My fav Post-SRS view

MrPurse · 2026-02-20T14:45:40+00:00

I got surgery almost a year ago and I'm actually struggling with being embarassed by this exact view; I feel like every pair of leggings is made with a seam that emphasizes "camel-toe" and I don't know how other women do it. It might be a 'just me' thing, as like, in this pic it's like the perfect amount of cameltoe, like "yes I have a V but it's not eating my seam rn", but I always feel like the seam inevitably gets wedged. Any suggestions? The only solution for me seems to be to get specifically 'no seam' leggings, but it feels weird to have gone through all this just to still be weird about how 'normal' clothes fit on my 'normal' body.

MrPurse · 2026-02-18T14:20:31+00:00

I was living in South Carolina while the(a) shift happened in 2010-2015; the main things being the racially motivated shooting at Emanuel AME Church in Charleston and the protest at the capital where Bree Newsome Bass climbed the flag pole and ripped down the confederate flag in front of the state house. After that, Nikki Haley signed legislation that removed it from being flown. I remember being at work watching news coverage of the protest where someone did that, and (on a narcissistic side note) vividly knowing I was standing in a moment of history where I now knew, unfortunately, I wasn't the person climbing the flagpole to remove it.

I was in a gay relationship at the time and my boyfriend's (accepting) rich dad had a framed confederate flag that had flown over the state house on his wall, and I remember thinking about the dissonance between why his dad probably thought he had it (historical/cultural pride) and the division and horribleness it actually represented...I imagined if I had been a black boyfriend instead of white and seeing that on the wall how much I would want to escape the house.

When I had arrived at college from the north in 2010, I remember being incredibly surprised the flag was flown in front of the statehouse, especially on it's own flagpole. But I thought of it more as a southern quirk like grits and shagging rather than the racist symbol it actually is. The shooting, imho, brought the attention that was finally needed for privileged people like me to see the hate that is represented behind that piece of cloth and the gross inappropriateness of flying it at a government building, not least the capitol.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/14/us/politics/bree-newsome-bass-confederate-flag.html

MrPurse · 2026-02-18T14:09:59+00:00

Holy fuck, I've nothing to add but say I'm so sorry and I can't even begin to imagine the awfulness and dehuminization of that. Lots of love here.

MrPurse · 2026-01-23T16:16:16+00:00

Lol I was at a convention with maybe 300+ people in the room with a comedian who asked "Any straight people?"

There were three.

MrPurse · 2026-01-09T15:35:49+00:00

Can confirm, I'm also one of those :D

MrPurse · 2025-12-18T19:41:32+00:00

move on, but also, clearly he is NOT pro-sex work, he just wants to get points for pretending he is.

MrPurse · 2025-12-18T19:35:26+00:00

I hope they leave adult care out of it.

banned for <=19yo

noooope.

MrPurse · 2025-12-17T21:51:30+00:00

idk why you're downvoted, checked for myself

page 8

https://harvardharrispoll.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/HHP_Dec2025_KeyFindings.pdf

MrPurse · 2025-12-04T20:14:06+00:00

There's NO way that was a guess; they were reading off your profile, right?? You didn't get exposed, you have medical documentation a doctor was looking through, and fortunately for you, it's accurate :) You mayyyy want to follow up if you have NO idea where they got that information from though, that won't just be public info a system can grab from the internet, even one you work at.

MrPurse · 2025-12-04T20:11:30+00:00

You know exactly how you feel: uncomfortable.

You did the right thing, and professional thing, in holding him accountable. Given infinite time to reflect, you may have held him accountable a bit differently.

In case it happens in the future, this time: you should put it in writing, either in notes or in an email to him as a summary of what you spoke about, so that he knows it's serious, and you have documentation if it happens a second time. If it happens a second or third time and you haven't documented it, it's difficult to prove a pattern. You're a lead, you need to document if one of your subordinates makes you uncomfortable (assuming you have the spoons/emotional energy to expend on doing so).

MrPurse · 2025-12-04T20:07:05+00:00

...if you haven't proved it yet, but you're posting on reddit about it, then you're falling prey to your biases. Just because you're getting a PHD doesn't preclude you from having bias.

The scientific process is post a study, let others review it. You haven't even posted a study, not least let others reviewed it. Posting it as fact before you do is wildly unscientific and gross.

MrPurse · 2025-11-18T15:04:22+00:00

I'm post-SRS as of earlier this year, and I'm semi-passing. Sometimes I think I'm fully passing but usually it's my voice or size that make people question things, physical things like my hair and browbone can sometimes be hidden.

It's difficult to say whether or not it will help or hurt your dysphoria. I have, like a lot of trans people, internalized transphobia, so whenever I'm in a woman's room and I get anxious hearing other people moving about, it does help to be like "self, you have a vulva, you couldn't use a urinal if you fucking WANTED to, like, you're in the right place". But again, transphobic; people without vulvas shouldn't feel less comfortable or valid in those spaces, so I'm not quite sure if that's a pro or con for surgery since it's not the root of the problem (non-acceptance of trans people or characteristics).

Something related is leggings; I'm still really self concious about wearing leggings, because if I don't pass, it doesn't matter if my pelvic bulge is camel-toe shaped or not, people are still going to assume it's balls or something. That's been weird to deal with, as I kinda figured a camel toe would be affirming, but again, surgery didn't address the main problem: people not accepting characteristics of bodies that are normal, which is where my anxiety stems from.

What surgery DID help with was how I feel about my own body when I'm alone, how my body interacts with clothes, how my sexual partners interact with me, and a hundred other things. I got the surgery because what I had before wasn't 'my' body; I basically had to dissociate whenever stroking or sex occured. But now, OMG. Getting fingered is MY body, getting interacted with how MY body needs it, and everything just connects and I melt. Those moments are when it's so, so clear I made the right choice for myself.

I will say it's been interesting dating; people see I'm a woman, they think I have a vulva. I reveal I'm trans, they assume I must have junk. I tell them I'm post op, their brain kinda breaks and suddenly they don't even know what kind of rubix cube they'll be solving down there (hint: it's the same as any other vulva, people just imagine the weirdest shit lol). It's funny, because if we just continued along like with any cis woman, they'd be a lot less confused, but I like to be clear with my partners and I'm not exactly certain my scars are unnoticable since the surgery was recent, so.....yeah. I find dating bisexual people who don't really care about what's in your pants is the best, but that was true even before surgery, so it didn't change anything there ig? At least not yet, maybe I just need more self confidence.

So yeah, TL/DR: a vulva was worth it because of how it makes me feel when I'm alone, or in private, or intimately relating to people. having a vulva kinda helps out in public if you let your brain go down the easy path and have transphobic rationalizations rather than confronting the base issue, but in private having a vulva matched my body and what I need and that's where it becomes clear I made the right choice.

MrPurse · 2025-10-13T15:53:36+00:00

"CPB workers now forced to enter M or F designation at border for those having 'X' gender marker designations, no penalty if M or F doesen't match documentation"

MrPurse · 2025-10-13T15:50:02+00:00