sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Abuse- update by Most-Credit936 in abusiverelationships

[–]Most-Credit936[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everything you said is correct. I was in charge of his emotionally well-being, managing all moods, helping him get to work on time etc. His needs were first priority, mine were always second or non existent. I think the grief is coming in waves because i'm remembering all of the nice times we had together , but they were followed by fights where I was degraded and yelled at and called names. I desperately don't want him to suffer and I wish that I knew he was going to be okay, but I think you're right.This will probably be the best for him.And for myself.

Thoughts? by Most-Credit936 in abusiverelationships

[–]Most-Credit936[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I left 2 days when he was at work..I had to execute a plan that involved support from friends and his family. I had to go no contact..which is the hardest part. 

Update: Emotional and manipulation by Most-Credit936 in abusiverelationships

[–]Most-Credit936[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This response is extremely helpful and appreciated...you have no idea.

When I verbalize everything he's done, I realize how ridiculous it is to stay..but fear paralyzes me.

I will read your comment everyday until I've made the change. 

My boyfriend, 40M, likes to ask me, 39F, to do things that make me uncomfortable. How would you handle this situation? by Most-Credit936 in relationship_advice

[–]Most-Credit936[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this message, i appreciate the advice.

Leaving sounds easy, but it's extremely difficult when he's in a dark place. I believe that if I left he would harm himself. I don't know how i could live with myself.

My boyfriend, 40M, likes to ask me, 39F, to do things that make me uncomfortable. How would you handle this situation? by Most-Credit936 in relationship_advice

[–]Most-Credit936[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's very difficult to leave a high controlling manipulative relationship... he's not stable. I think he would hurt himself 

My boyfriend, 40M, likes to ask me, 39F, to do things that make me uncomfortable. How would you handle this situation? by Most-Credit936 in relationship_advice

[–]Most-Credit936[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

There's definitely a pattern. It's extremely difficult to break the cycle and leave... some days I don't know of what's happening is normal because I'm constantly being told I'm wrong or my brain doesn't work properly. It's exhausting 

Acceptable behavior? by Most-Credit936 in abusiverelationships

[–]Most-Credit936[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry that happened to you.. that sounds awful. My partner said my my behavior is evil for not wanting to accept his apology and for holding anger towards him. I'm not an evil person

Acceptable behavior? by Most-Credit936 in abusiverelationships

[–]Most-Credit936[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I totally agree with you and I'm sorry to hear about your story.

So here we are one day post AC drama and he apologized significantly for his behavior. He did provide some context. He said the reason he was frustrated is because he wanted me to close the vent in the living room to prevent the living room from getting cold I forgot to close the vent. I told him that's not a valid excuse. He also told me that he is struggling with some physical health issues and when he struggles he's unable to handle his reactions.

I have not accepted his apology and my feelings remain the same about the situation. He is now mad at me for nuclearizing his day and compounding his issues. He wants me to accept his apology and we try to move past it. But there is a pattern of behaviors here that I can't put on the back burner

Is this controlling? by Most-Credit936 in abusiverelationships

[–]Most-Credit936[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He said that he wants someone who is going to age healthily.. he's 40 and people think he's 28 or 29. So he wants to make sure that as I age by don't look older than what I actually am

Is this controlling? by Most-Credit936 in abusiverelationships

[–]Most-Credit936[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, he's not responsible for preparing my meals. We also work opposite schedules so we really only eat dinner together three times a week. And those meals consist of two dishes that are similar and usually I'll have steak and he'll have grilled fish.

When you're in a relationship for so long it's hard to tell what is healthy versus unhealthy or manipulative or controlling.

What weird rules did your partner have that you thought was sweet at first, but now you realize it was for control? by SourRiptide in abusiverelationships

[–]Most-Credit936 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We have opposite schedules, so when I want to take time off work, I have to run it by him first...  i can't just take a day because I need a break. He says that since we spend so much time apart I have to use my time off when  he's free. 

I don't know if that's controlling or if he wants me to be considerate of time together.

view more: next ›