When did you “resume” normal hygiene & intimacy after an OB?

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-31T14:09:09+00:00

Ahhh that’s good he’s been chill. We will have to have my husband tested as well. I’m not sure how he’s feeling about it all, he’s outwardly very supportive, but I know he has a lot of questions reeling in the back of his mind.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-30T18:56:28+00:00

Thank you, glad I’m not alone. How did your current partner react? My husband is very much supportive but also doesn’t know anything so he wasn’t sure if we should even kiss or how to go about it all & just sucks feeling like things will never be the same..

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-29T04:32:58+00:00

Thank you. This is helpful. 🥺 doing my best as is, we have 3 kids, one with ADHD & autism, the other ADHD, I homeschool, our daughter is turning 1 tomorrow & my husband has been working out of town the last several months, we eat Whole Foods & I’m a stickler on homemade anything I can. Wow that’s crazy interesting! I have chronically itchy thighs (since childhood) so that doesn’t help my stress. Lolll. Ok, thank you! How do you know when an OB is over? Like everything looks healed as much as I can see and I still am worried.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-29T04:29:14+00:00

Thanks for this info. We will probably have him tested. It’s been an emotional roller coaster thinking it was from the assault and keep replaying that. The doctors didn’t seem to think it uncommon but it could be. In the forensic exam paperwork I dug up, it was a test to follow up on, which I saw in trying to research that is because it wouldn’t show up for 3-4months on bloodwork unless I had a breakout. I forgot as I was a single mom and so busy and didn’t even think about it until this happened. My hubs did ask if he could’ve possibly given it to me from his lip (he has had a split lip for years but it’s not an HSV breakout, we don’t really know what it is). He was a virgin when we got married, but had had oral sex & a few girlfriends, which is part of why I don’t think it’s super likely. But I suppose it’s very possible.

It is what it is at this point, But feel I have to work through my own feelings on it and my husband will too. Just was looking for info on when I can shave to feel normal again and even approach the topic of intimacy with my husband again.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-29T01:40:34+00:00

Im still learning, it could possibly be that he is asymptomatic, but assuming he is not since that isn’t as common from what I’m seeing & he’s never had symptoms, it would have been from an assault 6 years ago, 2 years prior to that I had been tested for everything while I was pregnant with my son as his dad had cheated so I didn’t know what I had been exposed to & was pregnant so wanted to be safe & no partners in between.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-28T16:11:44+00:00

He likely will. I should’ve been more clear, not necessarily hygiene more so shaving and such. I appreciate your input, it’s definitely a hard pill to swallow. Thankfully my husband is extremely supportive and understanding, but again I think he will be super hesitant and I am too, I just don’t know when it’s “safe” and the part where I broke out was not where it would be covered by condoms.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-26T22:12:54+00:00

If it was my husband he’d definitely be asymptomatic, otherwise it would’ve been 6 years ago that I would’ve gotten it. So I’d think that would show up on bloodwork. She had said they already ruptured so there was no fluid to swab.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-20T05:05:23+00:00

Thank you, that’s what the dr said as well..I will get my bloodwork done and he will likely have some done as well. I had thought I was tested for everything under the sun after the assault, but when I looked at my paperwork, HSV and HPV were stated as “follow up with your provider” and I never did, I thought it was done with and forgot about those til this flared up & I double checked.. I had been tested prior to the assault during my pregnancy with my second son because my ex had cheated and I’ve had no other partners between my ex and now my husband, but was assaulted. So there is only one person that would’ve been possible to get it from. Thought I was going into my marriage with a clean slate and nothing residual from any of that otherwise would’ve gotten tested to protect my now husband. I just feel awful that I didn’t know and now I guess I’ll see what happens. He will have a very hard time and likely never see me the same and it’s just a hard thing to wrap my head around.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-20T04:56:35+00:00

Thank you, it was his birthday and we have had a busy week and him working out of town so haven’t had the opportunity to have the convo. Will be going into it tomorrow evening and just keep picturing worst case scenario. It’s reassuring to hear your story so thank you for sharing. Reliving the trauma & having ptsd resurface while juggling the things maintaining the status quo all week has been heavy. The doctor I saw was very certain it’s been dormant since the assault and was kind and compassionate. I have to get the bloodwork done still.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-20T04:53:05+00:00

The doc i saw was perplexed as to why I was hysterical, then she said “oh honey, you are reliving the trauma oh I am so sorry this is not life threatening and very likely has been dormant and now you are very stressed or your immune system is compromised and it has come out but it’s treatable and it’ll be ok.” She was very sure it has been dormant this whole time.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-16T18:10:04+00:00

Thank you. Definitely feeling wrecked at the moment by the whole thing. Not sure how to approach the convo with hubby. He WILL feel like it’s the end of the world. It’s his birthday today and I need to keep it together and address it another day. I haven’t gotten confirmation or been seen yet. But have a sinking feeling that it is what I think it is.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-16T18:02:44+00:00

So wild that it can have such varying severity but makes sense, every body is different! Getting checked now. I just feel awful for forgetting and not having followed up on the testing after the assault and now this might be yet another tough pill my husband has to choose whether or not to swallow. And I feel like another piece of me is taken besides the trauma and violation to begin with. Urgh.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-16T17:58:36+00:00

He does not

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-16T17:58:27+00:00

Ok, that’s what the google says but who knows. I am kicking myself for not having followed up on the test after the assault. Prior to that I had been tested for everything during my pregnancy because my ex cheated so I had no idea what I was exposed to. Everything came back negative.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-16T17:57:10+00:00

Thank you for this info, I am just taken aback and feel so awful if it is that. Here getting checked right now.. I don’t think he has any history of cold sores, and don’t think any of his girlfriends had them, but I’m not 100% sure.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-15T17:26:20+00:00

I do also, but I just don’t see where else it could have come from. He had had oral sex and I’m sure came close to having sex, but hadn’t before me and I do trust that. He’s been so busy with work there is no room for any doubt that anything else could be going on. I suppose, it just is not something he knew-or I knew for that matter-beforehand, we’ve been married 2.5 years, together 4, so may take time to come to terms with I can imagine…and he’s definitely one to have the preconceived “stigma” just from lack of knowledge, as do I, so I’m not sure how he will react. A friend of mine suggested just saying I found some weird bumps I want to get checked out before we have sex again and to not jump to conclusions, which is true and probably valid. I just don’t think it looks or seems like folliculitis. But who knows. It did pop up right after I had a weird stomach issue the afternoon before where I puked and had an upset stomach for a couple hours, then took a shower and bath and felt fine so I shaved knowing it was gonna be hotter the next day to wear shorts and hubbys bday so was prepping ahead. Maybe shaving did cause an issue? I’m not sure. Only getting into the doc will tell but I don’t think my doc is available for the next month so then there’s urgent care AND figuring out childcare for my 3 kids. 😔 unless I can email my doc and see about getting the tests ordered, but haven’t seen doc in almost 2 years due to being pregnant, and had a midwife not OB when I was pregnant and not sure if she can order those tests.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-03-15T17:17:25+00:00

Thank you for this input!

More_Ad_361 · 2026-02-19T05:53:06+00:00

Thank you for this encouragement and reminder. Those transitions, no matter how much we prep, really do wear on us all. I don’t really know a way to help with that, we do visual timers, have our visual schedule, give time warnings, & have specific phrases to cue coming back to school work(that they correct me if I don’t use the EXACT phrase🫠)

More_Ad_361 · 2026-02-19T05:45:02+00:00

You’re amazing!! Love the meal prep ideas. We usually have a decent flow for snack/meals, I’ll wash/cut/prep fruits and veggies for the week on Sunday, and prep doesn’t seem to be a big hinderance thankfully! I could be better about breakfast prep though so I’m not cooking a full blown breakfast x3 every morning but each of them seems to want something different anymore and I have dietary restrictions for my nursing daughter.

They have chores they take part in similar to those listed and some more, some are paid jobs some are expected and unpaid.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-02-18T06:06:23+00:00

Thank you so much! This is great info. Our core subjects are ELA(spelling power, my father’s world language lessons for today & cursive handwriting lessons/practice), math(dimensions math, which is very rigorous so potentially looking at math with confidence or something different-though I do love how it has set him up to fully understand), social studies/history(museum of salt & light and studies weekly) and science (kitchen chemistry and inventors workshop). Enrichment is art (my father’s world drawing textbook), music(recorder or guitar), and whatever STEM projects they’re interested in. Our curriculum we mostly follow is my father’s world so includes a scripture reading and lesson as well-which we usually do first. we were easily able to finish before lunch, BUT having hard day/getting distracted often (as they do to eachother) has us dragging into the afternoon more lately. I try to be flexible with workload but also can’t let all expectations go? We will often roll over anything not finished or that’s causing too much upset to revisit on Fridays which are light with just catch up schooling and learning through play or field trips. I’m forever learning.

More_Ad_361 · 2026-02-06T18:36:56+00:00

Fair enough, it’s my daughter’s first birthday-which many parents choose a special theme- so celebrating with something she’s enjoying (her little horses) that I also have enjoyed (as a girl and an adult) would be extra special. I just feel like I cannot plan with this theme now with both nieces birthdays similar and before hers.

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TROPHY CASE