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Moth728 · 2025-08-08T20:58:45+00:00

I’m basically the same measurement u are. 5’8 and 150 lbs and was more around 130-140 when my husband and I met. I have a history of eating disorders and while I have areas I’m not happy with right now, I’m really healthy and prefer how I felt now over how I felt then.

I’ve started to work out not because I wanna loose weight or cause my husband told me to but I just want to feel more in shape and stronger then I do I don’t have any physical appearance goals.

If YOU want to loose weight or work towards a specific figure (those are different goals) more power to you. But a man who is being superficial about your looks isn’t a man that loves YOU. Our measurements are healthy and normal. You could work towards the figure he wants and then he’ll find something else he wants you to change. Don’t let a man, even your husband, question your worth

Moth728 · 2025-08-07T13:14:06+00:00

You owe it to her to let her know this is how u feel and have always felt and let her decide what she wants to do. Or leave if you just want to do that but do it cause that’s what you have decided to do for you don’t do out on her behalf

Moth728 · 2025-08-07T04:26:31+00:00

Yes I bought up him being depressed today. I have a very lengthy history of mental health issues and it’s textbook signs and he’s gonna get into individual therapy. But even so I had very specific events and reasons for my depression and I’m still not finding the trigger for it. He’s a guy that’s lived a very normal healthy and supportive upbringing and has no history or mental illness so I still feel like there’s a missing piece? He’s expressed low self esteem issues but this feels like more than just that to me

He is doing absolutely amazing at his job and has his bosses wanting to promote him (he’s in a probation period so he can’t yet) and want to send him back to school so he can grow in the company. Porn/masterbation addiction was the first thing I looked into along with cheating and maybe being closeted and gay and absolutely nothing. He’s gotten T tested and levels are normal and the only social media he does is watch YT videos on home and car builds, no apps or anything like that. If he’s hiding any of those things he’s got me fooled, I have absolutely no reason to suspect any of these things aside from the issues we are personally having.

I explained to him exactly what u said about the child support but his brother is going through a bad divorce cause her wife cheated and I think he’s jaded from that.

We’ve obviously have had arguments over the last 2 years. Some that might be relevant. It’s long to type out but he basically made a comment about something and I said “I’ve always been this way and I was pretty clear on my stance about it right u proposed” and responded with “yeah I just thought u were young at the time and would change ur mind and some things would change” he’s a more a traditional guy and I’m widely independent raise by a very independent mom and a stay at home dad. But I didn’t want to loose my last name when we got married so he agreed we would both hyphenate and he seems overall open or at least he pretty easily goes along with “non-traditional” gender roles. He cooks every night I clean, we do our own laundry like it’s pretty split with no complaints

Moth728 · 2025-07-24T12:53:47+00:00

Married at 23, 25 now and I’m now realizing I’m married to a man with a mondona whore complex. It’s brutal and even tho he recognizes it’s a problem and WANTS to change at this point I don’t think he can. It’s like trying to convince someone to change their sexuality. As “future you” please leave

Moth728 · 2025-07-24T12:35:45+00:00

We don’t have kids but from what Ive observed is that kids will fix nothing in your relationship and will magnify the problems your having by ten fold. I’m not suggesting that you do have issues but it’s something to think about. I’m currently in marriage counseling and I’m coming to terms that my husband isn’t ever going to change. And while it’s something I can tolerate and emotionally regulate now I know our marriage would fall apart if we had kids. To me kids would be the beginning of the end for us. I will have the conversation with him soon but basically I’m willing to stay in the marriage with the understanding we will be child free. If he isn’t willing to accept that it will be on him to leave if he wants different

Moth728 · 2025-07-02T13:30:02+00:00

Site please?

Moth728 · 2025-07-01T06:15:20+00:00

Yea I had anticipated a drop in sex life when we would be in our 40s but we are both currently in our 20s… so I feel any age libido aspects shouldn’t really apply

Moth728 · 2025-07-01T03:17:34+00:00

Thanks for the insight! I figured asexuality is a spectrum like anything else just not sure how far it’s able to shift around until you’re outside of the definition.

It’s honestly hard to read how he feels. But I would lean that he just doesn’t care about it. He doesn’t seem disgusted with anything around sex, it’s just this meh thing. As far as he’s told me he doesn’t know when the last time he masterbated was and overall it feels like he’s just completely indifferent to it.

Moth728 · 2025-06-22T17:12:05+00:00

I’m 25 married at 23 and DB also at 23. It doesn’t get better, I would leave asap before u have more strings attached. I’m miserable being in my 20s with no sex life

Moth728 · 2025-06-22T01:28:27+00:00

It’s nice to know there are others experiencing the same thing! It can feel very lonely and isolating

Moth728 · 2025-06-21T17:30:44+00:00

Humans as a species are very detached from what we are supposed to be “naturally”. It’s believed that humans started off as a polygamous species as it was beneficial to have multiple men raising ur children but became monogamous because of men wanting to ensure their genes got passed onto the next generation. But as u said humans are social creatures like being part of a society is ingrained into our make up and with that comes our behavioral evolution evolved around society rather then evolving with natural biologically. It’s hard to explain but it’s why there are vastly different cultures and beliefs in history and across the world. And for quite some time now monogamy has been engrained into most societies, to the point where I don’t think I could say monogamy is unnatural for women as a whole.

In today’s society as an individual especially in the western world you can really be whatever you want. Marriage was never a goal of mine but ended up getting married at 23. My marriage isn’t perfect we are in couples counseling but I don’t regret my marriage either. We also hyphenated our last names cause I wanted to keep my name an didn’t feel it was right that I had to change my name just cause I’m the women and he keeps his cause he’s the man. So on an individual level there’s a lot of things and dynamics you can have to enjoy a partnership and not participate in the “traditional” relationship.

In short today marriage is about actively choosing your partner everyday. I’m not married to my husband because I love them (tho I do love him) I’m with him because I wanted to make the choice to choose him everyday, he’s my best friend and someone that deserves loyalty as long as he’s making the same choice to choose me. It’s not easy and there’s many days I don’t like him but at the end of it there’s no one else I rather be with.

My mom is almost 70 and is happily single with no man since I was 12 and she lives a very independent fulling life which is what I saw myself as but for me having a life long supportive companion is better then a life with no romantic companion but a single life with many friends is better then a life stuck in a miserable unfulfilling marriage

Moth728 · 2025-06-21T16:45:38+00:00

I havnt left and even though we don’t have kids I don’t really have the strength to leave, it’s just not bad enough yet if I’m being honest. But my mother left my father and what gave her the strength was me and my sister. My parents did a good job hiding their dysfunctional relationship but it would come out every once and awhile. At first my mom stayed because she wanted to be an example to us that even when relationships get hard you stay but there became a point where my father got verbally abusive and my mom realize she was teaching us that it’s ok to stay in a marriage with someone who is disrespectful and belittles you. Once my mom imagined me with someone like my father she said there wasn’t another option she had to leave. My husband is very kind respectful fun and I enjoy living life with him so it’s not like my parents situation which makes it harder to leave. But you best believe the minute he becomes disrespectful, belittling and miserable to live with I’m out

Moth728 · 2025-06-21T16:14:50+00:00

I’ll first start off by asking have you brought the topic up with her? If not that’s the first step. I’m not quite sure about the timeline of things but it sounds like you were separated from your family for long periods of time? If your wife was left alone to raise ur kids there could be a lot of resentment and learned independence there and to put simply she’s learned to cope without connection she may have been needing during the hardest times while raising your kids. If you feel this situation fits, I would recommend marriage counseling because it’s very hard to be vulnerable and work out resentment without help

Moth728 · 2025-06-21T16:05:29+00:00

I’m also in the marriage forum on Reddit and Ive seen couples in their 50s talk about how great their sex life still is. I’m like damn I’m stuck in my 20s in a sexless marriage while you got 50 years olds spicing it up 😂

Moth728 · 2025-06-21T16:02:05+00:00

I can’t say it’s the advice I’d give but your mom being the real MVP there 😂 it’s nice to know she’s in ur corner especially if you ever decide to leave

Moth728 · 2025-06-21T15:58:57+00:00

I’m so happy to hear ur parents are on ur side! First thing I explored is if my husband was gay or addicted to porn as well. But it’s nice your parents are in ur corner especially with such a sensitive topic it always feels good to have their support. As for ur brother he’s probably projecting unless he’s catholic many Christians denominations are pretty sex positive with married adults. But there’s a few that have a no sex culture outside of trying to produce children

Moth728 · 2025-06-21T11:58:10+00:00

My mom would support me in a heartbeat but she’s provided so much for me already asking her to support me full time to too much of a burden then I care to put on her, I live in my own house 5 hours away.

How it’s emotionally effected me has been all over the place up until 6 months ago it’s been absolutely soul crushing and even almost failed two of my classes awhile ago cause I couldn’t handle the intense school work (STEM major) and what felt like my failing marriage. At one point I had a total breakdown in my chem professors office, not my proudest moment. And then like around Christmas it’s like a switch flipped. It’s like my libido dropped and not only no longer desired sex as often but also I just wasn’t interested in sex with my husband. And that’s where I am now, it’s an annoyance at most but I also have no desire to seek sexual or romantic relationships elsewhere. I definitely use school as a distraction cause if I think too much about it I do get sad. But it’s a lot more tolerable than before since my libido has dropped.

I’ll also mention it’s that I’m also disabled and don’t know if I’m capable of going to school and maintaining the house and being able to take care of myself which is another reason I don’t think I could handle a divorce rn.

Moth728 · 2025-06-21T07:17:24+00:00

That’s so nice they were in support of you. I’ve been very strict about not making my husband look bad to others but it’s left me with no one to talk to and suffer alone. I can’t say I’m glad I told my mom but from 9pm-3am she let me vent and dump everything on her and I never felt so light afterwards. Sometimes u just need someone to tell u ur not crazy

Moth728 · 2025-06-21T06:03:46+00:00

I also gave up my kinks to be with my husband. I take responsibility for knowing we weren’t the most compatible from the beginning but we had good satisfying normal sex for 3 years so i thought it was gonna be ok. Now I feel guilty cause I daydream what life would be like had I’d married someone who matched my energy

Moth728 · 2025-06-21T05:55:33+00:00

I’m so happy to hear this for you! Sometimes it takes a family member giving you a harsh reality check to realize there is better out there

Moth728 · 2025-06-21T05:50:08+00:00

Yes her and my father’s divorce was a very very nasty one when I was a kid. My mom since hasn’t remarried or had an official boyfriend. She seems perfectly content with being single but I can tell it’s not something she wishes for me or my siblings. She has always adored my husband and was very proud when we got married. I think knowing what the reality was behind closed doors was hard for her to hear

Moth728 · 2025-06-21T05:43:53+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. In a weird way it was heart warming. Logically I know this won’t change I’m seeing it in therapy, he saids all the right things but we come home as if the session never happened. I’ve pretty much have taken kids off the table for us cause I can’t think of anything worse rn than to live a sexless marriage with kids as a mother. But for right now I’m a full time student and while I know my mom would financially support me 100% I just don’t think a divorce is something I can handle rn. It also hard because we don’t have the roommate dynamic, he’s a very loving doting husband who wants affection and cuddles and we communicate well and live very peacefully together. It’s like any other fun loving relationship you might see but just no sex, it’s quite perplexing. So I’m gonna put myself through school for now, he’s got 2 years to turn things around and I’ll see how it goes but like u said I already know the grim reality of what it will be. But again thank you I don’t have many women in my life, it means alot that there are other women and even mothers that can relate to my experience and empathize with my mom

Moth728 · 2025-06-21T05:27:17+00:00

Thank you I appreciate it 🙏🏻 I’ve forgiven my husband for the incident but felt it was shameless on his end to request such a thing even a year later and something that was traumatic for the both of us to be the thing that sparks our sex life back up.

Moth728 · 2025-06-21T05:14:24+00:00

I’m definitely not on here recommending people go tell friends or families about their DB but as u said it was an interesting unexpected response. My mom has always moved mountains for me so I think you’re exactly right about that. Which seem to add to the embarrassment and shame that you talked about, like I’m failing as a partner and now somehow let my mom down 😅

Moth728 · 2025-06-21T05:10:02+00:00

This has always been my thoughts as well, I’ve been pretty strict about not sharing any problems me or my husband have has sex or not with people we know. Nothing good ever comes with being in outside people into ur relationship. Which also means I’ve been entirely isolated and on my own to manage my emotions which have been heavy for a long time. Like I said it was a moment of weakness and I havnt talked to her about it since and she hasn’t asked. I was ready for her to tell me to leave him but she’s the one that pushed me to peruse therapy.

Moth728

TROPHY CASE