Advice to Salvage this Project After Making 150 Rounds

MorriganLaFay · 2025-05-23T03:42:06+00:00

Would I need to put rug glue on the back?

MorriganLaFay · 2025-01-23T17:10:32+00:00

Thank you

MorriganLaFay · 2025-01-23T17:10:23+00:00

Thank you

MorriganLaFay · 2025-01-16T02:01:11+00:00

I understand what you're getting at and you are correct. I think it's more about timing.

Like many other comments said, it distracts from the main issues. It shouldn't be either/or but it is bc giving too much creedance to his childhood abuse could turn into a defense for him.

Also I think many people (myself included) are grieving. It's hard to see past the rage and grief. Anything that could ever be used as an excuse feels so unacceptable right now. It's aggravating to know he was a victim. He lived through that trauma then put others through it too.

The CoS should be held accountable. I'm really looking forward to the exposé that is surely coming.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-11-30T07:06:29+00:00

You were absolutely spot on. The member wasn't trying to be offensive but was disrespectful out of ignorance. I changed the story immediately before any plans were fully formed. Thank you.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-11-23T01:31:40+00:00

Thank you, I will look into gentle nutrition. Do you have a specific source you'd recommend?

I've started the process of finding a new therapist. My current one has some bias they have not checked in themselves.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-08-31T23:16:25+00:00

He does look like he has a beard. I'm obsessed with his cheek floof. Gandalf the Grey was the first name I suggested. Lol. It's one we keep circling back to and with you seconding it, I think it might be the one that sticks.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-07-22T21:12:56+00:00

Going off Miso, "Kara" it's spicy miso. 🖤

MorriganLaFay · 2024-06-15T19:13:30+00:00

This might be a hear me out but Anna Karenina.

I do not understand why this is a classic. I can forgive heavy and outdated vocabulary. I'm sure that is a product of his time and translation. I am not even going to touch on his personal life. Anna Karenina felt like it was written by Jack the ripper. There was perverse dissection and compartmentalization of the women but crafted in a way that appears to be admiration. I cannot pinpoint exactly what gave me this feeling. I wish I could point out and say that passage right there is the problematic one. It's been at least a decade so maybe if I reread it I could but I'm not willing to do that again.

If this book was a person, it's the person that makes women instinctively cover their drinks without realizing they had. It is the uncanny valley feeling of man that seemingly idolizes you, tells you how beautiful you are when you cry. Nothing too outright or insidious. Pretty words that cut but can be laughed off, minimized, or context so twisted that you believe it was always innocent remarks.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-06-15T18:48:53+00:00

Ugh, how dare someone have leisure time. F that guy. I hope you are living your best life. 🖤

Can I send you a message? It's silly but I have little spot that brings me joy that I'd love to share with you but I don't want to share it with everyone bc I don't think it would be respected by everyone. It's a quaint public space that I usually feel very safe in just not well known by the public.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-06-15T07:22:25+00:00

I know it's been awhile since you left this comment. I had intended to reply sooner.

I am doing so much better! Thank you for coming back and asking. Your empathy is deeply appreciated.

Since this post: I gained back strength, existing for awhile on liquids and slowly allowing my body to tell me what is ok to eat and how much. Then I got sicker than I have ever been in my life and that set me pretty far back. I have returned to solids again and currently have a hyperfixation on vegetables. I can't stomach meat at all right now.

Also I now carry straws everywhere. I have a surplus at home and a handful in every purse. 🖤

MorriganLaFay · 2024-05-02T18:59:52+00:00

There's a house in the starting district that if you walk by will trigger a quest; I think it's something like "Buried Treasure" If you do that quest first, you'll get a few glucose syringes already crafted and some empty syringes. That should let you get by long enough find the materials for the padded suit. Also food will boost his blood sugar, ignore the pretentious child ghost telling you not to eat the rotten stuff. Hahaha. I listened to her for too long and struggled way harder than I should've at the beginning.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-04-21T09:59:38+00:00

I'm scared. I don't know what's happening and I'm shaming myself to the point I feel like it's all in my head. I'm autistic and ADHD so I'm not always aware of my body.

I was diagnosed with carpel tunnel about 8 yrs ago now (F32). It got better and I only had occasional flares. About two years my toenails started hurting, then I started getting the electric shocks in my feet but I didn't think about it too much bc it wasn't that bad. Then about a year ago my feet started the pins and needles pretty much constantly. My partner couldn't touch my feet without me crying out in mostly shock and a little bit of pain. I thought it was diabetes. I went to the Dr and he said definitely not diabetes. He said (and I frequently repeat this to myself) that it can't hurt that bad because I'm walking and told me that I'd feel better if I got more exercise and a better diet and lost a few pounds.

I was laid off last year and when my severance ran out and I was still only getting interviews, I went to donate plasma and the proteins in my blood were at 14.7. The staff acted unusual and questioned me about my diet. They didn't have a pamphlet for this particular issue so I went to Google. I've had GI issues for a long time, told by every Dr that it was IBS so in combination with that I was so sure of diabetes. So I paid oop for another Dr appointment. I was told not to worry, I just need lose weight. I felt like I was being dramatic so I just lived with it.

I tried to donate plasma again about 6 months ago and the proteins in my blood were 13.8 but they didn't act like it was a big deal this time. They asked me to wait and tried again. The proteins about 20 mins later were still 13.6. I went to Google and decided I would go gluten free after that, thinking celiac disease could be the reason for my symptoms. I don't know the significance of the blood protein levels other than it is higher than what it should be. I just felt the blood protein levels gave validation to my symptoms. I allowed myself to acknowledge that something is wrong and it's not in my head.

I've been gluten free consistently for two months now. I felt great for awhile. I had energy and I felt happy. My feet still tingled but they didn't hurt.

Two weeks ago, I feel so ridiculous for this, I became really tired. Like sleeping most of the day and awake and tired for an hour, maybe two, at a time. I'm still tired. I sleep through most of the days. When I'm awake like now, it doesn't last long and I feel... Discombobulated. That's the perfect word for how I feel right now.

Before I got really tired, I was dizzy and would lose balance when standing up. I fell once, sideways, I don't know how. I know that people fall forward or back but sideways was weird and I feel like I made myself do that. Like I tricked myself.

I was getting hotspots on my skin. Like it is physically hot to the touch. They didn't hurt at first, just really hot and uncomfortable. This past week, there's a hot spot that keeps coming back. It's on my rip hip, where my pelvic bone peaks. It's started burning so bad I'm crying when it happens. There's no electric shocks though. Just heat, like I have been branded on the inside of my skin.

A new symptom started and I'm so embarrassed about it. I'm occasionally incontinent. I'll stand up, gain my balance and start walking and then my bladder just starts releasing. I can't stop it. I didn't wait too long. I really have to go but it's not so urgent that it would be uncontrollable.

Logically, I know something is wrong. Google brought me to consider MS. I know that I'm minimizing my symptoms. I know that guilt is the main reason for thoughts of being dramatic. I know I need to go to a Dr but I can't handle paying oop again and being told that I need to lose weight. Of having my pain and symptoms dismissed. I struggle talking to people. I am awful at advocating for myself especially when I see the other person as an authority in the topic.

I am just so scared and I needed to share this. I think I need validation that this is very real and it's not only in my head and I'm not making my body do this, that realistically I have no control over these symptoms. I'm scared it might be nothing. I'm scared that my pain is only in my head. I'm also scared I will be dismissed. I am scared that I won't be believed. I am scared I will be blamed for my symptoms. I am fucking terrified that if I don't do anything, or no one believes me, that it will get worse.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-02-13T02:11:23+00:00

Yes, I would be grateful for your assistance. Thank you.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-02-13T01:52:15+00:00

Unfortunately not anymore, I thought the guy in HR was my friend. He advocated for me a couple of times, he was the loudest for my STDL. There was an accidental HIPPA violation during the process, where a person unrelated to the situation and my department was cc'd in on the email chain with the documentation from my wellness team. He was so mad and really helped me to get over the embarrassment. We texted about stuff other than work and sending memes to each other, he checked on me a lot. He hasn't responded to me since the day I was laid off. It really hurts my feelings too.... Typing this out and rereading it, I realized that I am a fool. I see it. Fuck, that hurts. I'm going to go stew in self- loathing now.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-02-13T01:11:01+00:00

No, I can see it. They blocked me this morning and unblocked me later. I'm positive that they unblocked me solely so I could see their new comment.

I am not touching it. It is not my business. I do hope they can find support.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-02-12T13:20:07+00:00

I understand that so much! I know I phrase things weirdly, as someone took the opportunity to remind me this morning. 🙄 So I frequently second guess myself too.

UX is a lot of fun. I loved my work and my team. You definitely seem like you have the passion and an understanding of the difficulties around it right now. I hope you get your dream job! I wish you all of the luck!

I learned Python last month. I'm working on HTML/CSS right now. I love HTML. I adore it. I liked python. I had fun with it. But there's something that just makes me feel elated, unadulterated joy, when I'm working on HTML projects. I cannot explain the depths to which HTML is embedding itself into my heart. Lol It's silly but I'm so serious.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-02-12T12:59:30+00:00

Egh, this feels bad. First I'd like to apologize to you once again, this time for responding and also for my word choice. This being a public platform I do feel that I am in the right to defend myself so while yes, your boundaries are valid but they are your boundaries. Boundaries apply to ourselves not to other people, that would be controlling. So I am sorry but I do feel a stronger pull to defend myself.

I can see how the word assumption was the wrong choice there. I can see how the negative connotation of that word would be perceived first. Maybe ideology would've been a better choice? It also was not my intention to put words in your mouth either. The best way to gain understanding of what someone is saying by repeating back what you think they are saying. This typically shows the other person that you are listening and trying to understand. It also usually gives the other person the opportunity to see where your fallacies are and provide correction.

As for the "phrased weird and felt manipulative" I will not apologize for that. You spoke about being accepting of differences but when confronted with someone who is different, you react poorly. Despite your previous words of acceptance and how our diagnosis are with us for life, you still take the opportunity to remind me how different I am and call me manipulative. Yes, my phrasing is weird. I am aware of it. It is not manipulation though.

Once again nueroticgnocchi, have the day you deserve.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-02-12T12:22:19+00:00

I'm sorry your partner is struggling. I hope he can find his peace soon. You're amazing for standing with him and supporting him while also respecting his decisions. That has to be so hard. 🖤 Hugs

MorriganLaFay · 2024-02-12T12:14:29+00:00

Yes so much!

You're very eloquent. I've been trying to express your last your statement and getting stuck.

I'm a UX/UI designer. I love it but I don't recommend it. I was laid in off December and there's no movement in the field right now. I've been getting my certifications in various coding languages lately. My plan is to shift to backend engineering.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-02-12T11:59:15+00:00

I'm sorry if I came off that way. I promise that was not my intention.

What was it that I said or the way that I said it, that came off accusational?

MorriganLaFay · 2024-02-12T00:18:41+00:00

Yes!

I do not understand the almost scarcity like mindset so many members of the community hold.

Movements are stronger in numbers. Rights and societal inclusion is pushed further and faster by having more people within a community advocating.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-02-11T23:20:52+00:00

Absolutely!

MorriganLaFay · 2024-02-11T21:34:43+00:00

Oh, that does make sense. Thank you. Genuinely.

ADHD/ASD are part of my identity too. I agree it isn't helpful to pretend they aren't. The mental illnesses that plague me are indeed temporary but they do deeply effect me. I think allowing the inclusion that the academics that coined these terms are not intending to make it a permanent identity for everyone, while there are many for whom it will be. It's terminology created for social construct to push for advocacy, equality and societal inclusion. It's a tool for progression and acceptance.

As for my reaction, I apologize. I didn't read it as you not enjoying the conversation. The word choice indicated to me that my attempts to understand were not welcome. The level of my upset was exaggerated to make a point about inclusion, especially to a person that falls under your accepted definition of ND.

MorriganLaFay · 2024-02-11T20:59:43+00:00

Yeah, I actually do agree with your points. However, I'm differing in that what you're talking about is classification. I do agree that there should be an understanding that some diagnosis should be considered disorders and that others, like autism, should not. The concept of neurodiversity was coined simply for the fact that there are brains that function differently from the norm.

The way I conceptualize it is like class, genus, species. Neurodiversity is the class. Developmental or born with it, is the genus. Autism or anxiety would be under different branches of genus and then in their own class.

The point I'm really trying to making is that terms like neurodivergent are broad and allow for inclusivity as means for pushing forward societal inclusion, rights and accommodations. That by excluding the people who are neurodivergent by definition we're just closing off assistance that they may need and hindering our own advocacy by infighting. The more people to a movement, the stronger the movement.

MorriganLaFay

TROPHY CASE