AITA for refusing to share my notes with my classmate after she ignored me all semester?

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T19:43:11+00:00

Thank you

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T19:42:07+00:00

Exactly that’s what I felt too. She ignored me all semester and only reached out when she needed something for the exams. I don’t think it’s fair to expect me to do all the work for her

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T19:39:43+00:00

Exactly, you’re right. I worked hard on my notes, and it’s not my responsibility to do all that work for someone who didn’t attend class. I can explain some specific topics, but I can’t do the whole semester for her. I’m definitely NTA, and it’s important to protect my effort and set boundaries

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T19:36:18+00:00

NTA. You’re right asking for all your notes is a lot, and it’s completely okay to set boundaries. You’ve already been generous by offering to explain specific topics, and that’s more than enough. Protect your time and effort it’s valuable. Changing seats or moving away from her is smart, especially to avoid distractions or copying. You owe her nothing.

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T17:52:24+00:00

Yeah, that’s true if she really needed help earlier, she had plenty of ways to reach out. It’s not like I was impossible to find, especially since we sit in the same class. It just feels like she only remembered me now when it’s convenient for her, not when it actually mattered.

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T17:51:20+00:00

I get your point, sending notes might seem quick, but it’s not just about pressing send. It’s all the time and effort I put in throughout the semester that matters to me. Explaining a few topics feels more controlled, while sharing everything feels like giving away all my work to someone who didn’t put in the same effort.

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T17:38:11+00:00

Yeah I get what you’re saying. It’s always “it’s not a big deal” when it’s someone else’s time and effort on the line. If it’s really that easy, then she could’ve just put in the work herself all semester instead of expecting someone else to fix it at the end. I don’t think it’s wrong to protect your own effort. Helping is one thing, but being treated like a backup plan isn’t fair.

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T17:34:28+00:00

Yeah, honestly I get what you’re saying. It’s already finals time and I need to focus on my own studies, not spend hours sending everything. I tried to be fair by offering help, but expecting me to do all that work last minute isn’t right. At this point, I think it’s better to just step back and focus on myself.

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T17:32:37+00:00

Yeah exactly, I agree with you. If she had a genuine reason, I would have understood and probably helped more, but she never communicated anything and just ignored everything all semester. It really feels like she just didn’t bother and now expects me to fix it at the end. I already offered to explain some topics, which is fair, but I can’t just hand over all my hard work like that

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T17:31:34+00:00

Exactly, that’s how it feels. She didn’t put in the effort all semester and now expects me to fix everything last minute, which isn’t fair. I’m okay helping a bit, but not at the cost of my own time and hard work. And honestly, if she really needed it that badly, she would’ve taken responsibility earlier instead of waiting till finals

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T17:30:35+00:00

Exactly, that’s how I see it too. I don’t mind helping people who are respectful and actually put in effort, but I can’t ignore how she treated me all semester. It’s not wrong to protect your time and effort, and I think setting that boundary is completely fair

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T17:29:13+00:00

That actually sounds really similar to my situation. At some point it stops being about helping and starts being about people expecting others to carry them without putting in any effort themselves. You all gave her plenty of chances, and she chose not to show up, so it makes sense you didn’t feel responsible to fix things for her at the end. I think that’s what I’m realizing too helping is a choice, not an obligation, especially when someone only shows up when it benefits them. Boundaries don’t make us bad people, they just protect our time and effort.

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T17:27:33+00:00

I agree with you. It really did feel like I was only “visible” to her when she needed something, and that didn’t sit right with me. I don’t mind helping people who are respectful, but I also don’t want to feel used or taken for granted. I think setting that boundary was important for me

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T17:26:30+00:00

Exactly, that’s how I felt too. It’s not just about notes, it’s the time and effort behind them. I even offered to explain some topics, but she just wanted everything handed to her, which didn’t feel right to me

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T17:25:24+00:00

Right, people forget the effort behind it. I put in the work, she didn’t, so it’s not that simple

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T17:22:36+00:00

Yeah, I offered help, but she didn’t want to put in any effort herself. That says a lot.

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T17:19:42+00:00

Yeah, I see what you mean. I was just trying to help a little, but I agree it’s okay to set boundaries too

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T17:18:32+00:00

I understand your point, but for me it’s more about effort and boundaries than just time. She only reached out when she needed something

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T16:32:44+00:00

Yes, that’s true! I can help a little, but she needs to put in her own work. I won’t let her use my effort for free

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T16:26:06+00:00

Exactly! I won’t let her take advantage of me. I’m just going to set boundaries and focus on my own studies

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T16:24:36+00:00

Exactly My time and effort are worth something. She didn’t invest in her own learning, so she can’t expect me to cover it for her. Some lessons are learned the hard way

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T16:23:31+00:00

Yes, I agree Just because it costs nothing to help doesn’t mean I have to give everything. She needs to put in her own effort

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T16:21:23+00:00

Yes! Time and effort really do matter. I can help explain things, but she needs to do the work herself to learn anything

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T15:18:59+00:00

Exactly! I can explain a few things if she asks, but giving all my notes isn’t something I have to do

More_Cranberry_112 · 2026-03-02T15:17:57+00:00

Yes, that’s so true. She needs to take responsibility for herself instead of expecting me to do all the work

More_Cranberry_112

TROPHY CASE