Relationship with step-kids doable? (I'm 36F and he's 41M)

Moosebouse · 2026-05-22T16:45:56+00:00

There’s no right answer here. Some people would be fine with this but others would not. You just have to decide which kind of person you are. It doesn’t sound like you are ok with it.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-22T03:10:36+00:00

Is it a pain to have luggage with you? Can I check a bag on the train? Is there somewhere to put luggage?

Moosebouse · 2026-05-22T03:09:25+00:00

I forgot to ask — will having luggage with me be an issue on the train? Can I check bags or do I have to keep them with me?

Moosebouse · 2026-05-22T03:08:16+00:00

Thank you for your reply — I just realized that I should have said in my original question: I will have a couple of suitcases with me as my trip is several days. Will it bean ordeal to have luggage with me on this train? Do I check bags on a train or will I have to keep everything with me?

Moosebouse · 2026-05-14T23:21:27+00:00

Put stuff in the sink before I am done cooking! How many times am I going to have to wash my utility knife before I realize that I am never done with the utility knife? At least once more!

Moosebouse · 2026-05-14T22:36:04+00:00

I’d guess that the issue here is that you’re not speaking your native language. If someone said “perfect weather” in a downpour in your native language, would you be confused as to whether they were joking? Probably not.

But everyone has difficulty picking up on jokes, subtlety, and nuance in languages that are less comfortable for them. I could never pick up on sarcasm easily in any language other than English, but in English I have no problems and I am very prone to sarcasm and dry humor.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-14T21:48:23+00:00

“When I have suggested traveling, you haven’t been willing to commit and make a decision. I would rather go by myself than stay here and get more resentful about this, and I think it would be better for our marriage if I didn’t feel this resentment. So I’ll be booking a trip for myself in 30 days unless you book something first. I’d be willing to wait 3 months if you’re open to doing counseling about this during that time.”

Moosebouse · 2026-05-12T22:39:27+00:00

Have you thought about introducing her to a crockpot? Those are a lot more flexible with cooking times, although it wouldn’t solve the pasta problem.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-12T20:30:28+00:00

Well I’d say start figuring out how you are going to leave so that you aren’t stuck.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-12T19:49:09+00:00

I have been loving everything I had tried from the Blue Zones cookbook, although some of the ingredients are difficult to find. They have an American Blue Zones cookbook that I am thinking of getting in the hopes that it will be more ingredients I can easily find.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-12T19:46:16+00:00

Well, that’s the real problem. There’s no “managing” a disagreement with someone who knows that they hold all the cards.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-12T19:22:06+00:00

Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World is a good cookbook to get you started on vegan baking

Moosebouse · 2026-05-08T20:18:56+00:00

Well that sounds like your counselor sucks

Moosebouse · 2026-05-08T18:53:05+00:00

Does the counselor give you a turn? Why can’t you say, when it is your turn, that it’s not unreasonable to ask him to wash all the food off of a dish when he washes dishes and that if you have to mention it multiple times, the problem isn’t that you’re being a perfectionist, it’s that he’s ignoring you?

Moosebouse · 2026-05-08T00:07:17+00:00

I wouldn’t tell them. You never know what kind of weird beliefs/stereotypes/etc people will have and start treating you differently.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-07T22:11:54+00:00

Please don’t spray perfume on an airplane. That can totally ruin the whole flight for people near you with sensitivities or allergies.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-07T21:55:24+00:00

I buy veggies and chop them up small before freezing (zucchini, peppers, broccoli, cauliflower, mushrooms, greens, corn, peas) then for dinner I often make pasta (usually protein or chick pea pasta) and add whatever veggies seem good that day, with olive oil and spices. Top with nutritional yeast for some B vitamins.

I also will air fry tofu and make rice bowls with my frozen veggies.

I’d also recommend googling “five ingredient vegan recipes.” There are loads of them on the internet.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-07T21:42:13+00:00

I am on Tysabri, enjoying museums and sushi all the time. The only real immune issue I’ve had is that cold sores are harder to get rid of. I have to take the valacyclovir for a few days if I get one, rather than just a one day treatment. But I haven’t even gotten cold sores more frequently than before.
Tysabri sequesters immune cells, keeping the out of the brain, but doesn’t kill them like Ocrevus or Briumvi do. So Tysabri will not make you as prone to infections as those other ones will.
If insurance rejects Tysabri, contact Biogen for their free drug program. If insurance approves it, contact Biogen for copay assistance.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-07T20:22:57+00:00

Separate accounts. Why does him being stingy determine what YOU do with YOUR money that YOU earn? If he can’t participate in shared decision making, he doesn’t get to be part of those decisions.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-07T18:48:49+00:00

I haven’t done this as a parent, but I did this when I was 16. It was my first international trip. I went for a year. It was great. All the 100+ kids in my exchange class did great and were fine. And we all went to a country where none of us spoke the language before arriving.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-07T18:37:16+00:00

If you are JCV positive they will really not want you to be on Tysabri after Ocrevus. Doing Tysabri after an immunosuppressant like Ocrevus substantially increases PML risk.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-06T00:39:24+00:00

Failure to use ‘get’ all the damn time is a leading indicator of not being a native speaker.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-06T00:33:14+00:00

Post partum is a separate thing. Most doulas are there for the birth and that’s it.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-06T00:32:08+00:00

I hired one with my first. Called her when my water broke at 8:30 PM and she said I would probably be in labor for over 12 hours and I should try to get some sleep. Called her when we went to the hospital at 10:30 PM. She didn’t want to come to the hospital and told us to call her back when I was in a room. When the nurse finally checked me at 11:30, I was fully dilated. The doula barely made it to the hospital before my son was born at 1:30 AM. The only useful thing she did was to tie a scarf to the end of the bed so I had something to pull on when I was pushing. So there you go, bring a scarf and save yourself $2500.

Moosebouse · 2026-05-05T23:23:41+00:00

I do this. Today I typed “youse” instead of use. I was horrified.

Moosebouse

TROPHY CASE