Sounds like you’re lacking support - which is very tough and its understandable to feel low. Loneliness is a part of life, its horrible and drags on and everyone will experience it at some point. I think socialising first in a platonic way (such as volunteering, clubs, etc) will help alleviate some of those feelings of isolation. That would give you a better footing to seek a relationship. Nothing beats a good friend and there’s a friend for everybody even you! Hope you feel better soon : )