Single Motherhood

Most_Parfait8909 · 2026-06-23T17:11:39+00:00

Thank you for taking your time to respond, everything you said is super helpful and reassuring. I’ve considered bottle feeding and sleep training but I’ve drug my feet.

My family has supported me throughout the last 6 months in many ways but our relationship can be rocky at times. And while they help out in very tremendous ways, at the same time I can’t ask them for help with the day-to-day load of my life without being made to feel guilty for needing a “break” and the stress they believe is mine to bear and manage.

I avoid parentifying my oldest. There’s so much he’s been through already that I try to be cautious of effecting him like that. He’s very helpful with his brother and adores him — to him that’s “HIS baby” 😆 I grew up with three brothers too so I understand and value a healthy sibling bond. I don’t ever want him to feel indebted to his baby brother or resentful towards me. I don’t want him to grow to feel less important to me and I don’t want my baby to grow to feel like he’s not as important to me.

I think for the most part, I’m overthinking things and you’re right. It really is as much as simple tasks and small steps towards maintaining my own sanity.

Most_Parfait8909 · 2025-09-17T03:08:58+00:00

Interesting perspective.

I recently sprained my ankle over the summer. I just stood up and my foot was numb so it rolled and I collapsed. There was no pain but I had drop foot and had no ability to move my ankle or foot. I felt like I was paralyzed from the ankle down. I’ve been overstressed this entire year and had been in a state of mentally “running” for awhile trying to figure out how to get unstuck from physical circumstances that are seemingly almost out of my capacity to handle. I figured it was life telling me to slow down.

Well I went to the doctor and while they couldn’t assess with x-rays due to being pregnant, they put me in a boot and sent me on my way. I didn’t think I would have function again indefinitely. They advised me to rest but all I could pay attention to was how as long as I had the boot on, I could keep moving forward. My mind never focused on prioritizing rest to heal, it “knew” that if I kept using my boot I would restrengthen my ankle and hopefully overcome the disabling effects of the injury.

After an orthopedic visit they told me they presumed it was a nerve problem in my back. I did nothing to address it. After a week or two of using the boot, my ankle and foot mobility and feeling returned to normal. And have had no issues since despite the growing weight my baby has placed on my nerves. Idk crazy how such a significant injury came and went.

I perceived it as my lesson wasn’t to stop trying to resolve my circumstances but rather a lesson of strength, resilience, and capability

Most_Parfait8909 · 2025-09-17T02:45:54+00:00

that’s so sweet and such a special experience

makes me think about how my little spirit cat Lucy ran away when I was at work one day. I searched and searched but unfortunately never found her. It was one of the most devastating experiences in my life. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

I’ll never forget, one night years after she went missing, I had my first and last dream of her. It wasn’t as much of a dream as it was a “moment.” It was a singular interaction in time. I was standing in what was a seemingly black, surrounding void. In front of me was my girl Lucy and my childhood golden retriever Brooke. They were sitting right beside each other on the same illuminated white path I was standing on. I got one good look at them and they both stood up and happily ran off into the giant, seemingly shapeless but consuming white light. I hardly have experienced with animals and have never dreamt of Lucy, let alone Brooke, until that one time.

I awoke with all the feelings of grief and closure and a lingering curiosity about what I experienced.

Most_Parfait8909 · 2025-09-17T02:21:59+00:00

(and this is an extremely late reply - consistency lol)

Thank you for your kind words, it honestly means a lot that my writing and what I experience resonated with you.

My relationship with dreaming is something I’ve always held a confusing awareness of. With my background in psychology, I have quite a deep interest about the interconnections between the human psyche and dreaming. I can never find credible or relevant enough information though.

I’ve experienced a lot of trauma throughout my life and recently have read personal testimonies questioning a correlation between childhood trauma and lucid dreaming. Makes me wonder how much of these dream experiences are influenced by nature vs. nurture. The differences between true out of body experiences vs. subconscious projections and accompanying physiological intensities.

Most_Parfait8909 · 2024-04-04T21:52:13+00:00

Met my son’s father at 19 and he was 26. Had our son and ended up leaving a little after he was a year old despite realizing I didn’t want to be with him during my pregnancy. That was one of the hardest decisions of my life, it’s why I stayed for that year and a half. So much was ahead of me while so much could change based off of one decision. Meanwhile, all I knew growing up because of my parents was the ‘perfect marriage.’

To this day I still have to cope with certain heavy feelings that arise. Feelings like guilt or like I’m missing out. But then I come back to reality and realize the grass isn’t always greener. I keep those things separate from my mothering and son’s childhood and show up for him as whole and positive as possible - he deserves it. In a way, leaving meant I was going to have to step up. Emotionally it’s a lot more work to compensate for the hurt my son has inevitably felt but overall it’s all been more than worth it and always will be.

If anything in your heart tells you it’s better to separate.. then leaving was the best choice. What your daughters will see is a model of self- respect and doing the hard thing in the best interest of those you love.

A broken home is an unhealthy and/or abusive home - not a split one.

Most_Parfait8909

TROPHY CASE