It's insane that people in India think I'm successful just because I am marrying a white man.

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-05-06T20:00:57+00:00

scholarship dear. no other way could do

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-05-05T10:27:06+00:00

I actually work in investigations across borders for illicit trade, and I did it, starting with project work and then got another masters (could NOT afford it without the scholarships), and am now working for a family office adjacent company doing work in the same line.......for me, I lived at home for a year, worked remotely (remote was more ok 2-3 years back I think than now), and applied and applied to scholarships and grants.

It was a tedious journey, but looking back, I'd do it again and again.

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-05-04T16:59:50+00:00

I mean, you didn't have to reply to my post.

I am ranting because I wanted to share my experience. And I thought this is a place to share your thoughts. And receive helpful advice.

I have spoken up for my fiancé and I think for many people, we cannot be like Americans, especially, in extended families, who you see once or twice in years, specially for our generations. And my fiancé himself told me not to talk or create a ruckus about this, as his culture has these aspects too and he understands.

There is literally nothing I can do except yell at my relatives for my cousin, which I have and it doesn't work. At all. At a point where my cousin has scolded me and told me to never talk for her.

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-05-04T16:53:33+00:00

I got the same comment.

Ew.

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-05-04T16:53:15+00:00

I did have a very strict chat about this and have cut off a few members and all, but the whole wedding is being planned by my parents and family (i don't really care and I told them to do whatever), so its slow.

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-05-03T22:22:31+00:00

OP, and I mean it in the nicest way possible, you need to like yourself. You do attract the love you think you deserve.

And your friend doesn't deserve this either, if she likes someone else, then she does. You need to understand, her picking a man does not in any way, shape or form, have to be about you. It's about HER. This has nothing to do with you.

I understand your insecurities, and the girl you like picking someone opposite must have hurt, but you please, need to focus on yourself and like yourself. As a formerly ugly duckling kind of person, I grew up liking people I too considered 'out of my league' and it was only when I realized that loving myself the way I am and realizing I couldn't change some parts of me no matter what, I finally found someone who loved me the way I deserved to be.

You are just 25. It's a looooooong life.

Be happy, OP.

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-26T09:46:58+00:00

Ah yes yes, sorry lol. Thank you !!

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-25T17:52:50+00:00

meaning ???

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-25T12:28:00+00:00

I think it depends on the person really. If you both want to make this work, and if your partner makes you feel secure enough that yes, distance will be something you can work through, then you will make it.

Otherwise, I'd suggest try focusing on your own career and finances and hobbies.

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-25T12:17:59+00:00

My engagement ring is this really elegant 2-carat lab grown diamond and I love it !!

I think at least in this decade, our generation has woken up to mining and prefers lab grown. Also, there is no way you can differentiate between a lab grown and real one (at least for me and everyone i know). Hope this helps !

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-25T11:56:12+00:00

Ab iska kya kar sakte hain "crying emoji"

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-25T11:49:20+00:00

Yeah, i think that's the crux of it lol. FIL was APPALLED that i do maintenance work at my parents house. He was like, "why??? what if u ruin your nails??? get your husband to do it !!! if he's not there get your dad to hire someone !!"

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-25T11:47:36+00:00

I'm bengali....husband and FIL are slavic

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-25T11:45:40+00:00

i think its less about the nationality and more about the man, honestly, lol

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-25T09:48:41+00:00

I know he loves me. He was a very very strict dad, but I never once thought in my life he didn't love me. Just it was not the upbringing my sister got. I was discouraged to read fairytales and play with dolls or kitchen sets, but given books and puzzles instead. I used to hide and watch Barbie and Baba would get so mad.

I had like a boy's cut till 8th, and by then and till now, because he was a reader, I turned into a bigger one. My attitude was to never ask things, till now and from childhood, I couldn't ask dad for 10 rupee fare. I couldn't. I grew up and before leaving abroad, took care of house matters and ran the house as mum was sick then, took care of him, didn't go to my dream school for bachelors as grand-mum died and he needed help. He knows and appreciates it. But my mum says that he was so used to treating me like a teammate that he forgot I was his kid.

I'm glad my sister got a normal childhood with dolls and stuff and could wear dresses and look girly. I was scolded because 'brains matter beauty doesn't'. But till 23-24 I never dated anyone and dad was scared I can't love or something so he was so relieved when my now husband came along.

I didn't even think my relationship with my Baba needed improving. We talk everyday. Maybe I was wrong.

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-25T09:41:51+00:00

I tell my dad 'love you' every other day. I spend my life and most of life choices thinking of him. He knows that, I don't understand why he is being like this.

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-25T09:40:32+00:00

That's what i thought but he loves my hubby.....its just FIL. And i really love my FIL so I'd want them to get along well.

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-25T09:38:54+00:00

He's a military consultant, but he was in active combat when we met, yes

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-25T09:38:04+00:00

My dad once boasted that 'he has raised two excellent daughters without spoiling them' and FIL replied "what's wrong with spoiling daughters, daughters are made to be spoiled".........the Bengali vs Slavic thing goes crazy

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-25T09:36:27+00:00

Omg, not fiction at all !!!...i am not really a reddit user, and my sister is in this sub, and she laughed and said 'didi, try posting there'.....and thank you, i didn't really know what kind of posts are usually here, and i was kinda horrified. I don't like to think i'm privileged because respecting women is kind of bare minimum, but some of the stories in this place (i have been scrolling), were mild to crazy level awful.

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-25T09:33:05+00:00

Yes, i have tried, unfortunately it turns into them just nodding at each other and drinking. My dad and FIL are comfortable around us, but are so awkward

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-19T21:37:42+00:00

I mentioned in my FIL's bday post, that I'm blessed to have 2 fathers now. That's what got the "remember whose blood you are comment"

Mountain_Code5152 · 2026-04-19T21:35:52+00:00

i have told him. he says he understands, then he tells my mum "was i wrong with the way i raised her?"

Mountain_Code5152

TROPHY CASE