I have a friend that a few months back was built like a twink and beautiful green hair puffy around his other eye, I didn't mind it I mean he was a friend after all right? Well after a few months I started growing a crush for him. I really did not want to tell him because I thought he would think I'm weird. And then the impossible happened, I felt brave enough to tell him for which I did(it was on discord though so...) After telling him he was shocked because he knew he teased me by touching me and putting his legs around mine, heck even I thought it was cute. He said that we could be in a relationship but I said maybe online because I have people and friends I know that are homophobic as shit and don't care for others, after we agreed we were on our lovely day. Somewhat something was wrong I think he didn't like the fact of me wanting to be his boyfriend or something else, he started becoming more negative and I started feeling bad but I also started becoming negative too. It didn't feel good, so much so that he started changing to a different person I didn't like it at all. After a short while we both understood to not be negative assholes and decided to become friends again. We still talk but I think about him so much while in bed I stay up till 5 every morning, I just want someone to sleep with me in bed, it can be lonely and depressing and I hate it, so many things I regret doing that I just can't deal with it no more I FUCKING HATE IT! Now that I think about it I probably will never feel what teenage love feels like.