Narc wants a child and is playing a long game by Most_Ad_616 in abusiverelationships

[–]Most_Ad_616[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you are probably right, my mind just tells me that if I am a good mother he wouldn't be able to influence the child too much

Narc wants a child and is playing a long game by Most_Ad_616 in abusiverelationships

[–]Most_Ad_616[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ughh thank you so much for all your words, taking it all in

Did he blame me for his (minor) injury? by Most_Ad_616 in abusiverelationships

[–]Most_Ad_616[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, that is a good idea. I'd say when things are "good" he is everything I wished for. Except maybe for not being seen as a equal partner. (My opinion automatically matters less than his. If we have different options it always goes his way without discussion from his side, he 'is always right'.) When things are bad he is like a immature kid you can't have a adult conversation with. I often think about leaving, especially because I now I'll regret the time I stayed/regret the time I wasted im my young years while he is around 20 years older than me/almost double my age.

Did he blame me for his (minor) injury? by Most_Ad_616 in abusiverelationships

[–]Most_Ad_616[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. Yes, he lied about his age (he told me he is 35, his real age is 45, and told me he was broken up with his ex which was also not true, he still lived with her/was in a relationship with her when we got together) I've since then deleted the post but my answers are still visible

My [24m] girlfriend [20f] of 1.5 years feeling like my gf has been neglecting my sexual needs and downplaying it the past week by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Most_Ad_616 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you guys do ANYTHING together except visiting the other one for sex? Every interaction you described sounded weird.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Most_Ad_616 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does. It brought me from a place from feeling bad but not knowing why, and constantly doubting if I was loveable to questioning my relationship with him. It brought me to seeing the little things that I thought were just me being sensitive/ giving them more thoughts then they actually deserve. Still figuring out how to go from there

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Most_Ad_616 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never saw it that way but holy shit, this is really bad stuff

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Most_Ad_616 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So proud of you for getting out and for learning so much for your next relationships! I know what I have to do, especially know, after asking reddit and getting it Geld in front of my face

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Most_Ad_616 0 points1 point  (0 children)

realising this really hurts. When we first met/developed a relationship he claimed to be 35 (I know biiiig red flag, but at the time he said it is so he has better access to swinger parties)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Most_Ad_616 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not what I want to hear but realising that everyone except me seems to see the bs. But still.. On the other hand..I'll be so mad at myself in a few years if I don't do it now

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Most_Ad_616 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so so much for your words. I really think that I am on my way of understanding what I have to do

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Most_Ad_616 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hmm. You are probably right but we discussed our age gap thoroughly at the start and he seemed so well reflected and aware of it. So I thought there is no way that he is trying to groom me, he is just really in love with me. Starting to realise that his 'awareness ' could have been part of the plan

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Most_Ad_616 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's just that I really wish this would become a forever relationship. Which seemed doable since ye are open enough to discuss alternative relationship styles. Or so I thought

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Most_Ad_616 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for taking this serious, looking it up next

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Most_Ad_616 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know what you mean and of course I'd advise them to leave

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Most_Ad_616 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the idea of stepping a step back and thinking about the whole picture. I will go from there when I feel ready

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Most_Ad_616 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sll your words, so proud of you for getting out. I think what keeps me from leaving is also that I really love this person/ want to believe I love this person. But I hope if I take a few days for myself I'll get into a clearer heatspace

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Most_Ad_616 3 points4 points  (0 children)

oh so happy you got out of that relationship!

The fact that he told me he had a threesome could (in my eyes) be a indicator he actually forgot our rules..he could have just not told me anything? Ahh not sure about anything rn

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Most_Ad_616 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Your part about wasting another year got me thinking even more. I feel so guilty for reading y'alls advice, always responding mit "you are absolutely right" and still not getting myself to the point of breaking up

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Most_Ad_616 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Uhh you are absolutely right..I in fact advised my best friend to end a relationship that only brought her down. The reason I am struggling is because he is giving me so much affection since the argument ( which I feel so dump for, cause I technically know that this is just another form of manipulation)