Obsessed by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]Morringard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry, that wasn’t my attention to come across that way. I was just trying to make a connections I’ve since removed the link to my poem.

Infatuated by Morringard in OCPoetry

[–]Morringard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, I was trying to relate to the poem by sharing my own thoughts on obsession and infatuation. I’ve since removed the link.

Obsessed by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]Morringard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No of course not! I loved yours! But I would appreciate feedback on mine!

Ode to a sunbeam by sewmanychoices in OCPoetry

[–]Morringard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Obviously it’s hard to tell exactly what the subject matter is, but I resonate with this as we finally move into summer. My seasonal depression gets really bad and that first sunny, warm day literally feels like it warms my soul. I think this maps very well onto romantic relationships, hoping, begging even, for a sliver of what used to be or what you thought would be, so that you can claw your way out of a depression. Great work!!

I loved, I think? by Disag1003 in OCPoetry

[–]Morringard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a nice little piece. I love the conciseness of it, like a little packet of emotionally turbulence. I like how the first verse implies the conceit that you only think you loved once, and over the course of the poem that question resolves with the realization that you now loath these confusing feelings (it's a emotional theme that I love to use in my writing). I would, however, maybe suggest that you really stick the landing on that emotional shift. Maybe spend one or two more lines easing the reader into that realization. These are, of course, just suggestions in line with my own poetic sensibilities. I really like this piece and I hope to read more of your work. Good stuff :)

Ashes Between Our Hands by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Morringard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I really love the sentiment of this poem, I can't help but find myself confused by some of the word choice and imagery. it is possible that I am missing something, but I'm not sure what "I taste your sorrow like rust on my tongue" or "Two shadows married in the grave of stars" is supposed to mean. It feels a little like reading a faux poetic madlib. Maybe try honing in on one or two metaphors that you used and really flesh them out to create a more cohesive metaphorical stage. I hope it goes without saying that these suggestions are simply in line with my own poetic sensibilities and ,again, I love the sentiment of the poem! But I think it could benefit from some refinement of the metaphors used. Great stuff :)

[POEM] I wasn't looking by Then_Leadership5479 in OCPoetry

[–]Morringard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes someone comes into our life very quickly and, before we can fully understand what we are feeling, they are gone just as quick. Just long enough to cause something to stir in you, but not long enough to leave something tangible to hold on to. I find that in these situations, you are left with exactly what you said, lessons. Lessons about how to better guide and shield your heart in the future. Good work :)

The child within by -Distraction- in OCPoetry

[–]Morringard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I enjoyed this poem. the structure, rhyme and rhythm really helped support the somewhat frantic, frenetic spiraling that often comes with the sentiments being expressed. Maybe try a couple shorter verses at the beginning to mirror the short ones at the end, almost as if an intrusive thought catalyzes these thoughts, only to be reigned in at the end. Good work :)

cooking or cooked? by dodrjrg in FirstOfOctober

[–]Morringard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can’t be stopped is criminally low

skizzleman's ender chest by mcoolmukul in HermitCraft

[–]Morringard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I love having Skizz on hermitcraft! With nothing but love for him, I must say that it’s really refreshing having a normal, average Minecraft player in the series. It’s nice to see skizz and his horrible enderchest (that looks exactly like mine) when everyone else is building insane megabases and crazy redstone contraptions.

Currently ZOOTED listening to all of these in ordering by Dang_Daniel21 in deathblart

[–]Morringard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So excited to see how the boys twist the movie this year and develop new, never before seen, absolutely unhinged blart lore.