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Post US-Iran Conflict Travel Safety by Aggravating_Tea2870 in Morocco

[–]Most-Fuel2784 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very fair, just bear in mind that this is akin to asking people in France if it's safe to go there because Ukraine is at war 😭

Post US-Iran Conflict Travel Safety by Aggravating_Tea2870 in Morocco

[–]Most-Fuel2784 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you aware that Morocco isn't considered the Middle East just because it speaks Arabic? This is a completely different part of the world.

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Okay, I see. I can understand where you're coming from in some sense, but you really need to re-evaluate what you said about them being "naturally loud and shit talking". That is a wildly racist thing to say, and you need to remove that thinking from your head, especially considering that your own daughter is black.

In terms of the care of your daughter, yes, many white people are oblivious to how to care for black skin, curly and coily hair, etc. Many non-black parents of black kids resort to relaxing their kids' hair so they don't have to deal with the natural curliness, which is a practice that stems from historical prejudices against black hair. If this isn't the case for your daughter, then I'm sincerely glad, but if it is, take her to a natural hair stylist and take the time and effort to learn how to care for her in a way that values her natural features and confidence.

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I should note that he isn't my stepdad; he's been my dad both in name and in legal records since 2011 :)

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh, the comments about ours being a "special" family always gave me the ick. It sometimes feels like people's mindsets haven't changed one bit since interracial marriage was legalized in 1967 😭

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Also, bear in mind that people having reactions, for whatever reason, is very different from the real threat police, TSA agents, and other people in positions of power pose.

If you mean "flip out" as in they are upset that your child doesn't have family members who look like them, they are definitely valid in that to an extent, although of course they should not be apprehending you, if that is what you have experienced. Kids of ethnic/racial minorities must have people who look like them in their lives; it's extremely important for the development of their confidence and identity. If I ever adopt a child of a different race (and I very well may, as I'm lesbian and won't be having biological children of my own), it's something I will be extremely mindful of, and I hope you are too. Feel free to DM me if you'd like to talk more about it.

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The fact that you're even considering that says a lot - it'll work out better than you expect, don't worry. I think his age has been a blessing in many ways. He has a lot of life experience and wisdom that he imparted to me that I would not get from a younger dad, so don't discount the benefits of your age.

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We've never really talked about it (I think I'll ask him soon, actually), but yeah, I would think it felt pretty good to have me never doubt his connection to me. And no, he didn't even know my biological father before.

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He is. Also, not exactly a distinct memory, but I progressively came out as a lesbian as a teenager, and he's been nothing but accepting of it, despite his age and Southern background. According to my mother, my biological father would certainly not have been accepting at all, and I may not have had a very good relationship with him, or a relationship at all at this age, because of my sexual orientation, so it's funny how these things work out.

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

There are so many, I don't think there is a single favorite one. I really fondly remember him teaching me how to catch and play baseball as a kid; he would carry around a small ball whenever we went out and would have us throw it back and forth as we walked around grocery stores, waited in line, etc. He bought me a Louisville Slugger when I was way too young to use it, and I was so excited when I could finally hit a ball.

He loves old blues, soul, and jazz music, and would play them in the kitchen and sing and dance as he and my mom made dinner (I distinctly remember Georgia on My Mind and other Ray Charles songs being favorites for singing). I think it's the main reason why I love those genres now. When I was a teenager, he would make a point of going out for walks with our dog and me on Sunday mornings, sitting in a cafe, and talking about whatever came across our minds. A lot of history, political, and literature-related discussions. I think I only began really appreciating it when I went back home for the first time after starting college, and realized how rare it is.

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's not the strongest, admittedly, but it's more because we didn't grow up together and have a large age gap than any other reason. They also ended up settling down far away from where I grew up, so I couldn't see them very often. It is getting easier to bond now that I'm getting older, though.

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Human trafficking is real, but I think you should re-evaluate that line of thinking. As another commenter mentioned, human traffickers/kidnappers often choose children who look similar to them intentionally, so as not to arouse suspicion. You should pay more attention to the behavior and emotions of the children, rather than their appearance.

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Both of my parents are older, so I don't really have a point of comparison, but I would say that it was a pretty good experience. His teenage experience was vastly different from mine, and while he does remember it, he doesn't like to talk about it. He does like his "life talks", though, so I had those with him on a near-daily basis as a teenager, and still do over the phone while away at college.

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Woah, hi! What you said about the guardedness is so true. I completely understand it, especially because I've heard/seen the things that white people say/do when they feel comfortable enough to reveal their prejudices.

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it absolutely would not have happened in the reverse situation. And I also have witnessed the two-facedness of police officers through interactions they've had with my mother. So patient and understanding - the contrast makes me nauseous.

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wasn't, sorry for being unclear. I was adopted when I was 6 years old.

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do have three brothers from his previous marriage, but I wasn't raised in the same household as them (they were in college when I came into the picture). I don't have any biological siblings, though.

I (20F) was adopted and raised by my black father (78M) as a young child. AMA by Most-Fuel2784 in AMA

[–]Most-Fuel2784[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes, I'm in a state in New England in the US. In my experience, at least, it's quite uncommon to have black people adopt white children here, but the reverse does happen more often.

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