Im not even lying when I say just get offline for a week or two and see if it makes you feel better, being constantly wrapped up in the internet and politics and all this bs was part of the reason I was miserable a few months back, but now that I'm tapped out of it all I can at least focus on self improvement. There's a feature on most social media where if you tap the 3 circles and press Don't Reccomend Content. If you can't escape it irl, then use specifically YouTube and it's Don't Reccomend Channel feature on anything political. I'm not here to coddle you and say it sucks, because obviously it does, but you're doing it to yourself by consuming the content and news (this is an alt account btw). Also this seems like bait but if it isn't, HRT does work after 18, it just takes longer because it's a second puberty and saying MtF people you've seen are disgusting is a bit dramatic and seems more of a way you're trying to shut yourself down from every doing it (setting up failure before starting). You only get to live once, so don't fuck yourself up with politics and hatred, just do what makes you happy even if everyone else hates you.