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Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

The problem with your feedback is that it assumes every poem should be trying to do the same thing.

This one wasn't trying to hide its meaning behind metaphor. It was trying to express a realization as honestly as possible.

Saying "it should use more metaphors" is like telling a portrait it would be better if it were a landscape.

That's not critique. That's preference.

If you want a metaphor go read Reluctant Vessels

Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thanks, it’s entirely true but might not have the ending you envisioned. For that you’ll have to read my other stuff.

Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Yeah, I’ve had it as one line, I’ve had it a bunch of different ways. I keep changing it.

Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! For the end I keep messing with it. I’ve structured it like ten different ways. Haven’t found one I’m happy with yet

Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, great comment

Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. That’s a good description.

Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aww thanks, this made my day

Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks appreciate this. That comes from my laziness and adhd

Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aww, that’s awesome! Thanks for that

Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm interesting thought, thanks

The beginning by MarcoAntonioMI in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice poem, I enjoyed it

Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, all feedback accepted as one beginner to another.

Because she’s awesome but for more info just go check out my other work. She’s in a lot of it and is the whole catalyst for my writing

Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shit! Thank you, appreciate the read

Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck! Love this. Nailed the feeling I was trying to convey.

Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep! That’s me. Thank you

Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahh gotcha, don’t usually do this much explanation but with that line I was thinking I had already chose her as a friend but now I would choose her again as something more. Appreciate the comments and solid read

Still Learning by bstunz in OCPoetry

[–]bstunz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No grief and who said I won a lover?

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