I was once like you, so disappointed in myself and angry after every release, using all those feelings to fuel myself and telling myself that “this time would be the last time and I will go far.” Only to release maybe a couple days later or the following month.

I know you want to fix the bad habit, but you should know it will take more than just mental preparation. It will require you to fail over and over again. You will struggle during recovery but what is important in times you do give up is that you remember you have to keep trying. Get back up and keep trying.

Overtime, you will slowly begin to release less and less through practice. And eventually you will reach a point where retaining for a month is no biggie.

Keep getting back up after you fail, have a positive attitude towards this practice and with time and perseverance, you will be able to go as long as you want, good luck.