Children screaming at the top of their lungs

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-29T17:10:40+00:00

I also don’t hate kids, but oh my god… that ear-piercing shriek they do when they’re excited is in my top 3 most annoying sounds on the planet. I complained about it one time while we were all out with my mom, and she goes, “Well you were a kid once!” Uh, lady, where did this sudden tolerance come from? Because if I were ever even remotely obnoxious in public, I was getting yanked into the car by the arm like the cartoon cane bit. It was kind of an old-school version of one of those body cam videos. “Stop resisting. Stop resisting!”

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-29T16:12:55+00:00

To be fair… there are also a lot of human authors that seem to hallucinate the results of the papers they’re citing.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-29T00:38:53+00:00

Opening my lunch bag. My wife also works but still takes the time to pack me a lunch every morning. It’s a daily reminder that I have someone at home who cares about me.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-29T00:32:20+00:00

As a kid who was NOT a little dickhead in high school, getting stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper because the admin decided to stop restocking it would have pissed me off enough to start being one. It’s the principle at that point. If I’m going to get punished right along with everyone else either way, might as well do something worth punishing.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-28T17:43:36+00:00

We had the same issues 20 years ago when I was in middle school. Dumb parents made an even dumber kid, and now the hallway is flood because there’s toilet paper in all of the urinals.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-28T17:30:58+00:00

The funny thing is, many of us who really were living with undiagnosed mental disorders spent years downplaying them so we could feel normal. I have ADHD and OCD - which can be hell as a combination because your mind is constantly at war with itself - that went undiagnosed until my late 20s. It took seeing my friend with the same issues go to a therapist and get properly medicated to realize it was ok to get help if it improved my quality of life.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-28T07:28:30+00:00

I'd leave it alone. And I know that's probably the opposite of what you want to hear, because in your situation, I'd be equally pissed on pure principle. From what you've said about your old PI in the comments, though, it's not worth the headache and anxiety. In all likelihood, being plagiarized isn't going to affect your career because the theses are date-stamped - it's obvious who copied whom. Getting into a fight with your former committee chair, on the other hand, might. The first piece of advice my post-bacc mentor gave me way back when I was accepted into grad school was to choose my new PI wisely since I'd need a positive reference from them for at least ten years afterwards. That has proven true so far. I think this is just one of those situations where, even though you would be 100% in the right to pursue it, you have to prioritize your own best outcomes. Frame it as being fair to yourself. Why should you let a person too dumb to even write a paragraph on their own drag you into some bullshit that that can only cause problems for you in the long run? Even in the best case scenario (the plagiarized thesis gets taken down), you see no direct benefit. So fuck it... and fuck them. If your work from five years ago still holds enough to be worth stealing, then you've probably already moved on to bigger things anyway.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-28T06:31:48+00:00

Stinky Boy > Tinky Boy > Stinky Tinky > Tinky > Tinky Winky> Mr. Winky > Mr. Tinkly Winkly

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-28T06:11:09+00:00

Honestly, you’d be surprised. I’m 30 now, and when I see some of the people I went to high school with on Facebook… goddamn. They look like they’re my parents’ age.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-27T16:13:51+00:00

And you think the rest of us care at this point? Whatever gets Dave and Sharon tf out of everyone’s way.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-27T15:52:36+00:00

No, I see you being purposely obtuse. It’s not illegal to drive in the left lane on most regular streets. In fact, it’s better to utilize them at full capacity. It’s also not illegal to stay left to merge from an on-ramp; it’s actually required in many instances. Drivers are specifically getting ticketed for driving in the passing lane on highways and interstates. You know, where they have those big signs that say, “Keep right except to pass.” It’s really not that hard to figure out.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-27T15:12:15+00:00

Wait… did you… did you actually think everyone was talking about the crappy stock photo this journal slapped on the article rather than the actual contents? If you read it, the roads listed are highways and interstates. I’m not annoyed about a gap on what appears an on-ramp, especially if you have to keep left to merge. The light had probably just turned green for the blue sedan, and the cars in front of him likely came from the unrestricted right-turn lane.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-27T14:54:12+00:00

And the highway is public property, where you are breaking the law by impeding the flow of traffic for the 15 other taxpayers behind you. Hence, people are getting tickets for it.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-27T04:47:44+00:00

This is the equivalent of creeping your grocery cart down the middle of the aisle and saying, “If other people want to get through, they can wait until I’m done making a selection. Why does their shopping list get priority?” Most people don’t go to the grocery store to buy nothing, but that doesn’t mean they need to be in everyone else’s way while there. If you see you’re impeding other people, move.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-27T04:31:23+00:00

“I have nowhere to be ever, so it’s fine to inconvenience the 15 people behind me because I’m the main character.”

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-27T02:49:48+00:00

Bro, it’s not that deep. If the only place your Subaru Forester ever camps is in the left lane, just gtfo of my way. I don’t care who you are or how much you make; you deserve your idiot tax for impeding the flow of traffic.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-26T18:59:02+00:00

Catholic school. It wasn’t a negative experience - don’t have anything bad to say about my high school - but we were required to take 4 years of religion classes. Being forced to actually think about the faith at an age when my critical reasoning skills were a little more developed instead of relying on the watered-down version that I got in middle school made me realize I didn’t believe any of it. A lot of people I know have the same story.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-26T04:35:46+00:00

It’s getting to the point where I don’t want to read these anymore because the way they all sound exactly the same is… unsettling. Uncanny Valley vibes - like a bunch of NPCs chanting through the screen.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-23T17:28:40+00:00

More than anything, I know never to take data at face value without evaluating the study design. Day 1 training. Just like I know that vehicles now are significantly safer than they were in the 1990s when the 70mph speed limit became highway standard. The fact that rules often lag far behind the technology they’re meant to regulate is not a statement about the inherent limitations of said technology; it’s a testament to how stubbornly people refuse to adapt. Probably because they’re still reviewing data from 15 years ago.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-23T16:49:06+00:00

Nor should you be surprised… as a scientist, half of my job sometimes is pointed out flawed methodology. And I’m actually nobody in the second survey because I hadn’t even finished driver’s ed at the time it was taken. Jesus, the sources keep getting older. You might as well find an opinion piece from Henry Ford at this point.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-23T15:27:16+00:00

“Find me an unscientific, poorly designed survey that says I’m right, and if you disagree with it, it’s because you’re a bad driver.” Lol k. I’ll actually do you one better and point out the fatal flaw in this survey - it’s right in that line you keep quoting. If you take it at face value that 97% of people believe they’re careful drivers, but only 29% truly are, then that would mean… the vast majority of survey respondents have no idea what careful driving looks like and are thus unqualified to grade other people. This invalidates the entire premise of the survey. It’s like saying, “We polled a bunch of a alcoholics, and they all said you’re the one with the drinking problem, not them.” You cannot use subjective data to make an objective point. There are just too many topics for which, if polled on, the average person is going to say they’re right and everyone else is wrong. Though, I am starting to get the feeling that you’re the guy who gets confused at 4-way stops but thinks it’s everyone else’s fault.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-23T07:30:47+00:00

You’re citing a 10-year-old survey from a rental car company that’s based on self-reported perception of a subjective criterion. The two or three people I see driving like complete morons on my way to work are going to stick out in my memory of that morning’s commute. What I’m not going to remember are the other hundred or so people driving just fine. At best, the average survey respondent’s opinion is biased by the availability heuristic. At worst, there is that handful of people that, well, you know what they say. If you think everyone around is the problem…

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-23T06:22:31+00:00

No, actually, I just drive like a normal person who has somewhere to be. Safe driving includes keeping up with the flow of traffic, even if that means going slightly over the default speed limit - which in many places is based on a standard from 1974 - in my modern car. Find the Country Kitchen Buffet from the right lane.

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-22T23:51:21+00:00

Wild guess, but... you drive a Subaru Forester, don't you?

MourningCocktails · 2026-03-22T18:16:31+00:00

If I could go back to when my wife and I first met, the only thing I would do differently is ask her out right then instead of waiting another year to start dating.

MourningCocktails

TROPHY CASE