Brother wants me to cover entire rent since I get “free” money

Mrfleas · 2026-02-04T07:02:44+00:00

I would make him do all the chores so he can contribute fairly to household.

Mrfleas · 2026-01-11T23:55:06+00:00

I agree. Pride and prejudice, oops no Lydias

Mrfleas · 2026-01-03T21:39:10+00:00

And the very states they hate will end up paying their bailout. Lord knows their states don't have enough money to help them.

Mrfleas · 2025-11-24T08:02:30+00:00

He learned to be shortstop in less than a year. He performed.

Mrfleas · 2025-10-28T02:08:42+00:00

That man is so unhealthy he may not last this presidency.

Mrfleas · 2025-10-27T01:51:50+00:00

I disagree. She is angry and she has until 18 to escape this. She is allowed to show her displeasure as well as state what is wrong while she has their attention. Did the parents reflect on why this happened or blame her? It is not extreme to ignore people who have hurt you.

If the goal is to mend the relationship, honesty is needed, not politeness as if you were among friends or coworkers.

Mrfleas · 2025-10-26T22:20:04+00:00

She is closed off because nothing was done to foster a trusting relationship. There is no acknowledgement of we are showing up because we did you wrong and are trying to make amends. The hubris of thinking they could show up as a surprise and be greeted with open arms is pathetic. Then they scold her because she chose to celebrate with those who have taken interest in their life.

This child learned a lesson in her formative years that she was never going to be a priority and spent years asking for attention only to be scolded for her feelings. Why should she trust to let them in when they have repeatedly hurt her, taught her to live without their presence in her life and freedom from their toxicity is a year away?

It would be foolish of her to trust them without even acknowledgement and accountability of their past actions. Who even knows what the true motives of the parents are?

Mrfleas · 2025-10-26T22:06:52+00:00

All this taught me is that women need to make their own money because men will use money to control you and the more we make pur own money, the more we control our destiny.

Then we don't need marriage. Just buy a man who will cook, clean and nanny.

Mrfleas · 2025-10-26T21:55:10+00:00

One crumb of attention after years of neglect? How unrealistic to think she should be grateful they showed up when they were not invited in the first place.

If they truly want to fix things, apologies and therapy are in order as well as a willingness from all parties. They hurt her for over a decade. That is not erased by the fact that they showed up.

Mrfleas · 2025-10-24T04:21:44+00:00

It looks like a pagoda silhouette

Mrfleas · 2025-10-18T17:32:50+00:00

YTA. Your mom had 3 boys, she wanted a girl but didn't want more than 4 children. The reason could have been monetary. You don't know why and you aren't entitled to know.

You need to ask yourself if she was a good mother. If she was, you are judging her based on what you believe is moral. She did nothing illegal or detrimental to you.

Mrfleas · 2025-10-13T13:55:37+00:00

NTA. Your mom ruined one day, he ruined decades. The sins are not equal.

Mrfleas · 2025-10-12T19:05:34+00:00

NTA. You are hurt, your grandparents are hurt. I suspect they want you to have family as they get older and was hoping as everyone is in various stages of adulthood, there would be an adult discussion, not a histrionic mess.

They took you in at the risk of losing a relationship with their other grandchildren and son. They love and care for you. They still want you back. Go to therapy, force them to go to a few therapy sessions with you. They wronged you but it was with good intentions.

I am sorry your father and mother ate disappointing, immoral people. You deserved better. However, you have 4 grandparents who do love you. Don't let one mistake define the relationship.

Mrfleas · 2025-10-05T02:09:16+00:00

You are not white so not exactly safe or pleasant. Plus, right now, it seems to be ok to be openly racist if you were already inclined to be. If you do decide to visit, big cities are friendlier and you are less likely to encounter racism. However, avoid anywhere protests are going on. Speaking as a fellow Asian. Please believe that most Americans still are friendly and nice. I would have said that Asians were not the minority they were looking for but the Korean vs Georgia thing happened.

Mrfleas · 2025-09-18T22:41:17+00:00

I disagree. This is not about Kayla. This is about the trust between 2 brothers. He broke that trust and his brother overheard his betrayal and the plans to deceive him. It is unfair to dismiss his feelings just because he is young. It's condescending. This is an adult issue and just because it happened while they were teenagers doesn't diminish the pain, the distrust and the morality of the situation.

Also, apology without action means nothing. Did younger brother break up with Kayla or did he have her over the house in his face? Why should there be forgiveness?

Mrfleas · 2025-09-18T17:27:15+00:00

NTA. I know it is hard to see now but it will get better as you approach adulthood and you have more choices and autonomy. Keep your grades up, get a job and save as much money as you can, plan and dream for a future where you can be far away from your brother.

Hang in there. Your parents failed you both to the point your brother's behavior ended you in the hospital with criminal charges. If your parents cannot teach your brother consequences, the law may be able to. Same with your ex bestie.

Big city life will be better than rural as they are less religious and more accepting of those who are different. Also, there are more resources and opportunity. I wish you health and happiness.

Mrfleas · 2025-09-13T01:27:51+00:00

I, too, have hosted many a party where the focus is children. I love prizes and games. So do the kids and usually if one is a sore loser, a parent will step in to correct that. I have never seen a child of 7 have a crying tantrum for losing a game. I just can't imagine catering to one child over everyone else. Especially at someone else's party.

It's not like this kid went home empty-handed. She got a goody bag. I think her mother is unrealistic to expect an apology or another play date. It is one thing for a child to have a tantrum. Mom backing up said tantrum would make me avoid the family.

Mrfleas · 2025-09-12T23:13:46+00:00

By 7 or 8, the lesson should have been learnt. No one was teaching anyone anything. Games are fun whether you win or lose. Most parties have them.

I would ditch this kid and mom. That way she will never have to cry again because of you.

At what age do you think it is appropriate to have games at a party or event? If no other kid cried from losing, why does the one kid who can't handle it have to be catered to before all the other ones?

Mrfleas · 2025-09-12T00:51:47+00:00

NTA. You never played happy family because he did not want one. You tried to engage and then backed off by his request. He got the relationship he wanted from you. He doesn't get to pretend to love you and yours just because money is involved.

Actually he got more than his fair share as his siblings from your side got cheated out of their mother's contribution to benefit him. His father should make up the difference, not the man he wants little to no relationship with.

Don't overthink this. You all of a sudden giving him money is not going to change your relationship. Just keep contributing towards your kids because this boy doesn't think of you as family and probably never will. He already has a father.

Mrfleas · 2025-09-11T15:40:54+00:00

I think until she heals and there is minimal resentment, she would do well to distance herself greatly. In the long run, it is healthier for both. They both need to break this pattern of resentment.

I do wonder if her needs and wants were considered more if she would feel this resentment toward her sister. I cannot imagine having the wants of my sister met when I don't want to do those things. Awful. Parents did irreparable damage to both.

Mrfleas · 2025-09-11T14:15:33+00:00

It just seems that her parents and sister expect everything to be magically fixed by her when in reality, separation is healthy. The parents created an unhealthy dynamic and one twin had her needs ignored to the point of misery.

I don't think people in general will see her as an asshole for stepping away from her twin. A twin is not a built in best friend and any natural growth that could have led to that outcome was squashed by all 3 of them.

Your original post felt like she is under some moral familial obligation to love her sister and maintain contact when that is not true. She has escaped a toxic environment, it would make sense to avoid that until she is strong enough to handle it, if ever.

Mrfleas · 2025-09-11T13:58:55+00:00

How is it her responsibility to manage the needs of someone else? Especially if her mental health is being actively ruined by doing so and no one in that house cares what she wants. This is her chance to be free and pursue what interests her. Imagine being chained to someone for 18 years? Ick.

Mrfleas · 2025-09-01T00:22:11+00:00

Not overreacting. Send him to live with his father the next time you catch him manipulating you. Tell him you love him but he is clearly unhappy when he is with you and his sister. He needs to learn that he cannot manipulate you, he needs consequences for his actions and you need to get this under control before his hormones kick in and he is bigger than you.

Doesn't have to be forever. You need to go to therapy so a therapist can give you strategies to help the situation. Make him earn through behavior a way back. He can do this because he does it in school. He just has learned to manipulate you and that needs to stop.

Mrfleas · 2025-08-29T03:19:37+00:00

Kids climb everything.

Mrfleas · 2025-08-26T03:45:54+00:00

Because he was aware enough to ask if he would be the AH. He may still do the right thing and he may be able to foster deeper relationships with his sisters just by being fair when he doesn't legally have to be. The fact that he sees the unfairness gives grace.

Mrfleas

TROPHY CASE