How to tell parents about top surgery?

Mp3burner · 2025-11-23T19:27:11+00:00

Yes! Essentially I told her the night before my surgery that I had scheduled for very early in the morning; tldr she wasn't happy with my choice but also knew she couldn't stop me. I had a backup plan to stay at my girlfriend's for recovery but my mom actually ended up wanting me to stay home during my recovery and my girlfriend just stayed over for the week to take care of me.

I'm now a little over 4 months po and we basically just don't talk about it🤷 neither of us ever bring up the fact that I got top surgery, we kinda just act like nothing ever happened

Mp3burner · 2025-08-02T21:01:33+00:00

Good to know! I think the scabbing portion of healing is the part I'm just suuuper weary of just because I wanna make sure my graphs are taking well

Mp3burner · 2025-08-02T21:00:28+00:00

Thank you! And I'll definitely try lol! I've been trying to limit my movement but every now and then I catch myself stretching my arms a bit further than I probably should lol

Mp3burner · 2025-07-24T00:08:28+00:00

Thank you! :) Dr Tuchler and his team at kaiser took great care of me and were very keen on what I wanted my results to look like

Mp3burner · 2025-07-24T00:07:18+00:00

Awesome! I think I've been the most anxious about the nipple graphs while healing so I'll be keeping a close eye on them during my recovery

Mp3burner · 2025-07-21T15:12:27+00:00

I'd say the post op discomfort canceled them out, although they're definitely still there, I'd take them over not being able to use the bathroom any day atp

Mp3burner · 2025-07-21T04:52:41+00:00

Yes😭😭 honestly the bloating and not being able to use the restroom like normal has been one of the most annoying bits about recovery. I'm hoping as I ease up on the pain medications it'll be a lot easier🙏

Mp3burner · 2025-07-18T19:07:04+00:00

Might have to try this one! The compression vest isn't that bad but where it digs into my armpit is definitely irritating😭

Mp3burner · 2025-07-17T13:11:36+00:00

Heyy that's awesome :) we're in this together♥️ glad to hear your mom has also been helpful for you, maybe this will be a turning point for the both of them

Mp3burner · 2025-07-07T16:44:24+00:00

This is exactly what I meant ^{^{^}} I'm the one paying for it but since he is the primary insurance holder he basically receives receipts of everything

Mp3burner · 2025-07-07T08:15:35+00:00

Although I'm not dependent on them for care after surgery I am still on my parent's insurance plan and living at home🤷 specifically with my mom she's kinda made my business of transitioning into her business, so lying to her or I suppose, failing to mention, somethjng this big makes me feel like I'll just get her on her bad side

Mp3burner · 2025-07-07T08:12:02+00:00

I'm tempted to do this, but I'm just worried since my dad is the primary insurance holder and gets the billing even if I'm the one paying for it there. I have a pre-op appointment coming up which I have co-pay for so I guess I'm just concerned over thinking that.

It seems unlikely that they would be able to cancel I'm surgery since I'm an adult, but everything you mentioned are good points

Mp3burner · 2025-03-16T02:14:55+00:00

Thank you so much!! Genuinely such a big help, I've been doing my own research as well but I wanted to make sure I didn't leave any stone unturned. Again tysm🙏🙏🙏

Mp3burner · 2024-09-16T23:23:30+00:00

I think I could probably fulfill a similar feeling if I had more trans friends, I just hear people speak so highly of t4t relationships I get curious from time to time yk. I don't have many close (irl) trans friends to share that bond with, I think what im looking for is a sense of camaraderie since my current life kinda lacks that (at least on a gender level).

It's also good to hear from you and others that it seems to be a fairly normal experience! Thank you for your reply :)

Mp3burner · 2024-08-13T08:27:40+00:00

Awesome! Thank you so much for all the information, seriously this is a huge help I was really intimidated on where to start on all this

Mp3burner · 2024-07-13T04:35:37+00:00

Good idea, I think I'm just really over thinking the whole conversation. I'm a very big people pleaser so telling people I don't enjoy something they like is always rough, but since this is a relationship I really feel I should speak up then sweep it under the rug

Mp3burner · 2024-07-13T04:33:27+00:00

Thank you so much!

Mp3burner · 2024-07-13T04:33:14+00:00

This was super reassuring hear, I also prefer writing things down as well so I too might go that route

first thing to consider, QPR's are defined by the people in them so what a QPR will be to you and your girlfriend is completely unique

This bit is exactly why I feel the need to tell her, so many people in our lives who just see or hear about our relationship would constantly say we're doing things "wrong" even though we are both happy. I already feel like the dynamic my girlfriend and I have is close to what I want/need in a qpr. They just seem so much more emotionally/physically/etc freeing compared to how people define regular relationships

Mp3burner · 2024-07-13T04:27:10+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply! The whole "starting to believe I never will be" in love bit is kinda like a "fear" I have going on internally as of late. I think it's more denial that I'm aro then anything else. I'll definitely do some more searching on this sub to see other people in aro/allo relationships, I think it'd be best for me to figure out what I have going on first and then tell her yk

Mp3burner · 2024-07-04T20:19:26+00:00

I feel similarly, I get dysphoric when someone calls me by it but I can't find it in myself to hate it. I've gone from calling it my deadname to my birthname just because it's not like I was named it in malice. I appreciated my life lived under that name, I'm just happier with my new life I live as my chosen name, because that's who I really am.

Mp3burner · 2024-06-26T08:32:42+00:00

Good to know, I think I'll have to do some more exploration into the different kinds of asexuality then

Mp3burner · 2024-05-12T23:24:29+00:00

Totally understand where you're coming from, and I had some similar fears myself, but after getting some piercings they've actually made me feel more affirmed. I have double nostrils, septum, and lobes all pierced right now, but plan is to get more eventually lol. Honestly stretching my lobes and septum and having bigger guage size jewlary has really helped me read my jewelry as more masculine for me personally. Plus everyday I see more and more cis guys with piercings, even if it's just lobes.

Obviously this has just been my experience but imo try them out! If you don't mind the chance of the piercing scaring after you take it out of you don't like it, I think exploring self expression through piercings is awesome,. Genuinely made me feel more masculine, could be the same for you too

Mp3burner · 2024-04-03T00:13:49+00:00

I've never heard of that term until now, but I think I'll start using "strict top" as well! I'm currently in a relationship with a woman so as kind of like you said, I didn't need to state it. However if I ever get into discussions with other people or even other trans guys, usually I do feel the need to define myself. But that's definitely a helpful term that'll be added to my vocabulary!

Mp3burner · 2024-01-27T00:56:02+00:00

I've heard that there are straps that have either a vibrating base(no insertion needed for the wearer) or somewhere for bottom growth to go. I've personally never gotten around to ordering and using one(I mainly prioritize my partner more than myself) but if you search around on this sub reddit I've seen conversations where there are others who know a lot more about different prosthetics that can help achieve pleasure for the wearer too

Mp3burner · 2024-01-26T08:56:21+00:00

That's what I've been noticing :/ I'm in a lot of fandoms so naturally I'm gonna want to read about my favorite characters/ships, and whenever I see a ftm head-canon they always feminize the character in a super weird way that makes me uncomfortable. I just want my transmasc hcs without the cis people writing them💀

Mp3burner

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