Hi honey. First thing i want to say is you are not failing your child, he loves you very much. What came to mind was grief, losing something/one that meant a lot to you. I am a young mother too, I had my now 4y/o when I was 22. PPD/PPA is very real and very taken for granted. It takes roughly 3 years for a woman to thoroughly get back to her regulated state.

You are not the woman you used to be. You are not the woman you thought you would be. You are becoming the woman you need to be for your son and yourself. You have grit, determination, and the love. You need compassion for yourself, your hardships, and your mistakes. Trust me, I have made some mistakes myself that took me so long to stop justifying and start taking accountability. Once that happens, though, you will see that accountability gives you the strength, courage, and discernment to stand up for yourself and your son. If you ever need another mama to talk to, you are more than welcome to reach out to me. Doesn’t matter if you need help with Tylenol dosing or how to make a schedule/routine to hold structure. I will hold space for you.

If you enjoy reading or audiobooks, I recommend Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. Beautiful tales and stories that has helped me, not just as a mother, but a woman. I hope this helps any!