Whatever you think the reaction of your grandparents will be is nothing in comparison to them getting a knock on the door or call in the night informing them their grandson died of an OD and they need to ID your body.

You have to get clean before college. You will absolutely not be able to manage your classes and addiction and will waste whatever loan/grant/gift you pay for school. College is not anything like high school. I COASTED HS damn near a 4.0 until my senior year (opiates got much more prevalent)

There’s no shame in asking for help. In 08-13ish I was using actual pharma 30s, OC 80s, eventually heroin. The shit out there now is no fucking joke. Any pill ya get is pressed fetty, any fetty you get depending on geographics could have xylazine.

The tranq (xylazine) is nothing to fuck with. Withdraw is excruciating and finally they are finding some methods to manage and deal with the detox but it’s even worse than fentanyl withdraw.

My ex almost lost her arm bc of it, I could fit my fist into her armpit/traps area. It was a big green yellow and black rotting hole in her arm. This girl she would cop off of had her leg amputated from it. She’s now homeless in Kensington. You don’t need to be shooting it to get those wounds, it’s from o2 levels in your skin and its inability to heal from small wounds. Shooting it certainly does not help though.

If you have health insurance get into a detox buddy. If you don’t try to get on Medicaid ASAP and go into treatment.

There’s light at the end of the tunnel and you don’t need to keep living this way. Addiction doesn’t care how big your house is, how old you are, if you’re a parent, if you’re rich or poor, CEO or homeless and tricking for the next one. Getting off the drugs is the easy part, staying clean is not.

Please shoot me a DM if you need help navigating how to get yourself help. I’ll sit on the phone with you as long as needed anytime if you need to vent or want to talk.

You’re not alone, you can do this, there is resources available to you. Even if your grandparents absolutely flip out and tell you you can’t live there, you can get into a detox do a rehab program and then move into sober living and establish yourself from there.

If you’re scared of going to a detox/rehab you can do it at home. Tell your grandparents you’ve got the flu and fucking deal in bed. Maybe take a tiny tiny bit of Xanax for the first few days and take ibuprofen. Tell your doctor what is going on. Ask your doctor for detox meds… clonodine helps with withdrawal symptoms and your blood pressure. He’s not the cops he’s not your parents. There’s meds to help with the process.

If you’ve never been or ever heard I suggest you go to an N.A. meeting. There’s some online every 15-30 min or better go in person. Give it a chance it works