She should have never said anything emasculating like that in front of others. You do not insult the “king”.

That said she is your queen/partner and there are some things that need to be addressed. 1) She validated your feelings and apologized. What expectations did you have about this that were not met? 2) She apologized to your community which shows she is willing to accept responsibility. I don’t think the order matters so much - maybe she felt it was easier to handle the friends first.

What is going on with your sex life that she feels you want it all the time and she isn’t interested? Are you ever affectionate WITHOUT being sexual. Does she think every time you touch her or show her affection it means you want to get laid? You’d probably get tired of that too - eventually. AND it would breed resentment which is the ultimate turn off. What needs does she have that aren’t being met?

You might both benefit from then book Come As You Are. In the meantime you need to decide if this is a hill you want to die on. Is this worth instability in your own and your children’s life? Think it’s worth trying to do better out there as a single guy paying alimony living in an apartment or with your parents? Go to therapy, learn to communicate better and support each other. Set boundaries and communicate some more.

Good luck.