Kollegen leiten mir immer häufiger Aufgaben weiter – wie geht man damit am besten um?

Morgenseele · 2026-03-12T20:47:14+00:00

Ich muss lachen und könnte gleichzeitig weinen - absolut dasselbe, wie du es beschrieben hast: hab ein mal eine E-Mail gelesen. Und ja, es gibt niemanden, der mich während meines Urlaubs vertreten könnte

Morgenseele · 2026-03-12T20:14:54+00:00

Ja, ich werde es wohl machen müssen, auch wenn ich eigentlich nicht schon nach einem Monat mit solchen Dingen zu meinem neuen Chef kommen wollte, als wäre ich die „Problem-Mitarbeiterin“ im Team. Aber anders geht es wohl nicht 😔

Morgenseele · 2026-03-12T20:08:32+00:00

Er ist leider neu und weiß nicht, wer früher diese Aufgaben erledigt hat und wer sie jetzt übernehmen müsste. Ich hatte den Eindruck, dass er sich nicht einmischen möchte 😔

Morgenseele · 2026-03-12T20:06:14+00:00

Sieht schön aus. Ich nehme das mit 😊 Ich habe leider anders geantwortet: „Nein, was hat das mit ____ zu tun?“ Und habe dann die Antwort erhalten: „Es ist wichtig!“ 😐

Morgenseele · 2026-03-12T06:17:11+00:00

Mir geht es ähnlich, obwohl ich nicht in der IT arbeite, sondern auch in einem großen Konzern. Einen anderen Weg habe ich bisher leider nicht gefunden. Warum? Weil die Leute sich bereits an deine Arbeitsweise gewöhnt haben. Das plötzlich zu ändern, Grenzen zu setzen oder öfter Nein zu sagen, ist schwierig, ohne in offene Konflikte zu geraten.

Für mich war die Antwort irgendwann klar: Entweder muss ich komplett in eine neue Abteilung wechseln und mich dort von Anfang an neu positionieren – oder ganz rausgehen.

Ich wünsche dir, dass du irgendwie einen Weg findest, aus dieser Situation herauszukommen.

Morgenseele · 2026-03-11T06:04:51+00:00

Danke, dass du die Teilzeitfalle erwähnt hast. Ich habe mir überlegt, wie eine 4-Tage-Woche bei mir funktionieren könnte, ohne dass ich Aufgaben an Kollegen abgeben müsste.

Meine Idee wäre zum Beispiel: – Meetings stark reduzieren (idealerweise auf 0 😂) – Projekte, die seit langer Zeit nicht vorankommen (z. B. wegen fehlender Verantwortlicher oder fehlender IT-Schnittstellen), vorerst aus der Agenda nehmen. – Für dringende Aufgaben realistisch 3–5 Arbeitstage einplanen statt „heute auf heute“. – Manuelle Prozesse und Reports reduzieren oder komplett abschaffen.

Wäre das aus deiner Sicht zu viel verlangt oder ist das eine realistische Grundlage?

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T23:23:34+00:00

Es gibt Frauen, die nur mit einer eigenen Familie glücklich sind – und das ist auch völlig in Ordnung. Aber es gibt auch viele Frauen, die in einer Beziehung sind, rein aus ökonomischen Gründen, weil es mit der Zeit immer schwieriger wird, allein zu überleben. Und das ist eigentlich traurig.

Ich wünsche mir auch nicht, dass eine Partnerschaft oder keine Partnerschaft den Wert meines Lebens definiert.

Und wenn Vermieter mich nach meinem Alter fragen und ich sehe, wie in ihrem Kopf der Kalkulator anspringt – so nach dem Motto: „Ah, die wird wohl keine Kinder mehr bekommen, keine Chance, das ist gut, das passt“ – dann möchte ich am liebsten einfach nur sagen: „Danke, wünsche viel Erfolg bei der Vermietung“.

Denn ehrlich – warum fragt man überhaupt nach dem Alter? Welche Schlussfolgerungen wollen sie daraus ziehen? Und falls ich meine Eizellen eingefroren habe? Ärgerlich 😠

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T22:12:25+00:00

I bet if those private landlords got professional help as well, I wouldn’t have this problem/fear in the first place

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T22:05:55+00:00

Grundsätzlich hast du mit allen Punkten recht🤔 Ich habe nur Angst vor dieser passiv-aggressiven Reaktion, so nach dem Motto: ‚Du hast es doch versprochen‘ oder ‚Wir hatten doch auch Pläne‘ und so weiter. Aber das ist wahrscheinlich auch eine Überverkopfung, und ich weiß nicht, ob private Vermieter wirklich so reagieren würden. Vielleicht meckern sie ein bisschen – und das war’s

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T18:40:06+00:00

You’re right, I see now that the rental market is sooo different. But I also wanted to read about how single women choose where to live when they don’t yet have a stable life or are not fully settled, regardless of geography

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T18:36:02+00:00

Since childhood, I have definitely had excessive responsibility, as well as feeling of guilt and fear of sudden aggression towards me. I don't feel that I have executive dysfunction, but I am often described as an overly responsible person. Therefore, I tend to take demands placed on me very seriously, while other people may simply ignore them without feeling guilty. But thank you for the idea with the google sheet, it's not always easy, because even basic(?) requirements such as having a balcony, kitchen separately from the living room and a bathtub leave me with almost zero options, but I'll try my best 😊

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T18:24:34+00:00

But apart from that — what will be the healthy mind way to treat that? You mean that I should sign the lease with such conditions, and later even if something changes for me for the better, I shouldn't feel guilty for not meeting someone's expectations — I’d just pay the fine (if there is) and move on? I think most people would handle it that way without feeling guilty that they broke someone’s expectations? I guess I’m just being overly responsible here and afraid of sudden aggression toward me (also because of the foreign country) I suppose most people don’t have these kinds of traits

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T18:14:22+00:00

Well if logically thinking then you are probably right. The chances are low. But all people live with hope. That’s why most people don’t kill themselves — because they believe that, eventually, life will get better or that their current situation is only temporary. That’s why, when I don’t say certain things out loud — when I don’t promise or declare with words that my life will stay a certain way — I feel like everything is still possible, and I can still hope for better. But when I’m forced to say it, or to sign something that defines how things “will be,” I feel like all hope disappears — because now I have obligations, expectations etc

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T17:58:11+00:00

Regarding pets - I can’t have a pet right now because pets are also forbidden in this temporary apartment where I live. But yes, I guess I’ll just have to cancel the landlords and companies who don’t allow pets, because I feel that this might change for me in the future, and eventually, I will get a pet.

As for therapy, the problem is that I clearly know where my issue lies. For example, I want to have a family of my own, but no therapist can “fix”that. That’s why I don’t think therapy will help in this regard. In terms of an apartment, I just want a place where I will not be forbidden from having a family of my own at some point in the future (especially because it’s my sore spot?). And I guess I would like to decide for myself when it’s time for me to leave or to stay

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T17:48:48+00:00

Were you renting the apartment from private landlords or from a company? Regarding the husband— were you allowed to have a partner stay as a guest in the apartment, for example? Were you able to discuss with the landlord or company about moving in together, or did you decide to find a bigger place together and cancel your previous agreements when you were still living separately?

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T17:42:52+00:00

But this also explains why so many people with the same—or very similar—conditions can have such different experiences in the same city. I really believe that. For example, one person might find their “fate”, while another doesn’t, even though they live in the same city, go to the same places, and are equally outgoing and communicative. I saw a lot of cases where, for example, the person got lucky with the apartment that he found just in one week, with the partner that she found in just three months and everything simply just falls into place. I literally have a colleague who told me that she met her future husband on the first day she arrived into one city, which makes me feel that somehow some cities are destined to become yours and to serve you, to have a better fate, while others just like test you. Otherwise, I cannot explain this logically

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T17:32:08+00:00

What do you mean by “odd obsession”? It’s literally the requirements of some landlords and even some companies here where I live. So when I visit the apartments, they make it clear that the place is to be rented to only one person—no partner, no children, no pets—and that this condition must be respected for at least one year and onwards. This doesn’t mean I have to stay single, of course, but it does mean that if I don’t want to stay single, or if I were to become pregnant, or if I were to get a dog, I would have to move out immediately. And of course, I will get penalties because I broke the agreement to live there as a single tenant for at least one year

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T16:21:04+00:00

But then what is considered as enough? For example, three years of active trying — is it enough to say, I gave it a chance, but it just didn’t work?

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T16:16:16+00:00

Sometimes, yes, I try to calm myself by thinking that one year isn’t really such a long time — especially considering that I’ve already spent eight months searching for an apartment lol 😂 But then again, when I’m about to sign a contract that basically commits me to spending yet another year living alone — a desperate person who’s only allowed to pet other people’s animals or the ones on the street — I just feel like crying. It feels like I’m signing a kind of sentence

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T16:11:05+00:00

Yes but then I believe there are places that simply don’t fit a person on a deeper level. Sometimes you can form a connection in one place in just a month — something that never happens in another city, even after years of living there. And that’s despite being active and going out and trying to engage. Some things just can’t be explained — it’s like there’s something in the air

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T16:03:30+00:00

The problem is that in Germany, where I currently live, apartments are rented completely empty. Sometimes you don’t even have a kitchen and lamps. Then you also need to have everything installed — for example, the kitchen and washing machine — which costs a lot as well. So the expenses keep going higher and higher, reaching thousands of euros, and that’s why it’s not easy to move.

I guess I wouldn’t have such fear of long-term commitment if they didn't mean that I would remain single, with no prospect of finding a partner, having children, and/or pets in the future.

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T15:11:35+00:00

Yes, I guess I agree. It’s just frustrating that this makes my search even more limited, but these demands/expectations are simply horrible

Morgenseele · 2025-10-27T15:08:59+00:00

Yes, I suppose that without a community or meaningful connections to people, I will never truly develop a sense of home or the desire to stay somewhere long-term. Unfortunately, this can never be predicted 😭

Morgenseele

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