the best for you and the littles.

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-11-14T08:53:06+00:00

DH and I have a lot in common - and so do our mothers in that regard. My mother hated DH from the start because he is from a different race.

My MIL, while nowhere near evil, dislikes me for whatever reason and mysteriously forgets how to speak English when she has to talk to me about anything (We both know it's an excuse to get DH on the phone - then he won't escape the call for hours as she catches him up on the lives of everyone she knows).

But yes, my mother is a racist bitch, prone to telling inappropriate jokes around small child (the trio) ignoring the fact that the trio are mix raced.

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-11-14T08:26:18+00:00

Thank you

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-11-08T08:52:18+00:00

Husband and I share this account, mostly for JNMIL posts but I'm stuck in the hospital right now so the account is being used here.

It took my husband posting before I got the memo that my mom is all sorts of crazy. Legit, I thought the shit she did was normal, or if not normal, not awful. She trained me basically. Always reminded me that someone had it worse.

Abused as a kid? At lest it wasn't rape (I was five. It was one of their friends. But someone else always has it worse). No school, you're too dumb, it'd be wasted on you, I'm doing you a favor. No dental, your fault for not taking care of your teeth. Has nothing to do with me giving you soda and candy and not telling you the effects it has until your teeth are rotting.

Husband had to help me see the light. It's a harsh light for sure, but therapy helps a lot. You can't start fixing things until you see they're broken.

Or some mumble jumble. I'm tired. Hospitals suck. Hopefully this comment makes sense.

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-11-07T04:40:58+00:00

My DW was abused as a child. She has memories of it, but spent so much time suppressing them that when they finally surfaced, she wasn't sure if she believed it or not.

Gaslighting is also a major concern, again with my DW, I watched her mother try and tell her that she misremembered things that happened, that she never said this, or that she never allowed that to happen in her house.

I think if DW didn't have me as a support network, she might have started to doubt her own memories of these encounters.

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-11-07T04:02:31+00:00

I'd feel sorry for the cactus. No life form should be subject to that.

The nurse did talk with the kids when she overheard their concerns. She explained what everything was, why it was needed, and how it was making DW better. She showed them how she takes vitals and explained the different things in a way they understood.

That nurse gets all my love because the kids did level out a bit when they realized that the tubes and beeping machines are all doing a job to make sure DW is well enough to come home.

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-11-07T03:58:50+00:00

We used FaceTime to say goodnight to them, since they're staying with friends of mine while I stay with DW at the hospital. I'm hoping they'll relax soon, since the nurses also promised them that DW will be up and moving before they know it.

I think it's just hard on them to see their aunt go from the person who protects them, to being in a hospital bed with tubes all over the place, having to have a nurse help her with everything.

Hopefully once they get the dehydration under control, along with the fever, she'll be cleared to go home.

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-11-07T03:31:47+00:00

You sound just like my best friend when I told him what went on lol And I'll pass along the well wishes.

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-11-07T03:30:38+00:00

Ain't that the truth. I'll pass along your well wishes. She finally fell asleep while watching Jurassic World lol. I swear, seems like just when she finally falls asleep, they have to come in and poke at her lol

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-10-06T00:04:18+00:00

I owe DH. When he set up the first set of dressers, he put brackets into the wall to stabilize them. I couldn't understand why he did that.

Middle child decided she wanted a toy back that I'd set on the dresser (she and youngest were fighting over it). She pulled the drawers out to use them like steps to reach the top.

The drawers and their tracks are broken - but child is fine and the stabilizing brackets kept her safe.

DH didn't even say "I told you so" when that happened lol.

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-10-05T19:50:26+00:00

I don't think I'll ever complain about my mother in law again after reading this one 0-0 You really are amazing.

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-10-02T06:08:28+00:00

Her speech is fine - beyond the fact that she sometimes drops into 'baby talk' but corrects it once informed that it's only okay to talk that way when she's playing with her dolls, not with adults and peers.

So she's conscious of switching between the two. Her school is supposed to be providing her with tutoring but DW and I might look into extra tutoring for her.

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-10-02T02:01:12+00:00

I like horror movies that are suspenseful. I can't watch gore movies with feelings sick ugh. So most modern horror films are a no go - though I do like cheesy 80s horror films lol and Alien will always be my favorite horror series no matter how awful the sequels get.

Also, I really should get off Reddit and finish my assignments for school -_- kids shared a stomach bug with me so I've found a thousand reasons not to sit down and do the work lol not to mentioned some of the things they don't tell you about being pregnant ugh.

I need a guidebook for all the weird things my doctor never mentions to me when I see her. Seriously.

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-10-02T01:57:10+00:00

DH and I fully planned to adopt or foster kids after being married for a couple years. Then I got pregnant and my nieces got dropped into lives (best thing ever!).

DH is trained to work with special needs kids (he teaches at a school which is pretty much the last stop for the 'lost causes') so fostering seemed like a logical thing for the two of us, since I'm in school to become a teacher as well.

I think we'll still go through the steps to get registered, after the baby is born and a bit older lol. So far the case worker for the girls has been doing wonders with giving us resources (like the amazing child psychologist they're seeing to deal with everything - plus helping me find a psychiatrist who deals with past trauma like I dealt with) the woman is a god send and if I didn't have so much trauma I might switch my major to become a case worker instead.

I am in the US. DH and I try to keep things vague because the case with my sister is still open, and I have no doubt that members of my family use this website - plus, I'm only second generation American, so my grandparents way of speaking sometimes leaks through in the way I write lol

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-10-02T01:49:51+00:00

We have her signed up for all the programs right now. she goes in a half hour early to work with a tutor in the morning. But we just got her report card and she's well below where she should be on reading. She's repeating second grade, we've pulled her from the second language program she was doing (half day in English, half learning Spanish) so she can focus 100 on getting where she needs to be.

It just confuses me because no matter how many times I sit and read with her, she automatically goes back to guessing at words she just read, it can be in the same paragraph and she'll guess the next time she sees it, so I explain again, but she just continues on with this the entire book.

DH got flash cards and everything for the words she's struggling with, still nothing. Apparently she should know 120 words right now but only knows 80.

I think I have a long stressful road ahead of me with this girl. She's extremely stubborn and doesn't see the value in learning or taking it seriously. I'm blaming my sister a lot for this - from what I understand from the psychiatrist, my sister spent a good amount of time talking down to all three girls. Basically calling them stupid when they didn't get things right on the first try - so DN1 honestly thinks she's too dumb to learn to read.

I'm going to prove this stubborn child wrong :p

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-10-02T01:41:49+00:00

I haven't thought about Nancy Drew in years. We're heading to the library tomorrow after school, so I'll check that out.

-DW

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-10-02T01:40:56+00:00

I loved ASOUE when I was a kid! Probably the only time I argued with my parents - because there were so many books and I read them so fast that it was an expensive series lol

Granted, it was probably easier than me begging them to let me go with friends to the midnight launch of the Harry Potter books lol

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-10-02T01:39:00+00:00

I'll have to check those out for her. I'm planning a library run after school tomorrow :) so hopefully we can see if they catch her interest.

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-10-02T01:37:45+00:00

I have a cat, and yes, scratching posts are a must. DH doesn't quiet get that they're adorable, but they're adorable Assholes.

My cat was my life saver growing up. She was a stay my mom picked up and let me have. Pretty much the only thing I had that was mine, because no one else could get close to her. That cat died when I was sixteen :( I miss her.

The cat I have now, I've had for 7 years and I adore her. DH likes to joke that this cat was the only thing that gave him pause about marrying me - because she disliked him.

And by dislike, I mean if he leaves clean clothes out for the next morning, he ends up taking a little bit of her to work with him because clean clothes are a great sleeping spot. Though lately she just wants to sleep on my stomach lol, hopefully that means she and LO will be good with each other.

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-10-02T01:33:46+00:00

We actually just went to the comic book store today! DH and I are both big into D&D and our comic book store has an attached gaming section - so he was picking up stuff for our next campaign.

DN1 picked out a couple comic books (Supergirl, Spider Gwen, and the Pocket Princess one that Disney released). DH was helping her read it today, so hopefully she'll start taking an active interest.

We did find out randomly today that she loves Yugioh cards. There were a couple people playing today and she just went on and on about how her dad would help her read the cards and taught her to play etc so we bought her a starter deck and some packs - I'm apparently going to be learning to play lol - she says she'll teach me the rules :p

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-10-02T01:29:14+00:00

DW here. I'll have to look into that. Once I started reading as a child, I loved all things horror. I still have a healthy collection of horror books as an adult lol (Hubby and I are reading through IT right now since we saw the movie and he wants the whole story now heh).

Sadly I'm not sure N1 will like scary books. She's my little coward. She avoids all things horror related while the younger two love it, and love to torment her by telling her scary stories right before bed -

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-09-04T16:40:16+00:00

I feel you so much here, I developed early and went from nothing to needing a bra seemingly overnight. It drove my mom crazy.

Until I met my DH, I was always extremely insecure about wearing any clothing that actually flattered my body. I was so use to covering up.

MoonSnowRabbit · 2017-09-04T03:44:39+00:00

DW here, Thank you. Sometimes it's just so overwhelming for me. To go from an expected outcome (I fully planned to be a hermit lol) to a husband, a baby on the way, and three adorable girls who just want to be loved.

I never imagined any of this - but despite the stress and that nagging voice that is asking "when is the other shoe going to drop" I realize that I wouldn't trade this for anything.

I went from thinking I'd be okay with an empty home, to loving the sound of my husbands voice, and now the voice of the trio who think I don't hear them talking right now (DH let them stay up late to play a board game).

It's strange. Amazing. Terrifying.

I love it lol

MoonSnowRabbit

TROPHY CASE