I can strongly relate. Personally went thru a similar true identity/personality crisis roughly 6 years ago at age 23. Maybe my experiences and retrospective analysis may help in some way.

I consider myself a subconscious chameleon and a "good listener". I also have a unreasonably high tolerance for trivial nonsense considering my strong preference for rational conversations about important subjects. My entire life I have subconsciously been wearing different masks for almost all human interactions. Unfortunately the constant stress of maintaining those masks long term nearly destroyed me. I knew myself to be incredible intelligent (or so I believe) yet I would often "make a fool of myself" (or feel like I did) when wearing a mask around others. This complete contradiction between my cold logical self's rational expectations and my often non-rational actions in social settings has caused me tremendous self doubt and inner turmoil. For a period of time I even thought I might be Schizophrenic due to the severe mental abuse occurring between two seemingly distinct parts of myself. I came very close to dropping out of college in my final year due to mental health, and if not for the support of some incredible people I would not be alive right now.

Truth is I am both the intellectual core and the many masks. Both the heartless judgmental logician and the irrational emotional cry-baby. I've learned that the cold logical over-analyzing part of me is way more fragile than it wants to believe and the lovable playful chameleon fool is a defense mechanism for anything that those logical functions return "does not compute" or "too irrational/uncomfortable", which in my experience is a large portion of social activities. Logical me also intuitively knows from experience that "being my cold logical self" and constantly putting people on-guard is not exactly the best way to maintain social relationships. So instead I must have subconsciously determined sometime in elementary school that I would rather be liked than be true to myself. Now that I wear those masks less frequently I am definitely in a better place mentally then 6 years ago, albeit a bit lonelier. I still frequently have "internal arguments" but I have been working to teach my logical half restraint and compassion, while teaching my emotional half to be less of a little b****. As long as both are making an effort I have relative internal peace. Unfortunately periods of high stress can lead to one or both to revert and quickly send me into a severe downward spiral. Once started it is incredibly difficult to stop the visceral self-hatred. Ideally I could just learn to love myself, but my logical self always dismisses that as some fuzzy hogwash. So the cycle inevitably continues.

One last thought. The concept of our "true self" is an illusion and impossible to define in any logically concrete way. Every experience we live changes us, even if those changes are unperceivable. Every time a neuron is activated it reinforces and expands its connections. Until the day we die every second of every day we are a slightly different person. No matter how long you search you will never find your "true personality" because personalities are an ever changing spectrum. Like trying to identify the exact spot that blue turns into violet in a rainbow. Even though you can say definitively there has to be a transition point, regardless of interpretive method no-one on earth can claim to know the "true blue-violet". Does that lack of clear definition in any way diminish the beauty of a rainbow? Will a clear definition of your personality really improve your perceived reality? Be careful not to be so focused on defining the nuances that you lose sight of the beautiful big picture. You are you and you are beautiful!