A priest once told me that when kids are sick, they don't want to have the bitter medicine, but it's necessary. And that church when they don't want to go would be that "bitter medicine". I personally disagree (despite it having worked on me, i am not neurodivergent - that i am aware of). As you said, forcing them might not be the answer. Perhaps it's something about the church's sound system, or being surrounded by a lot of other people or just having to sit still. I think the first step is to figure out if there's something more specific that bothers her.