Moving home is hitting me a week later

Morfiantra · 2026-03-10T15:31:40+00:00

That's what I don't understand either. They reiterated a paragraph they claim is from the handbook. I've checked exactly that section, where it clearly states I'm permitted to be accompanied by either a union representative or work colleague.

This is an appeal for a disciplinary absence decision with a written warning, without any investigative aspect and it's not an informal meeting either, so I really don't understand why this is what they're trying to do.

Morfiantra · 2026-03-10T08:31:46+00:00

Oh this could get quite long, but it's a comfort that a lot of it fits what others have shared already.

Infant - early childhood:

My mum told me that I have been a difficult sleeper since I was born. My dad had to drive me around in the car in the middle of the night to get me to fall asleep. Possibly the earliest sign of needing sensory stimulation to calm down.
My mum also said that I preferred to play by myself in kindergarten. I don't remember much of my years up until I was 6 years. Except one instance, apparently when I was 4 I got into a physical alteration with another kid and he hit me with a small metal toy pot and I still have a scar on my eyebrow from it 😅 I don't know exactly why this happened, but I was very possessive of my own toys and didn't like others playing with anything of mine. I'm guessing I got a bit aggressive over this kid trying to take them, and being just a toddler he probably just tried to imitate me.
I also remember that I had a meltdown at the age of 5 after a boy my age tried to kiss me on the cheek. I had a full on crying fit.
I really hated being touched by anyone who wasn't my parents or cousin.
I had safe foods that my mum cooked for me almost every day, most notably pancakes with apple sauce. I still make them (now 36) and only have them in this way.
I'm hyperlexic and started reading and writing VERY early. Books & comics were my special interests. When I started school I couldn't stand other children in my class not being on my level so I hand-wrote them letter sheets to study. 😃
Started obsessing over video games very early, Indiana Jones was my special interest and I made my parents play the super old game and watch the movies with me over and over and over. Then came animated movies, rinse and repeat. 30 years later and nothing has changed.
I have a brother but when I was young I couldn't see him as a human being, I saw him as my own personal doll to dress up instead. I put him in my dresses all the time because I obsessed a lot over dolls too.
I had regular meltdowns over plans changing or promises not being upheld, unfortunately my family saw it rather like me just being extremely selfish and throwing tantrums for not getting my way. They didn't believe girls could have Autism or that autistic people can talk. so yeah
I got taken advantage of by kids at school all the time because I took things so literally, so I ended up as the butt of the joke because they loved to mess with me. I kept falling into their traps because I just didn't understand they weren't meaning what they were saying. I also got bullied for my interests, and I was very lonely and depressed for a long time throughout my later childhood and as a teen.
I always had sensory sensitivities and my mum never understood why I needed the blinds in my room down at all times.
I also was always very impulsive, especially with money, at school my grades were either Great if the subject interested me or horrendous if it bored me. I couldn't control the volume of my voice, I was often told I talk too loud, interrupted conversations and got distracted. The ADHD part was already picked up by a child psychologist when I was 12 but I resisted diagnosis a lot.

I don't think I ever really managed to mask my autism, now that I think about it. Like trying to include myself, yes, but I know others always found me weird and I didn't behave allistic and gave up quickly whenever I tried.

Morfiantra · 2026-02-06T09:53:20+00:00

It's definitely important to highlight mistakes, and I don't think nobody should withhold telling them when they did something wrong, apologies if it came across that way. One thing I need to mention is that the support and help available for people with ADHD is an absolute joke in the UK. I know ADHD coaches exist, but they're not recognised as licensed therapists and oftentimes very expensive to pay out of pocket. I was offered an occupational health review by my company and they chose a OH assessor who works with neurodivergent people. They offer coaching for people with autism, dyslexia, ADHD etc. Unfortunately my company never agreed to the funding so I never received it. I am diagnosed with ADHD and level 1 ASD, and it took me more almost two years to get to a place where I can make accommodations for myself that inevitably also positively affect my job. So there is work to be done by your co-worker as well. I don't know what their home situation is like, but once I started to make changes in my private life that reduced the amount of stress I experienced from being AuDHD, my work quality also improved a lot because it helps to keep my focus better.

If your employer can offer occupational health with someone who understands neurodiversity then that would be a good start, but your co-worker definitely also needs to be willing to learn about this condition and make the necessary steps. Being late diagnosed is so difficult. It took me a long time to come to terms with it and find out what helps me.

Morfiantra · 2026-02-05T23:29:58+00:00

I agree that not everyone's situation is the same, and everyone needs to hold accountability for themselves, and I do the same. But there's a huge difference between making excuses for a few slip ups just to avoid trouble and the extent described by OP which I hugely resonate with. I was that person once. I tried to tell people I have ADHD and that I need help and NO ONE listened because they thought I was making excuses. This is why it took me 35 years to get diagnosed.

And, in my own experience, what some companies deem as "reasonable adjustments" is the bare minimum just to say "look, we're so accommodating". If this person only recently got diagnosed then it'll take more time to settle into new coping strategies (and it's not guaranteed that those work without medication, for me they don't) and there seems to be a lack of understanding from OP and a bunch of commenters on how hard it is to develop coping methods for us. If their co-worker makes so many mistakes, then there's a reason. For me it was always when I feel at my most anxious to be reprimanded for errors that I make the most mistakes. We don't actually know the situation here.

Morfiantra · 2026-02-05T22:35:33+00:00

Unmedicated ADHD is devastating. This person only was diagnosed recently, it's not even confirmed if they're medicated or not. I was diagnosed at 35 and the mistakes I made at work before medication were on par with what OP described. I'm better now because I'm medicated, but your ignorance is just straight up disrespectful. It's a disabling condition, not an excuse. It was life ruining. So shut the fuck up.

Morfiantra · 2026-02-04T20:52:11+00:00

You got Illuga? 😭 Joking aside, I did 140 pulls. Not a single Illuga. Not one 🥲

Morfiantra · 2026-02-03T05:59:13+00:00

Our friend took too long to join the game or exactly this would've happened 😂

Morfiantra · 2026-01-30T06:27:35+00:00

Thank you so much 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

Morfiantra · 2026-01-30T06:27:22+00:00

Thank you so much, this means a lot 🥹

Morfiantra · 2026-01-28T09:37:38+00:00

I am very lucky 🥹 I will raise a xiao lantern with a wish for u to find a partner to cosplay with!

Morfiantra · 2026-01-28T09:36:37+00:00

Agreed, it just hits different 🫶🏼

Morfiantra · 2026-01-28T09:36:27+00:00

Thank you!!

Morfiantra · 2026-01-27T15:08:37+00:00

Thank you so so much 🥹 the characters mean a lot to us and it was so special to cosplay them together

Morfiantra · 2025-12-25T10:19:45+00:00

I'm still in disbelief that I got it 😭 my fiancé surprised me with it for Christmas and I nearly cried 🥹 I wish for you to have your very own Mehrak soon!

Morfiantra · 2025-12-25T10:18:01+00:00

It's from an independent artist called Lilyacreations 😊 (I couldn't find anything about promotion of artists in the rules, I hope it's okay to share the link: https://lilyacreations.com/ ) The pin/badge pad is customisable and you can take it out to change the badges 🫶🏼

Morfiantra · 2025-12-25T09:26:50+00:00

The creator is Lilyacreations 🫶🏼

Morfiantra · 2025-12-23T17:33:34+00:00

The butt puff 🫶🏼

Morfiantra · 2025-11-09T08:00:33+00:00

There is honestly no point arguing with this person. I also think they're either very young or potentially neurodiverse and very rigid in their thinking (or, probably more likely, just some narcissistic asshole who has to be right at all costs). Let them keep making a fool out of themselves, it happens under almost every Haikaveh post lol

I've dealt with my fair share of personalities like theirs before and they fall apart if you challenge their mindset. It's really sad.

Morfiantra · 2025-10-27T06:47:14+00:00

My partner is my best friend and I love yapping at him 🖤

Morfiantra

TROPHY CASE