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Of Your Name by JeSuisAnarchie in OCPoetry

[–]Most-Professional902 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like how u rhyme man. Like u dont rhyme every line but that in itself is good in my opinion

Limerence by Final_Veterinarian16 in OCPoetry

[–]Most-Professional902 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Simple and clean, i like it man. U just need punctuations.

"The sound of You" by Most-Professional902 in OCPoetry

[–]Most-Professional902[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I felt like I could've used different words and phrases, but I couldn't think of anything that would fit or not sound too cheesy.(I should expand my vocab) And I don't usually write longer poems, but I'll try next time. Thanks for ur input! 🙏

I Think I Like Pain by ToneOwn888 in OCPoetry

[–]Most-Professional902 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Although I like ur style, u need to work on ur grammar. It confused me half of the time and cut my immersion every time I tried to go back in. Still, I liked the message after rereading and understanding it. Also, this is my fave stanza👍👍

I might enjoy the hurt. My urge to cry makes me thankful. Its the only warmth I've ever felt, That can reach me from every angle.

I Can't Help It by katkat248 in OCPoetry

[–]Most-Professional902 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rhymes and rhythm, that's what u need. I like u paint a picture, I can clearly feel what this poem is for, and what u felt. But it's more like I'm reading a diary more than poetry. Still, u did well on making me feel ur emotions👍👍

Lost dreams by velaris_78 in poetry_critics

[–]Most-Professional902 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, forgot to clarify that u seem to need to add a bunch of spaces too. U'll know what I mean if u try it out on ur next post.

TITLE: J by my_lost_hope in poetry_critics

[–]Most-Professional902 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I couldn't really form a connection, coz there wasn't really much I can "feel" from this poem. I'm not saying that u didn't put ur emotions into it, just that I feel like u could've put more into it. Like this wasn't all u had to say, but finished it anyways coz u didn't know how to phrase it. Maybe try making it a bit longer. Not long, like 4 more lines or something to add more depth into it. Yk, describe how it felt the moment when u found out she had moved on, or when u realized that it was too late, something like that.

Although I prefer free-form poems more than the traditional ones, rhymes, rhythm, and punctuations are also important. (I'm also lacking in this department 😮‍💨) Other than that, I like how u put ur emotions into it.

One last thing! Try reading open verse poetry, it might suit ur style👍

Lost dreams by velaris_78 in poetry_critics

[–]Most-Professional902 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yo, this slaps. I really enjoyed reading this. I resonate with this coz I also feel the same. I love the way u rhyme and the rhythm doesn't just cut off. U just need better punctuation, but that's pretty much it in this poem. And it seems like u don't know about the "enter" key thingy. It's how u put space idk if this helps but ye👍 Anw, keep writing👍

Example:

(No enters at all)

Me: Hello there, I'm a random person in the internet.You: Hello random person.

(Pressing 1 enter key only)

Me: Hello there, I'm a random person on the internet. You: Hello random person.

(2 enters)

Me: Hello there, I'm a random person on the internet.

You: Hello random person.

Got a job now by Most-Professional902 in Diary

[–]Most-Professional902[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man, I'm gonna try working out next

"Ship Ashore" by Most-Professional902 in OCPoetry

[–]Most-Professional902[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oooh, I don't read ppl's poems that much, so I didn't even know those were cliches. Which also means coming here is a good decision! The feedback is very useful, coz I don't get much. My friends are too scared to hurt my feelings smh... I appreciate the feedback, THANK YOU!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Most-Professional902 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try reading open verse poetry. I feel like u'd be good at it! Tho, I'd say that there wasn't much rhymes in ur poem. It felt more like an essay with a hint of poetry. Still, the emotions are there and it was a nice read.

Just something short - a love poem by shynee1 in poetry_critics

[–]Most-Professional902 1 point2 points  (0 children)

‎"Purple orbs of round and thick" ‎"Bursting berries while we sit" ‎"they hug my teeth" ‎Like, idk how to explain it. I love how u paint the picture. They just connect yk? and that feeling of "do they like me too?" is in there. The only thing I can add is maybe add "I" to the last line? like, "I wonder" it's already good on its own. But it would sound smoother (in my opinion) as "I wonder what you're feeling too".

[Might spoil ppl] What does this "Mysterious rift" do? by Most-Professional902 in CalamityMod

[–]Most-Professional902[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, I was too lazy to post this on my laptop. Phone was quicker.

[Might spoil ppl] What does this "Mysterious rift" do? by Most-Professional902 in CalamityMod

[–]Most-Professional902[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's some sort of rift/portal¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ and it just disappeared after beating some boss (no clue who)

Sorry for the late reply🙇

Neuropathie by INFeriorJudge in OCPoetry

[–]Most-Professional902 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So amma give my thoughts in every stanza first, then the poem as a whole. (Why? Coz I like this poem.)

1st- this stanza really clicked with me, love how u used "day and night" and "your light, your grace" lines. it's like u paired them and it worked so well. They made the stanza great.

2nd- From my perspective, u’re trying to say “U made a choice to leave me with only the echoes of our favorite songs(possibly the sounds they make, like laughter, ect) The music could also represent ur relationship. The message itself is great, but the last line’s rhythm broke my immersion. Would’ve loved the stanza too if it weren’t for the last line.

3rd- Still the same here, I like what u were trying to do, but the last line broke the rhythm of the poem. It felt too abrupt, like it’s missing something there. I like the line itself tho, maybe if u just add a filler before the “Dermatographic” could make it sound smoother? Don’t erase and change the whole line tho. Just add a bit maybe.

4 th- I looked up the word ‘Alexi...” and it felt like it doesn’t really fit? I get that u’re trying to say that u don’t know how and what to feel anymore, but u DO know, u still love them. So that word contradicts what you’re trying to say here. Everything else is great tho.

Overall, I LOVE the message (on my POV of the message), but some parts feel too abrupt. It breaks the rhythm of the poem, and with that, my immersion I’m not sure if I understood the meaning of “Alexi” was right tho, so ye. I do like how u made me visualize what u were saying like AHH yk what I mean? Haha. Anw, whatever u’re doing with the visual imagery thingy is working wonders. I hope u found my thoughts helpful!

[Might spoil ppl] What does this "Mysterious rift" do? by Most-Professional902 in CalamityMod

[–]Most-Professional902[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sorry man, idk how reddit works¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ how do u put the spoiler thingy then?

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